Best lines uttered or moves made while banging

[meanestpenis]

I'd love for some of you to list some of the weirdest things you've heard or seen while you have banged!!

I will go over mine! I have some from EACH sex partner and some from the girls I've just eaten out!

### THOSE I'VE BANGED ###

1. First GF and first bang!

• Keep it runnin' (while i was eating her out on the couch. she ALSO was doing this Queen of England wave with her eyes closed as i was munching!)
• Fuu-huhuh-k... ME! (Banging her on her bedroom floor)

2. Second woman I fucked was a one nighter on NYE 2002. She basically forced herself on me as I was trying to walk home alone.

• Why are you making me do this? (While she was biting my body and ripping my shirt and pants off)
• Punch my tits! (Yeah, they were sloppy.)
• Don't you want my phone number (mid-fuck)

3. Third fuck was an old GF who never fucked me before but we met up later in life and she wanted some fux this time around after dumping her long term BF for cheating

• Tell me when you cum so I can feel you rinse him out of me!!

4. This fuck turned into my fiancee

• DEEEEEEP! (This was screamed in guttural growl)
• If she was on top and was about to come would start pulling her hair, beating her chest and slapped me across the head and face. Major boner withering

5. This fuck was the rebound chick after fiancee left me

• Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh--iiiiiiii--tttt! (Took about 10 seconds for her to complete one utterance of "shit")
  
• JEEEEEE-zusssss! (over and over again in rhythm to her bobbin on my nobbin

6. This was my buddy's sister who I'd throw down on for kicks

• Pleeeeeeease!
• I have a hard time trying to... you know... CUMMMM (This was said after she's be tearing the shit out of her awesome brown nips and areolas.

7. This was the girl who replaced my buddy's sister in the house she lived in

• You're making my bottom half move. Once that happens, I can't help but fuck!
• I will call it "BRUISER"

8. Some drunk Filipina who I helped barf at some party

• Ohhhh CHRIS! (My name is not Chris)

9. Some girl I went to HS with and we met 8 years later

• She never said anything weird or did anything weird A+!!!

10. Some girl who stalked me after I played a show. She got me drunk and took advantage

• Your tongue is at least 300 volts
• oooffff... ooooooffff.... ooooooofffff. (over and over. ad nauseam)

11. A nice fat roly poly buddy. Great sopping wet puss on this ho

• Fuck it
• Thanks. Wanna eat? (after being done)

12. My wife

• Oooog. Ooooog!

#### PUSSY EATING ONLY ###

1. Girl at work whose house I had to crash at

• Hard. Core. (I was down there for a long time and she stunk like shit)
• I'mma jump yo BONES. (Found out I had no rubbers and renegged on that)

2. My sister's friend after she invaded my room after too much drinking

• Get away from me (After i ate her and made her cum twice)

3. Buddy's stewardess neighbor who was a rebound fling

• D.... d... Do... you.. watch PORN? (as she's beating me off and I'm sucking her massive, firm E cups)

That's all I have. I have other tales like getting my first GF doggiestyle and witnessing a smooshed shit nugget on her anus, but we won't go there.

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

a guy asked me one time if i liked his "swizzle stick" ...i promptly made him leave

 

[the_reverend]

the two that stood out the most my first time:
1. (upon pulling my cock out): "That's the biggest white dick i've ever seen!"
2. (while i was eating her out, she started moaning words i couldn't understand): "It's French! Keep going!"

other random favorites:

"I can feel you in my stomach!"
"Get that on quick, i need you inside of me!" (re: condom)
"You'd have made a great lesbian, if it weren't for that big dick..."
"I want to have your babies..."

and not really a quote, but i was fucking an ex of mine after giving her a two hour massage and she came so loudly i could LITERALLY hear the walls vibrating. lol!

 

[Cockmo]

Once in Puerto Vallarta when I was fucking a local he kept saying..."More Fuck, More Fuck, More Fuck" meaning not to stop. When I was jerking to cum, he put his hand on the lower end of my cock to help!

