Bi-Guys - How Open are you about your orientation

novice_btm

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P.S. While touted as "Super straight stud Julian" on his own website, he appeared in 2-3 bi films when he started, although, the only mention of him in them, that I can remember, that has him interacting with another man, was one where he got head from a guy, while in a 3-way with a woman.
 

novice_btm

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...I'm talking about straight porn. The men would always do 3-ways and never touch each other, but if it were 2 women and a guy, the women would...
If two people of the same sex are touching, technically, it should be listed as "bi". If that rule only applies to men, then your whole statement, about the men never touching, makes no sense.
 

B_Italian1

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If two people of the same sex are touching, technically, it should be listed as "bi". If that rule only applies to men, then your whole statement, about the men never touching, makes no sense.

Straight porn has always had women touching each other but not men, and they have never called it bi porn. I don't work in the industry or control it, but you know it's true. Marilyn Chambers, Ginger Lynn, Nina Hartley and Traci Lords always had sex with other women, but the movies they were in were classified as straight porn. And it's probably still like that today but the names have changed.

It's always been like that, Novice. You're trying to get me on a technicality, but it's not me; it's the porn industry that labels them that way. Since just about every straight porn flick has the women having sex, according to you, they should all be classified as "bi porn". That will never happen.
 

cklover

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Peter North being touched but another guy....lol....PETER NORTH
For chrissakes, Indy, I remember how desperately I hung on to women in my earlier life...denying my real lust for other men...hoping to hide the fact that I was GAY. But when I actually fell in love with another man, I knew there was no way I was BI. I get it when it comes to gay men in their late teens and early 20's, but middle-aged?

Peter North had a great cock, but his fantastic ASS and his enjoyment of being fucked was well documented in the 80's. The fact that he can get it up and fuck anything alive demonstrates his intense sexuality, but NO hetero man loves being fucked like Peter. All this BI denial just pisses me off now and then, thanks for letting me rant!:rolleyes:
 

hagsfrank

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I've never really considered myself bi as I've never done anything with another man. I'm not saying I would rule it out, I just haven't had the opportunity. If anyone were to ask what my orientation were I would probably say straight.

to the cock...
 
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I will play "devil's advocate" here (I do that a lot! :biggrin1: )
It sounds like you were attracted to him and obviously he to you.
I believe the "mixed signal" in this case was you not being totally open and honest in response to his question. Instead of answering "No," perhaps "Bi" would have produced a better response. BTW, I take it that although you and your buds had several good laughs about it that you went home alone?

I know you were playing "devil's advocate", so this post isn't really for you in particular. :biggrin1:

Most people assume if you aren't straight, then you are gay, and vice versa... which is pretty sad. I've met several guys online and right off (if they haven't seen a photo of me) ask if I am white. When I say no, they automatically assume and tell me that I'm black.

I am not sure why a lot of people have that "if you aren't this, then you are that" mentality. I just know that there is a lot of prejudice towards bisexuals in the gay and straight "communities".
 

Primal_Savage

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Returning to the subject of my two married buddies. Yes, based on my religious upbring, I realize that when we have a boys night out, that what they're doing is deceitful, cheating and morally wrong. I'm not trying to justify it, but it seems that the # of bi's involved in affairs probably pales to the # of str8 married people committing adultry. How can I look at their wives, knowing what I do? Or even respect these guys. As I've stated before, I have enough baggage in my life which prevents my judging others. My friendship/sex with these guys goes back a number of years prior to them getting married, at which point their wives came into my other bud's and my lives. Again, perhaps, I'm making bad choices, but next to family, my closest friends come first. Maybe if the two of them were wife-beaters, poor-providers, alcoholics or burdened with other character flaws it would be easier to abandon their friendship.
 

Hellboy0

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Returning to the subject of my two married buddies. Yes, based on my religious upbring, I realize that when we have a boys night out, that what they're doing is deceitful, cheating and morally wrong. I'm not trying to justify it, but it seems that the # of bi's involved in affairs probably pales to the # of str8 married people committing adultry. How can I look at their wives, knowing what I do? Or even respect these guys. As I've stated before, I have enough baggage in my life which prevents my judging others. My friendship/sex with these guys goes back a number of years prior to them getting married, at which point their wives came into my other bud's and my lives. Again, perhaps, I'm making bad choices, but next to family, my closest friends come first. Maybe if the two of them were wife-beaters, poor-providers, alcoholics or burdened with other character flaws it would be easier to abandon their friendship.

I for one do NOT think you are doing anything 'morally' wrong. That's gotta be decided by you anyway and as I've said before, you don't have to justify your relationships to anyone. Particularly us.

It sounds like you and your friends have quite a long history, which includes, among many other things, some sexual exploration. Not everyone is going to understand that and you are right to keep your cards close to your chest.
There is no requirement that you tell every fucking person in your life everything about you and yours, nor would it be productive. That's not honesty, it's immaturity. I suppose if your friends began to treat their wives, partners, girlfriends badly because of your times together, that would be different. But it sounds like you a case of 'what happens on tour, stays on tour' and there is no harm in that.

