BF and me??? Can someone help me about our relationship?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by oceanruler, Dec 25, 2007.

  1. oceanruler

    oceanruler New Member

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    I have been to a new church for a year and got to know a guy who is now my best friend. We did have a lot of fun. At first I just see him as a normal friend, but one time, He, I and the youth group in our church went skiing and that night we slept together in a room (there is nothing happened). After that event, everyone usually make fun of us about gay joke. And I and him usually chat and talking about gay joke too. I feel I like him so much and want to be with him. Last summer i went to GA for school there, and now he comes back, and my feeling is exploding again. But bc of the gay joke that people regularly make to us, we seem to keep a gap between each other. Although I want to stand next to him, sit next to him, talk to him, but I dare not and pretend to ignore him, but actually i watch every of his action, everything he did. Although he seems so straight but i think i feel something that he may like me too, but he kinda indifferent to me.
    Can someone help me solve my problem. Please give me some advice. Should I keep trying to creat a relationship with him, or should I give up? And how can I do it, how can I know he has a crush on me too?
     
  2. davidjh7

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    Having a crush on a straight, or perceived straight friend, is a very tough thing. IF you feel you have to see this through, or cause yourself regrets, be very careful First, despite the gay jokes, you have to find out for sure how he really feels about gay people, which means letting him know you are ok with gay people yourself---it is a risk, If he is ok with gay people, TRULY ok, then you can start dropping hints--careful ones, and see if he picks up on them. YOu have to be careful, respectful and subtle, even though it makes the task more difficult---anything else can be too risky, and lead to some ugly scenes. Tale it slolwy and carefully, and if you find he really DOES have a problem with gay people, drop it---just acknowledge it wasn't to be, and do your best to move on. That's the best advice I can give.
     
  3. oceanruler

    oceanruler New Member

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    thank you so much davidjh7
     
  4. davidjh7

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    I wish you luck, and hope it works out. But even if it doesn't, remember that it just means that there is a better love waiting for you in the future.:smile:
     
  5. oceanruler

    oceanruler New Member

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    i really want to talk with you more davidjh7. how old r u? is your name david?
     
  6. davidjh7

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    Yes, my name really IS David. I am 46, 47 next April. If you want to talk more,f eel free to PM me, and we can talk in the chat or something. If I am too old for you to feel comfortable talking with, that's fine, too. I wish you the best
     
  7. Kimahri

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    Interesting thread. I've been in that situation. I'm gay though, so I suppose the jokes would have some basis in fact. You've always got to be careful with guys that you aren't sure of their orientation. I think having a heart to heart is kind of a good idea. Gets things out there and gain an understanding real quick. It's best you do this early because if he has issues like davidjh7 says, it's going to hurt more as things go along.
     
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