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

the two that stood out the most my first time:
1. (upon pulling my cock out): "That's the biggest white dick i've ever seen!"
2. (while i was eating her out, she started moaning words i couldn't understand): "It's French! Keep going!"

other random favorites:

"I can feel you in my stomach!"
"Get that on quick, i need you inside of me!" (re: condom)
"You'd have made a great lesbian, if it weren't for that big dick..."
"I want to have your babies..."

and not really a quote, but i was fucking an ex of mine after giving her a two hour massage and she came so loudly i could LITERALLY hear the walls vibrating. lol!

love your avatar...did you know that he was gay...kind of ruined his character on how i met your mother...but not really

 

[need2bsexy2]

These were all said just before sex, do they count?

Look at you!..You're huge!
You know, you're bigger limp than most guys are hard.
Oh my God! You're even bigger than your pictures.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. (by a nurse)
Oh my! (then she hopped on me cowgirl and went to town)

 

[the_reverend]

love your avatar...did you know that he was gay...kind of ruined his character on how i met your mother...but not really

yeah, i'm a big NPH fan. heard he was gay when he first came out. didn't ruin his playing Barney for me at all because he's a talented performer in his own right and Barney's one of the best written characters on TV. wouldn't ruin a gay character for me to find out he/she was played by a straight actor/actress.

and to bring this back to the topic...i'd love to have a girl riding me and hear her say just before she came "this is legen...wait for it..."

 

[Animal_Alpha]

"That thing is not REAL!"

Was funny...and arousing, ofcourse xP

 

[meanestpenis]

I love these stories! Fuckin LOVE 'EM!

 

[divisiblebyzero]

as i posted in the 1st time reactions thread a new fuck the other day said "give me it all" and immediately followed by "umph ow, don't give me it all"
another that comes to mind is "I can't believe I'm thinking about letting you put that in my ass"
from eating girls out i've heard "oh wow, that's good" and "hold on, i need a minute to recover"

 

[B_625girth]

"damn your big, I'm not lettin' this pass." this was on a first date, and 2 minutes before as we walked to the car from a bar, she said," i don't mess around on the first date." then we got in the car, and as I got in, she must have noticed my bulge, because she put her hand on it, and then unzipped and reached in and pulled it out. she decided to skip the next bar and go to her place. that began a 4 month fucking relationship. the next morning, she gave me the "to early to love you, but I know I love your cock." as was always glad it was attached to me, and not snap on tool.

 

[B_FatMushroomHead]

"Point the bean" by me

 

[likitisplit]

when she pulled my undies down...
where have you been all my life?
looking for you babe!
oh shit baby...dayum! (as she started sucking)
fwiw...we were married for 21 years after that.

 

[D_Petherick_Poundlouder]

It was more like a dialogue.

Her: "Oh my god, that is soo big"
Me: "Thats what they say..."

Simple, but the way it flowed out of me was unexpected, and just great.

 

[likitisplit]

adam to eve during the first hard..."uhh...stand back honey...i have no idea how big this will get!" eve...damn...it quit! here, eat an apple!"

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

yeah, i'm a big NPH fan. heard he was gay when he first came out. didn't ruin his playing Barney for me at all because he's a talented performer in his own right and Barney's one of the best written characters on TV. wouldn't ruin a gay character for me to find out he/she was played by a straight actor/actress.

and to bring this back to the topic...i'd love to have a girl riding me and hear her say just before she came "this is legen...wait for it..."

LOL

 

[catman]

A moan/full body shiver...

 

[B_icsmo]

Just as I started shooting inside her: "I can feel you cumming...I feel your dick cumming!"

 

[takeyourmark]

yeah, i'm a big NPH fan. heard he was gay when he first came out. didn't ruin his playing Barney for me at all because he's a talented performer in his own right and Barney's one of the best written characters on TV. wouldn't ruin a gay character for me to find out he/she was played by a straight actor/actress.

and to bring this back to the topic...i'd love to have a girl riding me and hear her say just before she came "this is legen...wait for it..."

LOL! i would love to hear someone tell me that!

 

[B_quietguy]

"You are much better than the banana!" - uttered by one of my partners after a 3-some. We peeled a banana, put one end in one partner's pussy, slid the other end into the other partner. (We only got about an inch or so in because even the firm pre-ripe bananas get mushy quickly.) I can still remember the site of their cunts connected together by the banana. Then I pulled the banana out of both them, ate it, licked their cunts cleaned, and fucked them both.