Best non-sexual reaction to your penis

[aquaman875]

I thought of this based on something that happened yesterday.

I was at a football game with a bunch of friends. A couple of the guys had snuck in flasks w/alcohol. I was sitting next to my friend's girlfriend, who pointed to my penis, which had created a nice bulge on my inner thigh and said, "what did you bring in?" She didn't believe me as I repeatedly told her I didn't sneak anything in. Finally, she grabbed it and gave a squeeze. She became very embarrassed and said, "oh...sorry."

 

[nashboy]

hahaha...thats classic and hot that she grabbed it...you know what she was thinking after she did...lol...she prob did it on purpose

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

Security guard: "Sir, please empty EVERYTHING from your pockets."

 

[unabear09]

lmao! I wish that'd happen to me lol

 

[Calboner]

Security guard: "Sir, please empty EVERYTHING from your pockets."

Well, it could have been a cucumber wrapped in foil.

YouTube - Spinal Tap: Airport Security

Look also at this thread:

http://www.lpsg.org/103625-i-got-accused-shoplifting-today.html

 

[Aruba 1st]

I've been 'looked at' and asked what I'm packing as I close on a bunch of CCW guys, like when I go to pick up a repaired auto.

 

[solinvictus]

I was walking in gym shorts into the wind so there was a very clear visible outline. I walked past a group of people and as I was walking past I could hear them talking about it with shocked reactions.

 

[Cant_Stop]

The best was, "Don't break my sister!"

 

[lerotic]

"Congratulations"

Said a guy in the urinal next to me at a club... Really made me feel fucking weird

 

[8+Club]

Something like that happened to me. I was at the urinal by the bathroom door at the club once. One guy came in talking to his friend, looked over at me and made a mid-sentence comment. He was talking about a girl he met or something and it went something like this.

"So I was trying to talk to her, but her friends - Woah, THAT guy's got a huge dick...(silence) - Anyway, her friends kept butting in so I couldn't get her number."

Really weird. And on my way out he gave me a look like he wanted to give me a high five or something.

 

[D_Joe Munchin]

Hugging an old friend, she looked down and said "Is that your phone or are you pleased to see me?"

She went red after I said "Neither."

That was a fun night. :wink:

 

[hugeschlongeddude]

The best was, "Don't break my sister!"

I had a girlfriend's brother make comments, too, but not quite the same thing. I guess that he had seen my outline in some gym shorts that I was wearing, and started, for some time, to call me "Big Dan Balls." My cock, not my balls, made up most of the bulge, but that's what he decided to call me. He and her older brother both went on for a while after that about how big my package was and that it was "no wonder" that she decided to go with me. Flattering under another set of circumstances? Maybe, but considering that this was my gf's brother, it was pretty awkward.

A similar reaction to my size came from my house mates during my freshman year of college. They joked about how big my package was and how it was tough to contain it in a pair of jeans.

Neither of these instances were sexual at all, and they made for some awkward moments, but looking back on them, they're a nice boost to my ego.

 

[Goose_Eggs]

'non-sexual'........is there really such a thing when talking about a cock? lol

here's one of my faves:

August, I'm walking the dog in shorts and t-shirt (freeballing in baggy soccer shorts), a couple walking up the block approaching me, as we get closer the woman reaches down and does the 'cute dog' thing, a bit of small talk, the guy looks at me and says "sure got a lot of action going on down there", woman says "yes, he really has to run to keep up" (I have a small dog), I say, "but the exercise is good for him", guy says, "no I mean your junk swinging around in those shorts buddy, could see it flopping a block away."

 

[pete-zamann]

About 12 years ago I used to live in north London and was walking home from work going in the opposite direction of a traffic jam, i noticed a woman in a car notice my package, she just stared and stared, she actually ploughed into the back of another car!!!!!

 

[Scrotumlicker]

About 12 years ago I used to live in north London and was walking home from work going in the opposite direction of a traffic jam, i noticed a woman in a car notice my package, she just stared and stared, she actually ploughed into the back of another car!!!!!

Well Pete, after seeing what you're packin' I wood probably have done the same thing.

 

[BJJDan]

I thought of this based on something that happened yesterday.

I was at a football game with a bunch of friends. A couple of the guys had snuck in flasks w/alcohol. I was sitting next to my friend's girlfriend, who pointed to my penis, which had created a nice bulge on my inner thigh and said, "what did you bring in?" She didn't believe me as I repeatedly told her I didn't sneak anything in. Finally, she grabbed it and gave a squeeze. She became very embarrassed and said, "oh...sorry."

I actually got frisked by a cop under the exact same circumstances at a college football game. He thought he had caught me with a flask for sure but got a handful of cock and balls instead. I looked him right in the eyes and said, that’s my fucking dick bro. He was totally embarrassed both by the situation and the fact that I’m probably bigger than him. It felt pretty fucking alpha.

 

[ericbear]

I was out for a walk in gym shorts on a warm Saturday afternoon. I am crossing the street, and there are cars stopped at the red light. A woman passenger rolls down the window and yells "Get a goddamn jockstrap for Christ's sake!"

 

[NCbear]

I’ve been frisked by the same gigantic straight TSA guy the last six times I’ve flown out of the local airport.

He feels my cock very carefully with the back of his hand.

NCbear (who said, this most recent time, “This is the sixth time this has happened in four months. Have you seen Last Holiday with Queen Latifah? You might want to check your scanner!”)

 

[ohiorod]

I once had someone who had been in an art sculpture class where I had modeled ask me after class if I would model for him for a weekend at his summer home. He said he was only interested in my penis. He did multiple drawings and a painting. He paid nicely and there were no sexual requests, He just said that I had an extremely attractive flaccid penis and that was all he was requesting of me. He claimed to have several gay clients who he catered his work towards. He had a very nice place; I stayed there, ate there and especially enjoyed his pool and his extensive art collection.

 

[ericbear]

Although I just posted to this thread the other day, tonight there was a new one...

Tonight I was taking a piss at the bar, and the guy at the next urinal remarked "You have the thickest dick. That would definitely send someone to the Emergency Room in the morning." Being modest, I asked the guy peeing in the toilet behind us for a second opinion. He replied "definitely an Emergency Room Dick."

Now in all honesty, in my lifetime I do admit to having fucked about four or so guys unconscious (plus the one that passed out mid-blowjob), but I have never knowingly sent anyone to the ER. Nevertheless, I found the description quite flattering. Maybe we can start a new meme: #EmergencyRoomDick.