Best Quotes

[Krusader]

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --George W. Bush

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." --George W. Bush

"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." --George W. Bush, addressing Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the APEC Summit, Sept. 7, 2007

 

[Yorkie]

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

He's wrong.Dental treatment without anasthetic is worse!


Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. - W.C Fields

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright


I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg


The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg