Bi Married Guys Who Has Taken The Plunge

[deleted1338543]

My only advice is to not fool around on your spouse without knowledge/consent. I live in a deeply Evangelical part of Michigan -- literally Betsy DeVos's hometown.

Grindr now, and especially Craigslist before it took down the Personals section, were filled with a "the usual suspects" for a local culture like ours: Gay, bi or bi-curious men whose family situation absolutely brooked no dissent from the "marry young and pray daily" mindset. So a lot of these guys experimented on the down-low. Which was a problem given that they didn't engage with the LGBT community so they didn't really think in terms of sexual safety.

Some of these unwitting wives ended up with STIs. Which is a huge problem.

I'd advise anyone to follow one simple rule: If you can't be honest about what you're doing and why you're doing it, either don't do it, or change your circumstances to ensure that you can live honestly.

 

[loveblack69]

My only advice is to not fool around on your spouse without knowledge/consent. I live in a deeply Evangelical part of Michigan -- literally Betsy DeVos's hometown.

Grindr now, and especially Craigslist before it took down the Personals section, were filled with a "the usual suspects" for a local culture like ours: Gay, bi or bi-curious men whose family situation absolutely brooked no dissent from the "marry young and pray daily" mindset. So a lot of these guys experimented on the down-low. Which was a problem given that they didn't engage with the LGBT community so they didn't really think in terms of sexual safety.

Some of these unwitting wives ended up with STIs. Which is a huge problem.

I'd advise anyone to follow one simple rule: If you can't be honest about what you're doing and why you're doing it, either don't do it, or change your circumstances to ensure that you can live honestly.

Religion...really? Terrible advice I'm afraid, considering the horror, pain, persecution, that ALL religions have plagued our civilisation with since time began!!!

 

[deleted1338543]

Religion...really? Terrible advice I'm afraid, considering the horror, pain, persecution, that ALL religions have plagued our civilisation with since time began!!!

What's terrible about my advice? I'm not aware that I offered a faith-based bit of counsel here.

And I respect that some people don't partake in religion, but calling "all religions" a "plague" is both unnecessarily overdramatic for this thread as well as being a demonstrably inaccurate truth claim.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I would venture to say that almost all Bi men have taken the plunge; however, some many to be too ashamed of themselves to admit it, even here. Blame "American values", religion and social stigma for that.

 

[NautiRogue]

My only advice is to not fool around on your spouse without knowledge/consent. I live in a deeply Evangelical part of Michigan -- literally Betsy DeVos's hometown.

Grindr now, and especially Craigslist before it took down the Personals section, were filled with a "the usual suspects" for a local culture like ours: Gay, bi or bi-curious men whose family situation absolutely brooked no dissent from the "marry young and pray daily" mindset. So a lot of these guys experimented on the down-low. Which was a problem given that they didn't engage with the LGBT community so they didn't really think in terms of sexual safety.

Some of these unwitting wives ended up with STIs. Which is a huge problem.

I'd advise anyone to follow one simple rule: If you can't be honest about what you're doing and why you're doing it, either don't do it, or change your circumstances to ensure that you can live honestly.

I agree with you, JSL. The only comment I'd make is that maybe you should have said that you live in a very conservative and deeply Evangelical part of Michigan as opposed to only calling out the religious issue. Regardless, your comment regarding not playing without your SO's consent is absolutely right. My wife and I are both bi and we're in a consensually non-monogamous marriage. We play together with others as well as separately with fuckbuddies, but always with each other's permission and support.

Regardless of our conservative, judgmental, and biphobic/homophobic Indiana environment, our openness, honesty, trust, and communication has allowed us both to live our true lives with each other and within a very strong relationship.

 

[4552511]

I agree with you, JSL. The only comment I'd make is that maybe you should have said that you live in a very conservative and deeply Evangelical part of Michigan as opposed to only calling out the religious issue. Regardless, your comment regarding not playing without your SO's consent is absolutely right. My wife and I are both bi and we're in a consensually non-monogamous marriage. We play together with others as well as separately with fuckbuddies, but always with each other's permission and support.

Regardless of our conservative, judgmental, and biphobic/homophobic Indiana environment, our openness, honesty, trust, and communication has allowed us both to live our true lives with each other and within a very strong relationship.

All truth. No lie there. The truth is there are more bi guys than you know it. It's just each person has a different amount of tendency. Some just are always horny looking for someone to suck their dicks, some like trannys and feel that makes them straight, some.like it when a woman is involved so they dont feel shame or identify as bi, while some are just straight out bi and love it both ways. I dont think it really matter. Only in America do you have boxes that you MUST fit into. But I'm going to enjoy the bi life for now . Cheers

 

[5391681]

divorced, no reason not to take the plunge except A: im incredibly picky and B: Im terrified people will find out and treat me differently.
I fantasize about it every day. I was in nyc in november for work and downloaded grindr for the first time. matched with a jacked muscle daddy with grey stubble from his jaw to his cock. we started exchanging pics, then camming. fuck he was so hot. he was like 5 min from me but i never could muster the courage to go. he got justifiably pissed because i wouldnt show my face. im prob going to end up going to a gay massuer for my first time just to make it uncomplicated.

