Best Part of NOT being a Sexist ASS

zephyr808

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I viewed srk515 as one of the members who helped create the atmosphere I so wanted to work against from the thread this was posted in reaction to. That was the only reason I tried telling him off, which was fairly foolish of me considering his sexist attitude. The going off-topic thing, especially in a thread I created specifically for a specific atmosphere is quite on my mind.

Thank you for bringing it back on topic Zephyr :)

Gay men do not necessarily have an easier time being respectful of women. The thing is, gay men have a completely different perspective than straight men, which many women find as a breath of fresh air. I believe a lot of gay men can be disrespectful of women in different ways. That different perspective though I do think is easier to work with BECAUSE most gay men don't sleep with women. It is an interesting topic, isn't?

I like being able to identify and acknowledge sexist statements and attitudes. Being aware of what it means to be sexist and the impact it has on the people around you I think is huge.

I missed out on the "fun" in the other thread you mentioned, not that I am too concerned about that. Maybe one way to look at starting a thread on here is that you are giving a gift, but you can't control what happens to the gift after it is given. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and keep from saying, "you did WHAT with that cool shirt I bought you?" :wink:

As for my question about whether or not gay guys have it easier when it comes to being respectful of women, you are right that some guys are just jerks, regardless of sexual orientation. The difference is if some guy is a jerk to everyone, kind of an equal opportunity offender, I personally don't think those types of guys are worth trying to convince of your ideas. (In fact, for some reason I started thinking about hickboy when I re-read what I just typed, awww I kind of miss him popping up in a thread just for the hell of it to scream the word "CUNT!" at someone.) A guy who is the super coolest buddy to almost every other guy he meets but constantly talks shit about women, yeah there are issues there that could be psychoanalyzed and called out, because otherwise it's even harder to change. It makes me feel good about myself that I am a lot more tolerant of others than my parent's generation, whether it's gays, women, Asians, black people, Hispanics, people with disabilities, you name it. I think you're right, also, when you said "Being aware of what it means to be sexist and the impact it has on the people around you I think is huge", if more people stopped to think about what they are saying before they say it, it would eliminate a lot of the problems in the world. And, one more thought, there is no gender restriction on being sexist, obviously it occurs more often where women are the ones being insulted or worse, but there are reversals of that too. If you're looking at the big picture, it does matter what we all say and do.
 

Daisy

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It's amusing that the women here ignore the examples of women in abusive relationships that still love their men. I mean, you only have to watch so many episodes of Cops before this concept becomes really clear.

If youre using this an justification as to why guys think women love to be treated like shit then you're just plain dumb. No other way to put it.

Why do women stay??? Oh I don't know..is it because they enjoy it? or is it because..

Fear
Fear of physical harm
Fear of threats
Fear of harassment
Fear of making abuser angrier
Fear of living alone or being alone
Fear of losing children
Fear of losing house, car
Fear others will blame you
Fear of the unknown
Fear of financial problems without him
Fear a change in standard of living
Fear of deportation
Fear no one believes you
Fear of the court system
Love
Still loves the abuser
Commitment to the relationship
Sex, affection, and kindness during non violence times
Companionship
History together
Hope it's going to improve
Hope he'll change
Emotional
Low self-esteem
Being emotionally exhausted
Loneliness
Guilt
Self-blame for the abuse
Feeling like a failure
Feeling defective
Feeling unwanted by others
Change
Not wanting a divorce
Not wanting to be a single parent
Not wanting to look for someone else
Not wanting to leave pets
Not wanting to grieve
Not wanting to start over
Not wanting to change life style
Not wanting to lose his family
Not wanting to be excluded from social functions
Abuser
Uses mind games
Uses crying
Uses threats of suicide
Uses his power and his family's power
Uses his Mr. Nice Guy image
Uses promises
Uses apologies
Children
Pressure from children who want their dad
Believes it is best for children
Custody issues
Need childcare
Support
Nowhere to go
Unaware help is available
No support system
Isolated from support
Needs
Need insurance
Need financial support
Have health/disability issues
More
Not identifying abuse
Normalize abusive behaviors
Abusive cycle is familiar
Others accept violence as okay
Pressure from others
Preserve abusers reputation
Religious beliefs
Social status
Security
Having hopes and dreams
Same sex partners
Knowing its okay to leave
 

sbat

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Seaside, please stop. This guy used caricatures from COPS as his understanding of the dynamics or psychology of domestic violence. He is so clueless that nothing you can say will make any kind of sense to him at all.

If youre using this an justification as to why guys think women love to be treated like shit then you're just plain dumb. No other way to put it.

Why do women stay??? Oh I don't know..is it because they enjoy it? or is it because..

Fear
Fear of physical harm
Fear of threats
Fear of harassment
Fear of making abuser angrier
Fear of living alone or being alone
Fear of losing children
Fear of losing house, car
Fear others will blame you
Fear of the unknown
Fear of financial problems without him
Fear a change in standard of living
Fear of deportation
Fear no one believes you
Fear of the court system
Love
Still loves the abuser
Commitment to the relationship
Sex, affection, and kindness during non violence times
Companionship
History together
Hope it's going to improve
Hope he'll change
Emotional
Low self-esteem
Being emotionally exhausted
Loneliness
Guilt
Self-blame for the abuse
Feeling like a failure
Feeling defective
Feeling unwanted by others
Change
Not wanting a divorce
Not wanting to be a single parent
Not wanting to look for someone else
Not wanting to leave pets
Not wanting to grieve
Not wanting to start over
Not wanting to change life style
Not wanting to lose his family
Not wanting to be excluded from social functions
Abuser
Uses mind games
Uses crying
Uses threats of suicide
Uses his power and his family's power
Uses his Mr. Nice Guy image
Uses promises
Uses apologies
Children
Pressure from children who want their dad
Believes it is best for children
Custody issues
Need childcare
Support
Nowhere to go
Unaware help is available
No support system
Isolated from support
Needs
Need insurance
Need financial support
Have health/disability issues
More
Not identifying abuse
Normalize abusive behaviors
Abusive cycle is familiar
Others accept violence as okay
Pressure from others
Preserve abusers reputation
Religious beliefs
Social status
Security
Having hopes and dreams
Same sex partners
Knowing its okay to leave
 

Smaccoms

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@Zephyr. The last bit you mentioned really keys into the difference between racism and prejudice. Blacks may be prejudiced against whites, but you canNOT say that is the same as racism against blacks. The reasoning for the is complex and quite abstract. I find many times it is difficult to explain because simply do not think abstractly. I do, which is why I find it difficult to relate to many other people who think abstractly. As African Americans are oppressed while whites are not (in America anyway), prejudice against whites (from blacks) has no far-reaching impacts, unlike racism against blacks. Does that make sense to you?

The same goes for gender and sexism. Women are oppressed while men are not. As such, men can be sexist against women, while women can only be prejudiced against men. A woman's negative attitude toward men doesn't have nearly the far-reaching impacts as the opposing does because of which group that is oppressed versus the one that isn't.

Individuals who recognize this subtle difference are able to create a much more sophisticated understanding of the society they live in.

Edit: Also, your analogy of the gift to creating threads made it very clear (because I think abstractly). I now totally understand why I can't yell at those who anger me for destroying my thread, haha! Unless of course, it reaches an extreme!
 
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zephyr808

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I would agree with that point, Smac. Those who argue that it's really the straight white guys who are being oppressed somehow are intentionally missing the larger issue. The reality is that for centuries, women, blacks, gays, etc etc have not been treated equally, and now that our society recognizes the importance of everyone having an equal opportunity, we need to recognize that it still is not a level playing field. But, as I said, I do think it matters what each individual says and does. In a way, it's just as wrong for a woman to hate all men as it is for a man to hate all women, despite the inequalities from the past (many of which still exist in the present). It may be a difference like the one you mentioned in regards to racism, but it doesn't make it less wrong. That's how it makes sense to me anyway, but I am admittedly prone to oversimplifying things to fit into my own notions of what the world should be.
 

Niiko8

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Best part of NOT being a Sexist ASS?

Knowing that I'm still not better or worse than anybody else because I'm more than likely an ass on some other topic.

But really, I can't remember who mentioned it earlier, this thread was pretty much set up defensively from the get go in my opinion. I also think that people should distinguish between harmless (Yet, sometimes overtly offensive) banter and actual sexism and/or misogyny.

Just throwing it out there is all.
 
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701757

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I viewed srk515 as one of the members who helped create the atmosphere I so wanted to work against from the thread this was posted in reaction to. That was the only reason I tried telling him off, which was fairly foolish of me considering his sexist attitude. The going off-topic thing, especially in a thread I created specifically for a specific atmosphere is quite on my mind.

You're retarded.
 

sanpeixiaojie

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I thought I might start a new thread where everyone could post why it's so great to love and cherish other human beings. Humans are special, no matter who or what they are. I think it's something we all should stop and think about every now and think. Living in a society like todays, it's easy to forget at times.

I love holding the door open for strangers and greeting them with a friendly smile!

I love talking to nice strangers on the bus and getting into a really interesting and in-depth conversation.

I love hugs and kisses of all kinds! :tongue:

Universal love is one of the 3 loves (the other 2 being parental and romantic). Without it no one can be complete.
Unfortunately many do not feel or recognize this universal love, they feel hated, threatened, lonely etc... and project those feelings towards others.

hugs and kisses of all kinds to you.