Bi Or Gay

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by hungthickone, Nov 14, 2008.

  1. hungthickone

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    Is it easier to be Gay than BI? society, life , relationships etc, comments pls
    I know that its labeling and not everyone likes it , but I think being Bi is harder because society cant figure out if we are black or white so to speak and it makes it hard to label 'us' as such
     
  2. Smallbutbig

    Smallbutbig New Member

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    it will change in the future. It was accepted by civilisation way back esp Greek society. It is mostly western values that have put us back. until we accept gays fully then we can start to accept the wide spectrum.

    As someone who moves in the gay world, I find most of them are bi or married anyway complaining of their wives or g/f. Unfortunately as deaf person I experience a lot of prejudice from gay people so I am forced to live a "straight" life, but dabble whenever I can until my disability is finally accepted.....sad old world eh?
     
  3. D_CountdeGrandePinja

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    It's what we make it - probably a lot depends on where one lives. Hiding is not an option - we are called to be true to who and what we are.

    The truth will set us free - whatever our own truth is.
     
  4. lvsxy808

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    As with most things, I think it's swings and roundabouts.

    On the plus side, it's easier to pass as straight (if you choose to do that), and it automatically doubles your potential dating pool.

    On the minus side, both sides attack you for not fitting into their nice rigid little assumptions. As neither fish nor flesh, people just don't know how to categorise you, and that frustrates them.
     
  5. Xcuze

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    Why do you have to go around telling people you are Bi-sex? I dont understand how the subject comes up in day to day life. Just follow your instincts & be attracted to whoever takes your fancy at any given moment. I suspect the biggest barrier here is in your own mind. In my experience Gay men find Bi-sexual men quite a turn on. So how are you handicapped again?
     
  6. numberseven

    numberseven New Member

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    I guess I can't comment on it being easier or harder than anything else, having only been the way I am... but frankly, I haven't had a terribly difficult time of it. Granted, I am not one to put that information on my sleeve--if someone asks, I'll respond honestly, but if someone assumes on way or the other I'm more likely to just allow that assumption to be.

    In general, I think as society opens up to the idea of more fluid sexuality, it'll be easier and easier for everyone to live however they like.
     
  7. MagicJohnsonFan

    MagicJohnsonFan New Member

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    That's pretty much been my experience. I'm very feminine and fairly attractive so guys don't usually have a problem with it, most women I know are at least bi-curious so they use me for their FAQ (and if I'm lucky, experimentation!), but it seems to really piss most lesbians off.

    We are what we are. I try not to put this sort of thing in nice, tidy little compartments.
     
  8. Principessa

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    I agree with you; but from what I have seen on this board there is a little more to it than a label. It seems bisexuals are often discriminated against by straights and gays because they fear the bi person leaving them for the other sex. In addition a few bad apples have ruined it for many others by being sluts and manwhores and caring little for their partners feelings.
     
  9. kabutops74

    kabutops74 New Member

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    I think there's another dynamic too, since for every person who argues that everyone's at least a little bi, there's someone else who's convinced true bisexuals don't exist. It's not just that the set of potential competition for your partner's attention doubles, but also that issues of participating in a straight or gay "lifestyle"/"scene" can affect the relationship, regardless of the two individuals in it.

    I see some straight women responding negatively on the presumption they're some kind of cover of normalcy for a guy who might actually be (more|just) into dudes. On the other end, I think some gay men might worry about being abandoned for that same heteronormalcy and want to avoid guys not fully vested in a gay identity.

    So, the bisexual guy gets shafted on both sides, because he's in truth neither a part of, nor "victim" to the prevailing sexual norms. I actually see some parallels here with the interpersonal affects of racial passing.

    On a personal note, I've found honest-to-goodness bi guys to be very good in the sack, probably from having to negotiate both teams. But, at least for me, that's been very different, from straight-identified-turned-gay-identified dudes, who have seemed a little less... nuanced.
     
    #9 kabutops74, Nov 14, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2008
  10. nudeyorker

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    It's easier to be happy in your own skin and not take a nod from society. Make your own rules on how you live your life.
     
  11. Phil Ayesho

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    I would say its harder to be Bi.

    Most gay people have gotten to the point where they can at least HAVE a community if they come out...

    But as was pointed out, both Gays and heteros treat bisexuals as if they are "kidding themselves" or living in partial denial.

    Plus, Bisexuality is not all that identifiable a group. Those who can truly have a love interest in either gender are rare.

    There are men who love men, but enjoy sex with women, and men who love women but can enjoy sex with men...

    And every shade of variation in between.

    Of the folks I know, the Gay people are all out. the Heteros of course are... and ALL the bisexuals keep it secret from the vast majority of folks they meet and know.
     
  12. hungthickone

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    see #9, I think he gets it!
     
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