 

[5391681]

Honestly dont knownhow to approach it this time. I wonder if he'll do it again or if I missed the window.

tell him to come to your house and give you a cut

 

[txviewer]

divorced, no reason not to take the plunge except A: im incredibly picky and B: Im terrified people will find out and treat me differently.
I fantasize about it every day. I was in nyc in november for work and downloaded grindr for the first time. matched with a jacked muscle daddy with grey stubble from his jaw to his cock. we started exchanging pics, then camming. fuck he was so hot. he was like 5 min from me but i never could muster the courage to go. he got justifiably pissed because i wouldnt show my face. im prob going to end up going to a gay massuer for my first time just to make it uncomplicated.

I know exactly how you feel regarding A and B. I've not been married, so hooking up with someone isn't a problem, it just boils down to your exception A. The last time I hooked up with a guy was August of last year and even then it'd been YEARS since I'd hooked up with a guy. I've also thought about going the gay masseur route as well to just sort of let things happen, but with the current situation that might make it a bit difficult.

 

[5391681]

I know exactly how you feel regarding A and B. I've not been married, so hooking up with someone isn't a problem, it just boils down to your exception A. The last time I hooked up with a guy was August of last year and even then it'd been YEARS since I'd hooked up with a guy. I've also thought about going the gay masseur route as well to just sort of let things happen, but with the current situation that might make it a bit difficult.

I just want a discrete nsa hookup is that too much to ask lol

 

[lowhangers]

Have a open marriage. Mine wife nows i have a sex with one off our best frinds.

 

[NYtalljock]

Nyc here pretty much looking for this

 

[4552511]

tell him to come to your house and give you a cut

He did but was very uncomfortable. Chair was too low, he was high, and I didnt know how to bring up the conversation since there was no touch. So I'm going to buy one of those office handle chairs, and make that my make shift barber desk chair lol

 

[4552511]

He did but was very uncomfortable. Chair was too low, he was high, and I didnt know how to bring up the conversation since there was no touch. So I'm going to buy one of those office handle chairs, and make that my make shift barber desk chair lol

Been going to him for years and have never smelt weed on him. So didn't know if he was high from.nerves, or high not to get aroused. Sorry never smoked weed. Dilemma here. Help?

 

[Razor500]

divorced, no reason not to take the plunge except A: im incredibly picky and B: Im terrified people will find out and treat me differently.
I fantasize about it every day. I was in nyc in november for work and downloaded grindr for the first time. matched with a jacked muscle daddy with grey stubble from his jaw to his cock. we started exchanging pics, then camming. fuck he was so hot. he was like 5 min from me but i never could muster the courage to go. he got justifiably pissed because i wouldnt show my face. im prob going to end up going to a gay massuer for my first time just to make it uncomplicated.

Your situation sounds a lot like mine. Would be interested in chatting.

 

[the_need_is_]

My wife and I met at university in the late 70’s when sex was a pretty free and easy thing.
We agreed in our first days together that same sex sex sounded sexy, and monogamy sounded stupid. So I took the plunge as soon as I could find a guy who wanted to do it with me after that, and took it again with many men after, and plan to again soon with bi guys I already know, and some I hope to meet.

 

[5494531]

I'm 38, and married. No way my wife would accept that I am really wanting to experiment.

I would experiment behind her back as a one off and judge that if you will but the urge to know if I enjoy it is too strong to ignore.

Anyone have any advice on how to go about it? I'm in Berkshire, UK.

 

[Razor500]

I'm 38, and married. No way my wife would accept that I am really wanting to experiment.

I would experiment behind her back as a one off and judge that if you will but the urge to know if I enjoy it is too strong to ignore.

Anyone have any advice on how to go about it? I'm in Berkshire, UK.

I say that imstead of trying to hook up with a guy over the net, just pay for an escort on line so you are in full control of the experience. You will not have to wade through the kooks out there, one of whom could easily turn on you and not respect your wish to be discrete.

 

[mrbigdoc]

I didn't for 40 years but as I have gotten older, the urges just got to much for me. So glad I did start to enjoy again.... I really missed it.

 

[jockeys124]

Dude, go get a haircut. If he is a standalone barber, call and make an appointment. If he works at a place with more than one barber, call an make an appointment with him. At the very least you are sending the message that you weren't offended by his actions, and your showing that you are back for more. The ball is now in his court, all you have to do is relax and enjoy a haircut. If it happens again react accordingly as you want to.

Make sure its the last appt of the day. Then flirt with him. "you gonna make me look good, hotshot?" or something like that. He is surely attentive to flirts. Take a risk. Do.It.