Bi guys that are not emotionally attracted to men; why is that?

[NIMBUS]

For me, I don't find men attractive at all. I don't like mens bodies have zero interest in them sexually other than a a big dick. Could suck a big dick but can't even think about kissing a man or their body just no sexual attraction there. Maybe it's because dicks have been over sexualised in porn? Who knows

I think that I know exactly what you mean. I have no interest in an emotional relationship with another guy, nor of a sexual one, other than our mutual interest/curiosity in each other's penis.

I'm entirely comfortable going for a beer with a mate (or a coffee), watching sport or sitting around at home together chatting. I'm quite comfortable if we both get our cocks out and sit around wanking in front of each other, sizing each other up or having a feel of each other's tool. I would be happy if a mate wanted to wrap his mouth around my cock or jerk me off and, if it felt right, I might reciprocate. Anything else, just not interested.

 

[933295]

I've answered similar questions like this in the past. I suppose there are bi men who are primarily interested in the sexual aspect of being with another man; for example just sucking his dick or getting fucked or whatever with no emotion. I've heard many guys say that they prefer casual sex with people because it is easier. My experience is this: it's difficult for me to meet a guy, bring him home and just suck his dick or have him suck mine, and then send him on his way. First if I am attracted to some guy, then I'd want to hang out with him, find about his life, share interests etc. At that point if both of us are feeling some emotional connection with each other, we may discuss the possible of making love. I say making love because if I don't love a person, it's difficult for me to be intimate with him (or her). I like to make out, feel a person's body close to mine, cuddle and look in each other's eyes. It feels weird to me to get my dick sucked by a stranger or even a casual friend. I obviously think that guys can fall in love with each other. On the other hand, since I'm a member on LPSG, I am aroused by big dicks to look at,

 

[CaptureTheMoment]

I generally believe the reason why (bi) guys don't want to have a romantic relationship with another men is simply because of the social stigma attached to it. I think it's still perceived as strange to feel emotionally attached to another man romantically because it's seen as weak to expose yourself to another men like that. Then there's the whole straight passing privilege.
Personally, I used to think the same way of men, only having sex with them and nothing else, however, as I've gotten older I came to appreciate the simplicity with being in a relationship with a man. With them, in my honest opinion, it's way much easier.

Of course, in the end it's up to you but I would suggest for everyone to give it a try and find it out.

 

[Mawww4]

Im married and in love tih women for 90% of my life, but 1-2x times i get emotions for man bcz we been together every day on phone, video calls, going out together.... but when I have only sex with guys, one night stand ...there is only passion and that is it

 

[PaddyMoore91]

I dont think gay guys should date bisexual guys. It always ends in tears...

If you are dating a bi guy do you think that this guy is gonna be faithful to you and not cheat on you with other woman? Talking from experience...why should we be a milestone in some str8/bi life? I mean hear me out... Does the gay guys feelings be take in to consideration? If the bi guy realises that he is not maybe into emotional and he leaves you and moves on...what about you? You are hurt and feel used but the narrative will be how the bi guy discovered his sexuality... Also if you are dating a bi guy and he cheats on you with a woman it feels 10x more painful than if he cheated on you with another guy... atleast if its with a guy than i can compete with that guy but if its a girl how do i compete with that?


Anyway i am in the minority... but remember this you will only feel like this until it happens to you....

 

[Serenatee]

I dont think gay guys should date bisexual guys. It always ends in tears...

If you are dating a bi guy do you think that this guy is gonna be faithful to you and not cheat on you with other woman? Talking from experience...why should we be a milestone in some str8/bi life? I mean hear me out... Does the gay guys feelings be take in to consideration? If the bi guy realises that he is not maybe into emotional and he leaves you and moves on...what about you? You are hurt and feel used but the narrative will be how the bi guy discovered his sexuality... Also if you are dating a bi guy and he cheats on you with a woman it feels 10x more painful than if he cheated on you with another guy... atleast if its with a guy than i can compete with that guy but if its a girl how do i compete with that?


