Bi/gays being judged as inferior males

[poultrygeist]

Recently a female who knows I'm bi said she thought I'm not quite a "real man" because of my being bisexual. The conversation was basically dinner talk about how it seems that some men these days don't act like gentlemen towards women in general. So the convo goes:

Me: "Maybe times are changing but I think real men treat women with respect and courtesy. "
Her: "There are definitely real men still out there and you are a real man....well....except for....that....aspect of you."
Me: "What aspect of me?"
Her: "You know...the whole "you like sucking cock" thing (waves her hand in a feminine gesture). "

Anyone else experience anything like this?

 

[poultrygeist]

Yeah I was pretty pissed too.
I pretty much said "fuck this shit" and left the table and conversation.

 

[Hoss]

Yeah I was pretty pissed too.
I pretty much said "fuck this shit" and left the table and conversation.

which is probably the only way to handle it with someone as ignorant as she clearly is.

 

[MarkGerard]

That's why I have rarely shared this about myself. Women can be openly bisexual at bars, on the beach, in movies, and be applauded for it. They certainly don't stop being "women." I recently asked a much younger woman how she felt about bisexual men. It's an online thing and we clearly were never going to meet in person. Her reply was, basically, "I dunno, I've never been with a bi man so I don't know. I guess I see them just like anyone else." That's the best I'd hope for.

At least it wasn't an automatic thumbs down. But it wasn't a "what's the big deal?" either. Even the "I see them just like anyone else" could be interpreted in a slightly negative way. Is it that she doesn't doesn't judge them any differently than "anyone else," or that she doesn't view bi men any differently than how others in our culture see them.

A woman can give the bi thing the "old college try" and nothing more is thought of it. But as a man once said to me, once you're sucked a cock, you're a cocksucker for life. Crazy.

 

[977581]

It's only what society is trying to tell us... women thinks that a man that care for them and act like a doormat, have sensibility and like what they like (so an other woman) is the pefection, then if they discover that this man exist only because it's gay (maybe not all type of gay... those who are more feminine than the others... or not... who knows) it's an inferior being...
And all the straight men that love thing up their ass are less men that all the gay that are top only? It's more feminine the anal stimulation or sucking a cock? Using a jockstrap with the wife is not being less male? For being a male you have to smell bad, being rude, beat your wife? Bah...

 

[hypolimnas]

I think people who want approval from others probably do feel inferior in some way

 

[poultrygeist]

Wanting approval and being judged are not the same thing. That's like saying sexism or racism doesn't exist except in the mind of the one on the receiving end of it.

 

[BIGBULL29]

Wanting approval and being judged are not the same thing. That's like saying sexism or racism doesn't exist except in the mind of the one on the receiving end of it.

Hi, bud!

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you.

It hurts when someone questions your maleness. Women are not challenged on their femininity the way men are on their masculinity (a big discussion on this is possible). Do bear in mind, though, that women are taught from birth that they are to be desired sexually by men. It offends them at times when men aren't chasing the female. That said, your female friends showed little manners and respect for acting in the way she did. We don't live in Cave Days anymore.

Would she still be a real woman if she were to like to eat pussy?

From your pics, you are ALL BOY, bro.

Take care and don't let comments like this doubt yourself, no matter how much you are tempted to do so. She is the one with the problem - not you!

 

[poultrygeist]

Thanks for words of encouragement, bigbull29. Yeah, I pretty much just walked away and haven't had or wanted much to do with her since then. I'm not mad at her, and yeah it stung pretty hard, but in the end I guess I would just rather not hang out with people who can justify thinking that way.

 

[hvdude]

I also think there is a level of fear involved on her part. Bisexuality is confusing to a lot of people "How can you like BOTH?!" It's a fear of what we don't understand or aren't familiar with. Hang out with people who understand you and appreciate you for who you are - all of you!

 

[AdamHenry]

Two words that comes to mind when dealing with society as a whole...........Fuck Them!

 

[Phil Ayesho]

hmmm... i dunno. There's different kinds of bi.
I now of guys who are "bi" but that is strictly limited to them being willing to penetrate a man like they penetrate women.

That is, they will fuck a guy's face, and fuck a guy's ass-- but they are definitely the Fuck-ER.
And I know of "bi" guys who are essentially "catchers" - that is, they will have sex with men, but they are only interested in GETTING the cock, not giving it.

And then there's those who top and bottom.

Is each type "bi" in the same way? or is there a difference that might be perceived by others as being more or less masculine?

Being one of the guys who is only interested in catching ( with another guy ),- I can say that there is a certain element of emasculation in it that is exciting and part of the draw. The guy topping me would likely treat me as being "less" masculine .

When my woman takes her strap on to me, she is calling me her 'bitch'... so, again, a certain emasculation... a definitive desire by her to dominate and by me to be dominated...

Perhaps a lot of people's impressions that being "bi" is less 'manly' is connected to the presence of this dynamic in a lot of bisexual males.
Taking dick being the "non-male" role in a Fucker-fuckee scenario.

But then... i don't WANT it to be all equality and shit.

To me, being bisexual means that I can Fuck like a man, and Get fucked like a bitch.
And If I'm taking it in the ass its because I Want to be the bitch.