Best friend screwed up bad - to tell or not to tell girlfriend

B_subgirrl

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Yeah, I know what you mean. But as it goes, if a friend of mine told me that kind of story it would transform how I viewed them, I don't think I'd be able to respect them all that much.


I'd tell his GF straight away that he's out having unprotected sex with randomers. The GF has a right to know that he could be exposing her to STDs or himself to paternity suits. That kind of shit is very much her business.

I thought that as well :biggrin1:.


Lots of ifs, buts and maybe's here!
For all you know, the "other " women may have a hidden agenda and this whole drunken seduction was part of a plan. Women do drop their guard when drunk, but is sounds like she knew what she was doing.

The man may have had a hidden agenda. It sounds like he knew what he was doing. Despite the fact that we have no evidence of that :rolleyes:.


Sounds like he has got what he deserves. Hopefully he will take more responsibility in future and learn that infidelity comes at a cost.

Go back and re-read the OP. There was no infidelity.
 

MickeyLee

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double standard...

when ever a gay dude posts anything about preferring no condoms.
or getting a bit tipsy, and skipping over the safer-sex portion of the evening..

there is always a shock chorus.. of OMG!!NOEZ!! AIDS y'all!!

but....

when straight folks post about loving cream pie, pregnancy scares, "oopsies, got a bit bit tipsy.. stuck my penis god knows where:redface:"

eta: indiscriminate application of vagina should be cautioned against as well *added to avoid... a triple standard?*

ya barely even get a lecture about the value of not accidentally making another human being or spreading cooties of various lethality/itchiness about.

randomly.. i was woken up at 8am by some unidentifiable bit of yard maintenance equipment. this could all be a bit of grumpy girl torque.
 
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B_subgirrl

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double standard...

randomly.. i was woken up at 8am by some unidentifiable bit of yard maintenance equipment. this could all be a bit of grumpy girl torque.

Nah, I'm thinking it really is a double standard. I'd figure it was too late for a lecture either way, but you'd usually expect SOMEONE to say something along those lines before the end of the first page.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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double standard...

when ever a gay dude posts anything about preferring no condoms.
or getting a bit tipsy, and skipping over the safer-sex portion of the evening..

there is always a shock chorus.. of OMG!!NOEZ!! AIDS y'all!!

but....

when straight folks post about loving cream pie, pregnancy scares, "oopsies, got a bit bit tipsy.. stuck my penis god knows where:reface:"

ya barely even get a lecture about the value of not accidentally making another human being or spreading cooties of various lethality/itchiness about.

randomly.. i was woken up at 8am by some unidentifiable bit of yard maintenance equipment. this could all be a bit of grumpy girl torque.




Word.
 

MickeyLee

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*lick*

ymmmmm awesomeness.

Nah, I'm thinking it really is a double standard. I'd figure it was too late for a lecture either way, but you'd usually expect SOMEONE to say something along those lines before the end of the first page.

*lick* sticky-sweet awesomeness.
 

joyboytoy79

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Uhm... tell her now. In fact, I don't understand why he didn't tell her about his little dalliance before now. He had unprotected sex. Pregnancy is only ONE of the worries there. His current GF has a right to know that her boyfriend may have any number of STDs.

I really don't understand the folk who are saying to wait to make sure the other girl is pregnant. Why does that even matter? And if he does wait, what is he supposed to tell his girlfriend? "I waited to tell you until i knew she was pregnant, just in case she wasn't so I wouldn't ever have to tell you." I'm sorry, but I wanna know who my peeps been sleeping with.
 

MickeyLee

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houldn't The Girlfriend have asked all these "sexual history, last sketchy hook-up, is there a chance you might be a babyDaddy" questions before she got into bed with Johnny Appleseed?

cuz.. yeah.. cooties, kids, crazy Exs, bench warrants :smile:
 

vince

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I think the girl who may be pregnant has a right to privacy. Until she knows for certain and sorts out what to do or not do about her situation, it's nobody else's business. If it takes a little time to learn if she really is, then so be. Friendly boy's girl can wait to be told for a little bit. If it kills the relationship then it wasn't gonna last anyway.

But. If Friendly is having unprotected with New girl, then they are stupid and he needs to tell her that he did the same in the recent past.
 

B_subgirrl

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And if he does wait, what is he supposed to tell his girlfriend? "I waited to tell you until i knew she was pregnant, just in case she wasn't so I wouldn't ever have to tell you." I'm sorry, but I wanna know who my peeps been sleeping with.

This is how it would come across to me!!


I think the girl who may be pregnant has a right to privacy.

As far as The Friend and his partners are concerned, I think she gave that up when she had unprotected sex. As he did where she and her partners are concerned.
 

dolfette

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it's her business to know every girl he shagged before he met her? seriously?

if that's how relationships wirk these days then i'm even more glad to be single.
Lots of ifs, buts and maybe's here!
For all you know, the "other " women may have a hidden agenda and this whole drunken seduction was part of a plan. Women do drop their guard when drunk, but is sounds like she knew what she was doing.
As far as your friend is concerned, being unfaithful is unacceptable and if it wasn't for this bit of Karma that's about to fuck up his relationship, he would have happily hidden the fact that he is untrustworthy to his current partner.
When will the next drunken fuck happen and what excuse will he had next time?
Sounds like he has got what he deserves. Hopefully he will take more responsibility in future and learn that infidelity comes at a cost.
oooh look!
you match your av.
you're a dick :rolleyes:
 

MickeyLee

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there is no reason to violate Possibly-Pregger's privacy.
the only conversation Friendly and Girlfriend need to have is about their own sexual health history.

unprotected sex talk.
history of testing/result talk.
get tested together.
discuss.

if the happy couple chose to skip over those steps on the way to humping, well.. there are bigger issues to deal with. a lack of personal responsibility being number one.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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While it is a private matter, the matter doesn't belong solely to the potentially pregnant woman in question. They both had unprotected sex, they both have a stake in the outcome of whatever the testing finds.

