Better to have loved than never loved at all?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Gabriel, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    So I started dating this guy back in February, but he's an exchange student for only one semester, meaning he leaves July 31st. I knew this ahead of time, and I'm wondering if maybe that was the right thing to do. According to Wordsworth it is, but he's dead; any modern-day advice?
     
  2. viking1

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    I'd say Wordsworth was probably right. That's the way I would feel about it.
    However, I really can't say as I have never loved. I can only see one side of a two sided situation.
     
  3. crescendo69

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    Love is not convenient always; it just happens to us. Whether we decide to overcome obstacles to build on it can be a painful decision. Sometimes we have a feeling of having some personal "destiny" to fulfill, thus postponing or discarding certain possible relationships. But I believe that we don't have just one chance at love, but many. I trust your relationship with this person brings you both rewards regardless of its outcome.
     
  4. Naked_Mole_Rat

    Naked_Mole_Rat New Member

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    In my experience it is certainly better to have loved and lost. The best way to look at the problem is in the alternative. If you had not started the relationship you would have missed out on all the good times and would be regretting it. Loss due to action is always better than loss due to hesitation in my opinion.
     
  5. Ethyl

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    Absolutely. I learn more and love more deeply with each relationship. I can't imagine my life without having loved at all or loving only once and never again.
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I like love. Heck, I love love. :love:

    I would gladly take 2 weeks of crazy, intense, mad passionate love with the person I care for more than many things of this world. To miss the chance to be with someone for a short period of time, just because there is a risk that it could be over at some point? Nonsense.

    Take the love, you will remember it.
     
  7. smoothrnb

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    I agree with Naked_Mole_Rat. Life without love is incomplete. It is not the length of love that counts, it is the depth of love that does. Cherish the time you have with this man. You will not regret it!
     
  8. chicagosam

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    It's hard to face the possibility of saying goodbye to someone that you have grown to love. Love is such a great state to be in. When you do part&#8212;for whatever reason&#8212;the love they gave you, and the love that you have given them, stays with each other forever. They remain a part of you, and you, them. Wordsworth was right: "Better to have loved than never loved at all." Enjoy the time you still have together. I wish both of you great happiness and love.
     
  9. salvatruco

    salvatruco Member

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    Love is interesting. I actually like to read books of lost loves or love after I fall in love. Better to have loved than never loved at all. A couple I could recommend are

    The Blue-Eyed Monster Dragged Me Into Love by Martinez
    Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Garcia Marquez
    Hidden Music by Rumi
     
  10. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    Go for it,Gabriel. A life without love is like a cake without icing: dull (and incomplete).

    I would've given you more advice, but you've got some good advice already.
     
  11. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    Unless, he turns out to be an axe murderer, or something of the sort, you are better off having gone through it. It is as much learning about ourselves as it is learning about the other person. As such, you are probably better off having gone through it. I still have a place in my heart for all my loves, even little spots for the ones that ended poorly.
     
  12. yhtang

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    I am in full agreement with Naked Mole Rat.

    I have loved and lost, and I have also regretted never having made the first move - so I lost without ever having loved.

    To this day, I try to remember the good times I had with those I had loved and lost. As for those I had lost without ever having loved, I try not to wallow too much in my regrets.

    In the movie, the Thirteenth Warrior, just before the final battle scene, Antonio Banderas' character said a prayer that goes

    ".
    ...For all we ought to have thought, but have not thought. All we ought to have said, but have not said. All we ought to have done but have not done. I pray thee, God, for forgiveness."

    This "prayer" most aptly voices my lost opportunities.
     
  13. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Don't think the advice has changed much! I would say it's much better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
     
  14. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Why does that make me sad???
     
  15. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have shirred an egg.
     
  16. chavous

    chavous New Member

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    At The End Of Your Life If You Can Say You Have Truly Loved Then All Is Ok Because You Also Lived......i Have Love Deeply 3 Times.
     
  17. No_Strings

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    Any reason you capitalized every word bar 'I' ? Thank you for the chuckle sir :tongue:
     
  18. Gabriel

    Gabriel Member

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    Heeey, thanks a ton guys. Seriously, this makes me feel a lot better. I have a best friend named Amy (she's a little bitter from her last relationship with a Russian guy...) who is making me look at everything from a very realistic, modernistic, anti-romantic point of view, so I just wanted to make sure I wasn't falling too fast. I've always 'mocked' the people who've dated for a month and profess love for one another, which is one reason I've never thought of actually telling him I loved him. Guess the clock's a-tickin'.

    Anyway, thanks guys, it really does help when people express their positive opinions and experiences.
     
  19. nudeyorker

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    One thing to consider...You never know where life will take the two of you...maybe you will wind up together again.
     
  20. SoFla8

    SoFla8 New Member

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    I don't know...I've loved once and it ended so painfully that I have rejected every opportunity since. I was young, dumb and I obviously didnt get it right then...I just dont want that pain again. Ever.

    After a few years I didnt miss the love, sex, or any of it. I know it sounds bad, but I'm used to being alone. I am sometimes jealous of couples and what they have, but I cant see it being worth all that hurt and misery.
     
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