Water based lubes are going to always have a shorter time limit on their durability than something with a more aggressive form of oil or silicone. There are a number of "hybrid" lubes out there that have a mix of water-based and some silicone formulations that last a lot longer than water-based alone but wash off more easily and don't stain nearly as much.
Personally, I've used a brand called "JO" that makes a Hybrid version that works well for... well... jerking off, but also works for ass play. It's non staining, and lasts quite a long time. It's available many places, including Amazon. They also make a water-based lube called "H2O Anal" that seems to have a bit more oil in it that helps with lasting a bit longer than a number of others.
Wet also makes a variety of Hybrid lubes in their "Wet Elite" and "Wet Gold" lines.
Finally, Mr S Leather sells something called "Spit" that is a water-based lube but has a formulation that can be reactivated with very little moisture... so the idea is that if it feels like it's wearing out, you just spit on it a little and you're back in business without having to do a full reapplication.
In any case, give the hybrids a try.