Anyway i am in the minority... but remember this you will only feel like this until it happens to you....

While I dont think thats entirely fair I do understand the feelings behind it. I've sworn off dating/hooking up with bisexual guys now because of past experiences that were extremely hurtful but its not about them going back to a woman that upsets me. Its the idea of that Im just a stepping stone, Im fun for now but Im not going to be a forever for them, despite explicitly stating to them that thats what I want.

It feels so strange to have a guy talk mad talk and then show up, fuck me, blow and leave. Then again and again and they are so resistant to a relationship or really any type of romantic contact, but then 6 months down the line theres a selfie every other day with some big boobed bitch making out, Even the ones that are semi romantic dont see me as a forever, the bi guy I dated the longest literally told me when I asked about our life together said "Im gonna marry a woman and have kids with her and maybe Ill come see you on the side" like I was supposed to be happy with that?

My feminine energy seems to be what attracts them but wont make them stay and Im too feminine for gay guys (two guys have broken up with me because they say its like dating a chick with a dick) and Im just stuck in this other box not wanted by either side

 

[julianlex]

I dont think gay guys should date bisexual guys. It always ends in tears...

If you are dating a bi guy do you think that this guy is gonna be faithful to you and not cheat on you with other woman? Talking from experience...why should we be a milestone in some str8/bi life? I mean hear me out... Does the gay guys feelings be take in to consideration? If the bi guy realises that he is not maybe into emotional and he leaves you and moves on...what about you? You are hurt and feel used but the narrative will be how the bi guy discovered his sexuality... Also if you are dating a bi guy and he cheats on you with a woman it feels 10x more painful than if he cheated on you with another guy... atleast if its with a guy than i can compete with that guy but if its a girl how do i compete with that?


Anyway i am in the minority... but remember this you will only feel like this until it happens to you....

I kind of agree. I have nothing against bi men but it seems to be the norm for them to not be interested in any meaningful relationships with other men besides sex, that's why I usually ghost/ignore them.

A lot of bi men make themselves believe that they're incapable of forming a romantic connection with another man when in reality, they just have internalized homophobia.

 

[WilliamG]

I kind of agree. I have nothing against bi men but it seems to be the norm for them to not be interested in any meaningful relationships with other men besides sex, that's why I usually ghost/ignore them.

A lot of bi men make themselves believe that they're incapable of forming a romantic connection with another man when in reality, they just have internalized homophobia.

Possibly your life experiences give you these views. Not disagreeing... But, in my observations MOST bi guys are into the sexual act. They have a "romantic/love" relationship with women. That's how they're wired. Not at all homophobic. Hell, when we are out chasing women, lots of us had unromantic sex. We just enjoyed the act. And this was with women. I would bet there are a LOT of gay men that love to just "hit it and quit it". It's not anything internalized.

The one caveat I would make is as a bi-curious male, I would not go after a gay man for the reason you clearly stated. You are romantic with men. It is not fair to either party to date (have sex) in this situation. I've been approached online by several 100% gay men on various sites. I politely declined.

 

[933295]

While I dont think thats entirely fair I do understand the feelings behind it. I've sworn off dating/hooking up with bisexual guys now because of past experiences that were extremely hurtful but its not about them going back to a woman that upsets me. Its the idea of that Im just a stepping stone, Im fun for now but Im not going to be a forever for them, despite explicitly stating to them that thats what I want.

It feels so strange to have a guy talk mad talk and then show up, fuck me, blow and leave. Then again and again and they are so resistant to a relationship or really any type of romantic contact, but then 6 months down the line theres a selfie every other day with some big boobed bitch making out, Even the ones that are semi romantic dont see me as a forever, the bi guy I dated the longest literally told me when I asked about our life together said "Im gonna marry a woman and have kids with her and maybe Ill come see you on the side" like I was supposed to be happy with that?

My feminine energy seems to be what attracts them but wont make them stay and Im too feminine for gay guys (two guys have broken up with me because they say its like dating a chick with a dick) and Im just stuck in this other box not wanted by either side

The question to me is: are hetero-normative relationship styles the only ones. I've noticed that gay guys can have casual sexual encounters with other gay guys, but somehow it's not ok for bi guys to do the same thing.

 

[barbunz]

I think that it's the use "bi" that is the reason. I have 90% straight 10% bi in my profile but actually thats not right. I have no emotional attraction to other men other than a friendship. Very little physical attraction, and though I've not acted on it, the thought of sex, in one form or another, seem appealing or interesting, for lack of a better word. I think some of use use the word bi because there is really nothing else, that I'm aware of, that describes just wanting to have sex. Some of us just want sex. No commitment, no emotion, no attachment, and really no love. I know that sounds harsh but I think everyone wants a sexual outlet at times. Just the need for sex and nothing else. The "One night stand". Just my thoughts

 

[PaddyMoore91]

I think that it's the use "bi" that is the reason. I have 90% straight 10% bi in my profile but actually thats not right. I have no emotional attraction to other men other than a friendship. Very little physical attraction, and though I've not acted on it, the thought of sex, in one form or another, seem appealing or interesting, for lack of a better word. I think some of use use the word bi because there is really nothing else, that I'm aware of, that describes just wanting to have sex. Some of us just want sex. No commitment, no emotion, no attachment, and really no love. I know that sounds harsh but I think everyone wants a sexual outlet at times. Just the need for sex and nothing else. The "One night stand". Just my thoughts

Why dont you go for other bi guys? Why come for us gays ?

 

[barbunz]

If your responding to my post, I never said I went for gays. I dont know for sure anyone did. I may have missed that post. I was just saying that I think that some that call themselves bi do so because there is really no other way to say it. If you say your straight yet want to have same sex,sex your called bi or gay. The question was why do some bi not get emotionally attracted to other men. That was just my feeling about why.
If I was to act on it. I would prefer other married men who feel the same why. Straight, gay, or bi wouldn't matter. As long as they had the same feeling about it.

 

[PaddyMoore91]

If your responding to my post, I never said I went for gays. I dont know for sure anyone did. I may have missed that post. I was just saying that I think that some that call themselves bi do so because there is really no other way to say it. If you say your straight yet want to have same sex,sex your called bi or gay. The question was why do some bi not get emotionally attracted to other men. That was just my feeling about why.
If I was to act on it. I would prefer other married men who feel the same why. Straight, gay, or bi wouldn't matter. As long as they had the same feeling about it.

I dunno I think that this is so horrible. I have had very bad experiences with 2 bisexual guys... 1 doesn't matter and the other really hurt me, like broke my heart...

also I feel so bad for the wife and gfs... Imagine finding out that your partner is cheating on you with...

I remember a story on Vice and they where profiling bisexual men. The angle of the show was how bisexual men being with men was gonna make their straight relationships better in terms of gender roles and how men with men will make men with woman better. For a gay man when you get approached by a bisexual man on the DL. he will say anything for you to have sex with him. He will say what you want to hear but in the end he dont want you he wanna use you for some ass and some dick and when he is done...deuces....

 

[2304901]

There elements of sexuality:

Sexual Identity - what you label yourself as
Sexual Behaviour - what sexual activity you engage in
Sexual Orientation - what gender(s) you prefer to have relationships with.

All three don't flow on from one another. Just because someone labels themselves as one thing, doesn't mean their sexual behaviour is going to reflect that and who they choose to be in a relationship with may be totally different.

In my experience as a bisexual guy (I now abstain from sex with women due to political reasons) most men (regardless of sexual identity) who have problems with physical and emotional intimacy with other men have had unhealthy bonding and messages about male sexuality and friendships when they were growing up.

