BF won't give oral... thoughts?

ConstantComment

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I think you're in a tough position because you may be wondering if something is "wrong" with you and that's why he won't pleasure you orally......and we all seem to opt for "what's wrong with me?" when we deflect the real problem....which in this case may be he A. Does not like it B. Does not really know how to do it C. Has some sexual abuse in his past that reminds him of something very negative regarding his doing it D. He's selfish and it's not about your pleasure at all E. Considers it beneath him F. Would rather suck a cock than eat a pussy G. Does not know what he's missing and what he's causing you to miss H. Has to do it OR will ONLY do it with somebody he's in love with I. Is waiting to do it ONLY with his wife when he gets married (some virginal thing in his head)


Anyway....you get the point....to many variables, but I don't think withholding head from him will stimulate him into eating you......and from my experience if my partner...either a guy or a gal won't suck my dick....it SURE won't stop me from enjoying what I get off on....and that's using my mouth on their sexual organs and orffices....

It actually did. I would turn him down for sex a few times. Then say yes, then he would go down on me a few times. Then stop. Then I would turn him down.....lather, rinse repeat.

My guess is that he was in denial about his own sexuality; hoped that he could keep a girlfriend for public display and to satisfy his own sexual needs without being open about the arrangement he was looking for. But if that was the plan, I would not have agreed to it and he would have to hope that there was someone who met his standards who would.

I don't understand how so many people believe that open honest dialogue (if indeed it does exist) can solve every problem.
 

yoursgetsmine

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I understand that withholding can get a positive reaction sometimes....but the key is and always will be to realize that a lot of sexual pleasure is derived from pleasuring your partner.....and not just receiving your pleasure from your partner. So if one party likes oral performed on them or likes performing oral on the other partner and one of the partners blocks that or refuses that...well it can ruin a great time or even a relationship.

I've had a few girls not like me going down on them, and after some discussion it was usually about they couldn't imagine doing it to a girl, so they couldn't understand why I enjoyed doing it so much to them.....or it was a hang up on past transgressions or abuse when they were younger.

For a guy, he's got a "boy's" mentality about sex when you think it's all about your pleasure....and you grow into a "man's" mentality about sex when you realize it's about your partner's pleasure.........and then the ultimate result is usually both of you being pleasured.
 
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InsaneJester

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I don't know what it would take to "expand his palate," but I would make sure I was squeaky clean and neatly trimmed. Prep it like a shiny used car at the front of the lot. I wouldn't paint big numbers with shoe polish, though. That's just going overboard. But if I would I'd probably put '69 or bust.'

Lol

Interestingly I have a very good female friend with a similar but different situation. When they first got together her bf went to do oral on her and she stopped him; but she'll do oral on him. She finds them both "icky" but she does bjs for him. I told her she's crazy but she said she can't kiss him after he's been down on her.
 

Guy-jin

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I don't understand how so many people believe that open honest dialogue (if indeed it does exist) can solve every problem.
It does exist and it is almost always the best true solution to problems.

The alternative is usually games like what you're suggesting. Withhold blow jobs until he gives you cunnilingus. Is that fun?

Why go through such silly games rather than having some open, honest, kind, loving conversations and working on your problems?

That sounds like an interesting new thread topic.
Haha, perhaps it is. Basically, she has been my friend for years and we've always been close. We've gotten even closer over the past year since I moved closer to her. But despite talking intimately about everything, emotional, sexual, whatever, I do not find myself attracted to her as anything beyond a friend, and I think she feels the same.

Not to say that she's unattractive--to the contrary, she's very pretty with an amazing body. If we were both single, I'm sure we could be friends with benefits without any problems--we've basically seen each other naked, etc. without any problems.

You know what it may be? We're both only-children and we were friends when since our early teens. So we're kind of like family, I guess? But without the natural imprinting you'd get from siblings or cousins that would make sex completely off limits. :tongue:

You've already offered? What a good friend. :tongue:

We should discuss this in more detail. :smile:

I know, right?! Then again, she claims she gives the greatest blowjobs ever, so I'd probably require one of those in return for my silver-tongued cunnilingus of legend.

Totally open to be judge of the "greatest blowjobs ever" competition, by the way. Hint hint.
 

Guy-jin

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molotovmuffin

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It does exist and it is almost always the best true solution to problems.

The alternative is usually games like what you're suggesting. Withhold blow jobs until he gives you cunnilingus. Is that fun?

Why go through such silly games rather than having some open, honest, kind, loving conversations and working on your problems?

In my case, it involved no games. It was a plain and simple question, "How would you like no more bj or hand jobs?" because that is what he was telling me. No cunnilingus, period.
 

Guy-jin

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In my case, it involved no games. It was a plain and simple question, "How would you like no more bj or hand jobs?" because that is what he was telling me. No cunnilingus, period.

Good for you on doing exactly what I just said people ought to do then. :smile: