Best way to break up...

[jeff black]

Anyone have any ideas? I mean..if you care for the person and you don't want to hurt their feelings, there has to be a way to minimize the upset reaction.
I imagine everyone on the forum has had to break up at least once, and for those of you that came to terms with your homosexuality while you were dating a member of the opposite sex, there has to have been some very akward moments.
I know the worst way to do it is to sleep with someone, but I was thinking about it the other day because my best friend wants to break up with his gf, and I couldn't come up with anything. I turn to the wisdom of the group.
Help Oh WISE Group! :biggrin1:

 

[D_alex8]

Anyone have any ideas? I mean..if you care for the person and you don't want to hurt their feelings, there has to be a way to minimize the upset reaction.

I imagine everyone on the forum has had to break up at least once, and for those of you that came to terms with your homosexuality while you were dating a member of the opposite sex, there has to have been some very akward moments.

OK, second point first. I left the woman I had been seeing for 6 months so that I could be with her other boyfriend, so I'm guessing I'm not an ideal rôle model in that regard.

First point second. You need to buy lots of quick-setting cement, and then take the 'dumpee' by surprise with a blunt instrument while he or she is asleep. Be sure to get them with the first strike, and they'll never know a thing about it, resulting in a pain-free break-up for them, with the added bonuses for you of: (i) being able to explore your necrophile tendencies for a while; (ii) being certain that he or she will never come back to mess up your future relationships; and (iii) a lovely new patio or other exterior or interior feature under which you have buried their remains, thereby using the quick-setting cement referred to earlier (n.b. jaccuzis are great in this regard). You might need to keep changing address and country each time you take this solution, but travel broadens the mind. :smile:

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

"------, I really care about you. We've had some good times. I can't see you anymore".
Boom. Cut the bullshit and the hemming and hawing "to spare their feelings". It only makes it worse. Yes, having sex with someone else is a widely used albeit dreadful tactic. The best way to keep your self-respect and let the other person have some dignity is to do it quick and clean.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

OK, second point first. I left the woman I had been seeing for 6 months so that I could be with her other boyfriend, so I'm guessing I'm not an ideal rôle model in that regard.
:smile:

Alex, you slut.

 

[davidjh7]

Anyone have any ideas? I mean..if you care for the person and you don't want to hurt their feelings, there has to be a way to minimize the upset reaction.
I imagine everyone on the forum has had to break up at least once, and for those of you that came to terms with your homosexuality while you were dating a member of the opposite sex, there has to have been some very akward moments.
I know the worst way to do it is to sleep with someone, but I was thinking about it the other day because my best friend wants to break up with his gf, and I couldn't come up with anything. I turn to the wisdom of the group.
Help Oh WISE Group! :biggrin1:

Ok--for a change, I'm going to post a serious answer, because it is a serious subject. Both people are going to get hurt---the dumpee is goingto get hurt, and be angirier, than the dumper--who will feel guilt and pain for hurting someone they once cared about, or loved, and may even still care about and love, but can't be with anymore. All that can really be done is not to prolong it. Do it quick, do it honestly, and do it with the least amount of anger, and the most compassion you can. Then, you both go through the pain, and eventually move beyond it to the next relationship. The human condition, and the way humans deal with it, really sucks, but it is the only one we have learned yet. My two farthings worth.

 

[D_alex8]

Alex, you slut.

Tsk, it was a very beautiful first year at university, actually, of which I have nothing but the fondest memories.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Tsk, it was a very beautiful first year at university, actually, of which I have nothing but the fondest memories.

He must have been hot!

 

[windtalkerways]

Daivid gave a lovely serious answer.

I would suggest hiring the HOTTEST
UPS guy in the stable and sending
him over to personally deliver the
message.

 

[ChuckRich]

As Homer Simpson said all it takes is six simple words.

I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

As Homer Simpson said all it takes is six simple words.

I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

I think that's my new sig line.

 

[Chuck64]

A good friend of mine once commented "When your boyfriend tells you to break up with your girlfriend, it tends to be a formative experience." Is that what's going on here?

Either way, David and Sorcerer both have good advice. I can only add that you should stay as far away from "his breakup" as you can for a reasonable period of time. Don't give him advice. Don't flirt with him. Don't be his next relationship. Don't give her any excuse to blame the break-up on you.

 

[DirtyJ018]

Yeah, no one wants to do it, but quick and gentle is best. She should still respect him at least for being forthright in handling the matter (I know I always did when it happened to me).

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Oh yeah...Chuck's right...don't facilitate his breakup to pave your own way. It's not only considered bad form but all parties involved will never, ever trust you again.

 

[jeff black]

Oh yeah...Chuck's right...don't facilitate his breakup to pave your own way. It's not only considered bad form but all parties involved will never, ever trust you again.

No that's a bad idea... He is my best friend, I wouldn't mess around with him. I just figured that the forum needed a question like this.. I don't think anyone really knows the best way to break up. He ended up doing it this morning and so far there has been no shit hitting the fan. :biggrin1:

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

Bitches seriously disappoint you every time. Keep your game cold and your heart colder. Tear away when people try to hug you. At the slightest tinge of emotion toward a bitch share her with the dirtiest and most disease-stricken of your associates. Love is the new cancer.

 

[Altairion]

Alex, you slut.

I agree.


My suggestion...singing telegram. btw....has anyone ever seen the movie Clue?

 

[Matthew]

an ideal rôle model in that regard.

10 extra points for the circumflex.

 

[invisibleman]

I think that you should talk about breakups when you first meet in relationships. Discuss how each other would like break ups handled. Breakups should be honest. If you aren't into that person, stay the fuck away from them and you tell them to do the same for you. Keeping them on a leash (issuing ultimatums and "maybe ifs") isn't nice. Being nice to them isn't truthful. You are supposed to make them hate you to point of not ever wanting to see you again.

My ex did the exact thing to me. He abruptly broke up with me. He was brutally honest with breaking up with me. He then proceeded to treat me like I didn't exist. Then, he did some cruel things that made me fall out of love with him totally. He knows that it is beneficial that he NOT ever contact me again.

That really put the perspective icing on the love and long-term relationship cake. The heart wants what it wants. Human beings evolve. Relationships last as long as it lasts.