If I was the girlfriend I'd want to know. Such a revelation doesn't mean a breakup, but it's a potentially life-altering situation and she has a right to know what's going on. If the tables were turned we'd be reading different reactions in this thread.
 
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MickeyLee

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While it is a private matter, the matter doesn't belong solely to the potentially pregnant woman in question. They both had unprotected sex, they both have a stake in the outcome of whatever the testing finds.

once he knows that there is an issue, once he find outs how Possibly-Preggers *well, now Actually-Preggers" wants to handle the pregnancy..

like say she is.. and she aborts.. doesn't she have the right to make the choice without some random stranger * a stranger maybe packing some less than charitable opinion of PP/AP* knowing her business?

instead of folks putting themselves in the shoes of Girlfriend, maybe they should try to stand in PP/AP's shoes. she might be knocked up, from a one night stand... kinda sucks.

If I was the girlfriend I'd want to know. Such a revelation doesn't mean a breakup, but it's a potentially life-altering situation and she has a right to know what's going on. If the tables we'd be reading different reactions in this thread.

not really.. if a woman posted that she was pissed she just found out that her man-o-awesome had possibly impregnated a woman prior to their relationship... my response would be pretty much the same.

until she says "i'm having the kid, he's yours" to her man, is really none of her business.

since Girlfriend/Hypothetical Female Poster didn't think to inquire of her partners sexual/relationship history.. she's kinda shit out of luck. i'd tell her to learn a valuable lesson. :shrug:



eta: post-ponder... i would probably be harsher on a woman with the same/reverse issue. she should be able to empathize/sympathy for another woman.

even if PP/AP posted here, i'd tell her to keep her mouth shut until she a. knew she was pregnant. 2. knew what she wanted to do.

 
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D_Tim McGnaw

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since Girlfriend/Hypothetical Female Poster didn't think to inquire of her partners sexual/relationship history.. she's kinda shit out of luck. i'd tell her to learn a valuable lesson. :shrug:




Hmmm, sure the GF is stupid for not having inquired whether or not her BF has been going bareback recently that doesn't excuse him from having done so and not bothered to inform her.
 

MickeyLee

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Hmmm, sure the GF is stupid for not having inquired whether or not her BF has been going bareback recently that doesn't excuse him from having done so and not bothered to inform her.

oh, he's a dick. he totally should have said.. "i ain't proud of my behaviour, but, recently there has been some latexless shenanigans in my pantsal regions." there should have been some talk of testing and such the second they went from *hopefully protected* hooking up to a relationship.

people ain't always forthcoming with their mistakes/regrets.. so i ask.

then i have to figure if i know the person well enough to put my ass/life/favorite-funniest parts of me on the line. after two months of knowing some dude? hell no.

and if i glossed over all those steps of being a grown-ass person before doing the grown-up... is my failing.. i can't take away someone's right because i fucked up.

more ramble.. mostly to myself.. feel free to ignore.

the OP/Friendly doesn't seem concerned about sexual health.. just about how to/when to tell the girl. how to.. honestly. when to? when you know the hell is going on.

so if you take out any possible sexual health risk *assuming both Friendly, PP/PA and Girlfriend are STI free* ya left with two people who may or may not be having a kid under really bad circumstances?

Friendly doesn't want a relationship with PP/PA.... and i am guessing PP/PA probably doesn't want a relationship with Friendly *cuz drunken hook-up turning into relationships are plot twist for Judd Apatow movies, but rarely happen in real life* so the only issue is.. would Girlfriend be okay dating someone with a kid.

until the dude has a kid, is a non-issue.

and really.. if he has a kid.... having a kid is were his priorities will have to be.
not some chick he's been seeing for a couple of months. right? or maybe? or i am completely out of my mind?






 
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hud01

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Uhm... tell her now. In fact, I don't understand why he didn't tell her about his little dalliance before now. He had unprotected sex. Pregnancy is only ONE of the worries there. His current GF has a right to know that her boyfriend may have any number of STDs.

I really don't understand the folk who are saying to wait to make sure the other girl is pregnant. Why does that even matter? And if he does wait, what is he supposed to tell his girlfriend? "I waited to tell you until i knew she was pregnant, just in case she wasn't so I wouldn't ever have to tell you." I'm sorry, but I wanna know who my peeps been sleeping with.
You have to be joking. this is ridiculous. This is not a job interview, you do not need to tell your current gf your sexual history.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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You have to be joking. this is ridiculous. This is not a job interview, you do not need to tell your current gf your sexual history.



So you have no problem screwing someone without a condom, not getting tested afterwards, and then not telling your next sexual partner?
 
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