Best Friend Fixated on my Junk - how to manage him?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by PDuvalEE, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. PDuvalEE

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    So my best friend (we're both married) is fixated on my cock -- I'm well endowed (6" soft) and i'll catch him checking me out whenever he can. I like showing off like everyone else, but I think it is becoming too much for him. He recently came out to me, saying he was bi and into me. I am very much attracted to my wife and told him I'd never consider anything with him, which upset him pretty much. So my question is, has this happened to others? How'd you handle it? Did things ever get back to normal? And the twist is, I liked showing off to him, and liked it when he got worked up about it...but now I feel I'll need to stop for fear of "cock teasing him". Thoughts anyone?
     
  2. Stephenmass

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    one, stop cock teasing him.

    two, let him know exactly how you feel and how your feelings toward him have not changed and there is no possibility of anything else beyond friendship.

    honesty works wonders.
     
  3. borntobeking

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    Maybe I come from a different era or a different place because I do not understand this. I grew up in the inner-city (North Philly to be exact) I have friends that are closer to me than family but we have never showed off our cocks to each other. I have never seen them and don't want to. They have never seen mine. Maybe we're not as close as I thought.

    It almost sounds like you invited this attention. You should definitely stop teasing him if you have no interest in pursuing anything. I hope you are still able to sustain a good friendship.
     
  4. Charles Finn

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    yes just be honest
    if you can keep it just sex if not then just friends
    you will need time apart too
     
  5. PDuvalEE

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    Thanks guys -- good comments. To clarify, he'd usually catch a quick glance at me while peeing or heck out my bulge in shorts/pants -- or when we'd shower at the gym. I haven't ever whipped it out for him to check. Sounds like honesty and some space.

    What about if I actually like his attention? It sounds duplicitous, I know, but I do...guess that's my issue!
     
  6. monel

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    I have a question that may or may not be relevant. What if you weren't married would you be open to doing anything with him?
     
  7. helgaleena

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    Very important consideration since you seem to enjoy showing yourself off and are not at all crippled by a poor body image. You show yourself to your bi friend but not as a means to excite him per se, or not?

    A related issue: what if you were in a situation where female nudity was also going on? would you be open to ladies looking? Would you be open to your wife being present? I am not suggesting infidelity but simply wondering if you and she have compatible attitudes to nudity that might influence your taste for showing yourself.

    You may find that you have quite differing reactions to the idea of your wife being nude around others, even other females. Get your thoughts straight about the subject before you make a decision one way or another about your male friend and how you treat him.
     
  8. Boobalaa

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    who's obsessed with what here?
     
  9. K.Dst

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    No it doesn't. :frown1:

    But still, it's the best thing to do.:wink:
     
  10. lankz

    lankz New Member

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    fae me i'd take it as a compliment like bodybuilders they check each other out is harmless seems you know the boundries

    curiosity killed the cat so what it as 9 lives
     
  11. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Yeah, and you know that's the fucked up part. Stop it. You're not nearly as direct as you think in telling him (a) that nothing will ever, ever happen, but (b) oh here's my dongle, catch a peek if you can. I don't think you have to quit working out with your bud, but you're just going to have to practice extra discretion if he's around. Go take a piss in a stall, and get your clothes on and off in the changing room as expeditiously as you can.

    Personally, I'm a little more interested in how much showing off you do versus how much your wife could / should / does appreciate it...
     
  12. justine

    justine Member

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    I had the same situtation of being interested in a married friend. Please do not hurt him with showing off and talking sex and than holding out. Finally aftet two years of being hurt he finally did what he wanted all along and that is have a relationship. He is still happily married and the time we spend together is wonderful.
     
  13. PDuvalEE

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    The problem with keeping my cock from his view is he now gets pissed when I hide it. I was free with showing it off -- we were guys and I had no idea he was interested. So now I cant show it off to him because he'll want it more, right? So I've stopped showing it, but it bothers him as we not "just men"...He'll be like, why you changing over there?
     
  14. steveorleans

    steveorleans New Member

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    So you show your cock off to guys because you get off on it, but you get weirded out when one of your 'friends' gets off on seeing a cock?
    Be a "just man". Geez.
     
  15. B_beltboy

    B_beltboy New Member

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    Honeslty, I think you should consider some safe exploration with him. Do not be offended the is interested, show it off, plunge into the situation, take it all the way to the other side, and see where you land. Dare him to compare size, compare notes....Slip on a porno, jerk off in the same room and let him get an eyefull. My guess is that you will be better bonded as friends after. I think you should self examine a bit, stop putting heat on him and just be a good friend. There is a range of activities that can be engaged in that does not cross the line, and we would all be better off for just enjoying the shades of grey of sexual behavior and attraction.
     
  16. vizzered

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    This should be in the Fictitious Stories thread like your other post.
     
  17. Countryguy63

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    Assuming this is legit, I'm actually going to disagree with many here.

    If you have always comfortably undressed and other things involving nudity around him, if you start avoiding and hiding from him, things will inevitably be uncomfortable.

    Assuming that you really don't want to do anything with him, and you are not wagling it out, teasing him :mad:, once he has expressed an interest in you, and you have honestly told him that you are not interested, it is his responsibility to behave appropriately.

    Let him know that nothing with your friendship has changed (opening up to you, was probably a big deal for him, and in my opinion, showed a lot of trust. Don't make him feel akward or guilty about it.

    I have a bf. I still like to look at cocks. But, unless it is agreed upon between us, it is my responsibility to control my actions.

    Good Luck
     
  18. PDuvalEE

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    Thanks Countryguy -- this is legit alright. But I think you've summed it up well. I thought the best thing to do was avoid distraction by remaining covered. But I understand your perspective of how my changed behavior might make him uncomfortable. And I'm sure that he's a big enough guy to behave appropriately. Thanks again for your thoughts.
     
  19. dong-in-khakis

    dong-in-khakis New Member

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    This may sound contradictory and I'm not trying to imply anything, but seriously, are you being totally honest about your orientation? If you enjoyed showing him that seems possibly to indicate that in some respect it turned you on.

    Maybe you're bi? If you weren't married would you let him have it?

    No offense..
     
    #19 dong-in-khakis, Mar 16, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2011
  20. coachreffn

    coachreffn Active Member

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    Personally, it doesn't sound like you guys are true friends. He knows you are devoted to your wife and only interested in her and yet he is offended when you have stopped showing off to him? That is not friendship. He should expect parameters.

    However, it appears that you are as into this as he is and now you miss it as much as he does. I think a little honesty with yourself is the major issue. You may be devoted to your wife but this does interest you and excites you. Deal with it.
     
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