Best of Craigslist - Lost Bra, Ass Cleaning, Kidney for Obama tickets

marleyisalegend

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marleyisalegend

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Here's another gem

Shocked by my cucumber... - w4m
Date: 2008-06-04, 9:21PM MDT


Look. English cucumbers go for $1.50 each at the Midvale Harmon's on 7th East. That's right. Each.

So while you were standing next to me gawking as I tried to find the biggest, individually, shrink-wrapped English cucumber, I thought I would just politely explain why I was being so picky. It struck me afterwards why you might have been a bit traumatized, Mr. Three Cans of Rock Star energy drink, 4 donuts, and one tub of potato salad, after I told you that "size really does matter, you know..."

$1.50 each! That means I pay the same for a short, stubby one. A crooked, bumpy one. A long, firm one. A soft, mushy one. An average-lengthed, chubby one... So yes, if I pay the same no matter what, I wanted a long, chubby, firm English cucumber for the money, thankyouverymuch.

But if you aren't too traumatized from our interaction, I'm single (and I'm guessing you are too, Mr. Three Cans of Rock Star, 4 donuts, and one tub of potato salad). Come on over and I'll feed you. Care for a salad? I can omit the cucumber...
 

Enid

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B_Nick8

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Oh, god, this is brill. It's also primarily written by and intended for people whose families are the by-product of cousins marrying cousins for generations. :fingersx:

[Edit: Some of these are really a new window on the world. Or a window on another world. Or something.]
 
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whatireallywant

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The one that cracked me up was "Autographed copy of the Bible". Like anyone is going to fall for that! :biggrin1: (But then, never underestimate human stupidity... there are people out there who would actually believe that there is a Bible personally - or "Godally" - autographed by God! :laugh2:)
 

marleyisalegend

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The one that cracked me up was "Autographed copy of the Bible". Like anyone is going to fall for that! :biggrin1: (But then, never underestimate human stupidity... there are people out there who would actually believe that there is a Bible personally - or "Godally" - autographed by God! :laugh2:)

You know good and damn well somebody is gonna put their house up for sale to get that bullshit. We'll be seeing a 20/20 special on how their life went spiraling down cuz they had to sell their body just to make the rent after spending their life savings on a bible that, to this day, they swear was autographed by Jeebus himself.