Dude, you are a passionate, hot, intelligent man. Do what you want to and be safe, but as long as you aren't trying to hurt anyone (unless they like a bit of that:tongue:), then keep it up. You are very lucky to have such close friends, especially when so many of the bi-guys here are saying how misunderstood they are.

Just let me know when you got an opening in your club...
 

WellHung83

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I'm quite open about my bi sexuality to those who ask, and the funny thing is that when I tell my female friends I am bi the first thing they ask is " Can we see you kiss a guy ? " and I ask " Why's that ?" and they'd be all giggling and bashful before one of them pipes up and says " BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING HOT DAMN IT !" LOL
 

simcha

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I hate that there are gay men who do not accept that there are bisexual men out there. It drives me crazy. Also I really hate that there are gay men who won't date bisexual men because they think that the bisexual men will cheat on them.

Don't we gay men know that kind of prejudice ourselves? How many times have we been told that we made a choice to be gay? How many times have you been told that all you need to do is find the right woman? And how many times do you hear people talk about we gay men as "promiscuous?"

I have dated truly bisexual men. I know many bisexual men who are not out. I think it is harder at this time for bisexual men because not only does this heterosexist society discriminate against them, but many men in the gay community discriminate against them.

It's time that people just grew up!
 

SandraSmithCarver

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I'm quite open about my bi sexuality to those who ask, and the funny thing is that when I tell my female friends I am bi the first thing they ask is " Can we see you kiss a guy ? " and I ask " Why's that ?" and they'd be all giggling and bashful before one of them pipes up and says " BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING HOT DAMN IT !" LOL


i think its hot!
but, I do think, if your married, the wife needs to know, it you dont have honestly, you dont have a relationship
 

novice_btm

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...You're trying to get me on a technicality...
No, the only thing I'm trying to "get" is for you to admit that this:
Bi women are more accepted because the big male fantasy is having a 3-way with two women. Porn plays a big part of that...
...is wrong. If "porn" is what's playing such "a big part" in our fantasies, then there are tons of flavours of porn out there, and if porn is all it takes to create fantasies in our heads, then we'd be envisioning straight, bi, gay, and all sorts of scenes. Yes, many men love seeing two women together, it's hot, but it has nothing to do with porn. Porn simply responds to that interest. There are many well-documented reasons driving men's interest in seeing two women together, but they're in no way driven by porn. Porn is driven by our interests.

Now let's get back on topic, and talk about something that you know. Tell us how open you are about your bisexual orientation.
 

chavous

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I agree with---- the person is usually who I am attracted to but I have known since before I ever heard a label that I prefer cock....I like the way it looks,smells,taste,feels....and how a guys face looks when I am polishing his knob!
 

dwtrlp

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In another thread that I started, Italian made a comment about how he was surprised about my involvement a function that might seem to be exclusively gay. As I've said before, my best buddies and I are closeted and prefer to remain that way because of jobs and wifes. BTW, I'm not married. That doesn't mean, however, that if we're out of town together we necessarily keep things under wraps. If we go to Miami, the Keys, or NOLA, we generally hit most of the gay dance clubs, gay-friendly food places, etc. A couple of years ago, four of us even went on a gay cruise. Booking it out of Miami we felt rather safe. I often wonder how many other bi's are closeted as opposed to those that are out. At this point, especially since I hope that I'm never outed, what does one achieve from being out/open?


I lived in Key West for awhile and spent a good bit of time at the Island House as a day visitor with my partner. It was not uncommon to see a group of guys of vacation having a "gay ole time". In fact, we met a couple of men, both married who did it annually together. And I totally understand "bi" men needing to get it out of their system every now and then if they intend to stay in a straight relationship, even if it is wrong or immoral. I played that game for more years than I care to remember (I'm now divorced and have been in a gay partnership for over eleven years). My own experience was that I used the term bi to mask or hide behind the fact that I was lying to myself. But, I do believe that there are persons who truely love sex with either gender. If you've made a committment to a straight marriage before you've come to terms with who you really are, and you have children (I even know someone who is a grandfather!), you have no choice but to be closeted about it. Very few people have the luxury of being totally honest in today's society. But, I also know this from personal experience. If you are bi and married to a woman and deny yourself, you will be unhappy inside and deep down at the core of your being. These buddies may be saving their marriages by having some away time with "the guys". I never thought of being with another man while I was married as "cheating" (especially when it was with another married guy); we were just getting off together and there was never any emotional attachment. But, it would have been devasting to so many lives had it been known. When, my job took me out of state and the marriage didn't survive because of distance, I was able to really look at what I wanted and start over with new friends and coworkers that never knew that other person. It was a lot easier to be out as gay. I would have never been out as bi. As someone else has said, society can't handle that concept.
 

smudgey

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I don't think I would/could ever do anything with another guy (too shy and unsure about my feelings), even though I consider myself to be bisexual. And that being the case, I don't feel the need to be open about it at all (except on here where I can appreciate a good penis lol)