 

[bi2]

Possibly your life experiences give you these views. Not disagreeing... But, in my observations MOST bi guys are into the sexual act. They have a "romantic/love" relationship with women. That's how they're wired. Not at all homophobic. .

Enjoyed your post.

From my limited experience, Ive been with only a few guys, all of which have been much older and either been married/seperated. We always enjoyed our sexual times together, its simple, easy and convenient to hook up they enjoy topping, I enjoy bottoming. We have never had the desire or need for any emotional relationship we get that outlet from our female partners/girlfriends. If both male partners are happy with that arrangement and no upfront than its all fine.

 

[hvdude]

You are mistaking feminine energy with being effeminate - they are not the same. Every person, regardless of gender, possess masculine and feminine energy. The energy controls certain behaviors and drives that have nothing to do with being a man or a woman. There are many men who are attracted to other men. They don't know or understand why and are afraid of betraying the social mores and norms that are expected of them - i.e. labels. Do you ever notice how women are much more easily able to form deep connections with other women? Imagine if men were permitted to do the same. If we drop the "straight", "gay" "bi" rules, what might happen?

The answer to your question would be moot.

 

[bi2]

100% fine and acceptable if Bi guys are not emotionally attracted to men.

Nothing wrong in that what so ever.

This is a bi forum after all, no one should feel bad or feel they are in the wrong for feeling the way they do.

Imagine if you went on the Gay Forum as a Bi person and told Gay posters they are wrong!?

 

[hvdude]

100% fine and acceptable if Bi guys are not emotionally attracted to men.

Nothing wrong in that what so ever.

This is a bi forum after all, no one should feel bad or feel they are in the wrong for feeling the way they do.

Imagine if you went on the Gay Forum as a Bi person and told Gay posters they are wrong!?

DId I do that? If so, I apologize. That was completely not my intent.

 

[Cappy_Dick]

Humans are bisexual by nature. It has been said that only about 3% are wired totally straight and only about 3% are wired totally gay. That means that 94% are some level of bisexual, which is a very broad range. Some are curious about other cocks, but never act on it. Others only act on it in masturbatory fantasies, Some like to JO together, but would never touch each other. Some like to stroke each other, but don't want more than that. Some like to stroke and suck. Some like to fuck. But, straight leaning bi's aren't interested in men beyond the level of their bisexuality. Basically, only 100% bisexual men and gay leaning bisexuals are interested in men in a romantical sort of way.

Boys learn about cock at a young age. Back in the 70's, about half of boys had at least jerked off with another guy and with many it lead to more. I imagine the percentage is much higher now that porn is easily accessible. Boys look at porn. Cocks get hard and come out. Often leading to more. It's all good fun, until pussy is regularly available. Most grow out of it and go on to be what society expects and buries the fact that he enjoyed the guy fun as if it had never happened. Most men are some level of bi, but would never admit it..

 

[Capers]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

High IQ post right there!

The part that strikes me odd is that, as you said, in the 70's or perhaps in most peoples youth throughout the decades, these things happened. They felt, at the time, pretty natural... nothing nefarious. However, today we are not allowed to talk about it. It's against the rules on most online forums for said that reasons we all know. That being said, imagine a world where you could talk about your real life experiences openly and pass that information onto those coming behind us. Where would we be?

I think that pussy will become regularly available at some point regardless but sociological pressures would force most into toeing the line,
( The idiom meaning “to do what is expected” or “to follow the established rules” is correctly spelled “toe the line.” ... To toe the line means to be where you need to be, to act as you need to act, according to a pre-defined standard.). I see this blatant (completely lacking in subtlety; very obvious) bisexuality all the time and I live in a relatively small area, more than 50,000 but less that 100,000 people.

So much more to say on the subject but I always struggle to find the words... how I wish I were a writer, lol.

I apologize for the definitions but they are only for context of my thoughts.