Bi-sexual partners

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Lordpendragon, Sep 14, 2005.

  1. Lordpendragon

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    I notice that a lot of people state in their profiles that they are x% straight and y% gay.

    How does this pan out with partners?

    Do they know? do they care? does it count as being unfaithful?

    Or if your partner is not exclusive:

    Do you know? do you care? does it count as being unfaithful and what are the consequences?

    I have an experience myself but never really thought about it before in terms of their bi-sexuality - or perhaps I did subconsciously more than I realised.
     
  2. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    My last girlfriend found out I was into guys and got in her car and tried to run me over. Does that answer your question?
     
  3. Lordpendragon

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    A graphic illustration of actions speaking louder than words! LMAO!

    Do you tell partners up front now?

    Or perhaps just increase your insurance cover.
     
  4. Alley Blue

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    That's a really good question. I often wondered (for the guys who have girlfriends or are married) how there significant other feels about it.
     
  5. Dorset

    Dorset New Member

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    I once had a girlfriend who knew I was attracted to some men and she was cool with it, she even wanted to experiment as she was bi-sexual also. It turned out that after the intial testing of the water that I only have a mild bi side so not much happened.

    My current girlfriend is very different though, the subject of bi men came up while watching a TV show but without me mentioning my admiration for the male form. She said that if I was bi she would think it was far worse than me having an affair because I wouldn't be the same person she thought I was. This would be without me actually having a gay affair, just fancying men!

    I think some women really get disgusted by gay sex when it involves a 'straight' man. Odd, but then again women are a different species and we should never, ever, attempt to work them out!
     
  6. Alley Blue

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    I was always perplexed how some women who happen to find other women attractive are repulsed by the idea of there "Man" actually finding other men attractive. I know alot of women who are "ok" in the area of bisexuality, yet these very women would probably take issue with there husband or boyfriend expressing a mild, passing interest in other men.
    From what I've seen, read and experienced, a benign attraction to other men is going to happen now and then.......perhaps not for all men, but for quite a few of them.
     
  7. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    That's a tough question. I'm not sure how I'd feel if my guy told me he was bi. My 20% gay mainly reflects that I find women hot. Although I've never experiemented with one or even so much as kissed a girl, I'd be totally for it if the chance came along.

    I think the situation is pretty flipped when a girl is in a serious relationship but is bi or has bi tendencies than if the guy in a serious relationship is bi or has bi tendencies. I think that many more men are willing to share their woman with another woman, especially if he has the chance to join in. I think you'll find a lot less women willing to trade places though.
     
  8. Alley Blue

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    I think 90% of women share this viewpoint, and this where I become somewhat perplexed. Perhaps alot of women feel slightly threatened by this mild attraction that their boyfriend or husband may have :shrug:

    PS
    Great avitar pic Texassgirl :evilgrin:
     
  9. pippi

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    my 10% are coming the fact that i have this penis "fetish". looking at a good looking man with a nice penis (just the visuals) is something i find nice, sexually arousing. as far as actual actions i go, i really kissed a guy at a party. i mean just us both in the empty bedroom. with us lying on the bed and kissing and some touching for an hour or so. if we both were pretty wasted that is all that has happend. (he is gay btw)
    i also told my girlfriend about this. she was not jealous at all. if i would have sex with a man she wouldnt mind, because he is no competing with her. he would give me something she can not give.
     
  10. wangchung

    wangchung New Member

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    I've only had one boyfriend who had a problem with me liking other women. Most of the guys I've been with either don't care or actually like it. I know I don't want to be in a serious relationship with another girl (at least not one I've met yet), but I definitely like having sexual relationships with girls every once in awhile. Sometimes it's easier for girls since girl-on-girl is glorified as sexy. As far as being with a guy who is partially attracted to men, I wouldn't have a problem with that as long as he was honest about it and wasn't trying to hide his true sexuality by passing as straight. I think it's natural for almost everyone to have some degree of attraction to their own sex even if it's just a visceral thing.
     
  11. jonb

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    Some women like it. Others are afraid they can't compete with a man. If you're a teen/twentysomething, goth/punk/emo chicks are the most understanding.
     
  12. B_GorgeousJane

    B_GorgeousJane New Member

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    Both me and my boyfriend are actively bisexual to varying degrees, me more than him though. Neither of us knew about the other's preferences before we got together, but it's certainly not a problem and has enhanced our sex life several times. I know most guys like the idea of two girls in bed, but I think a lot of girls find it erotic to think of two men. But as with most things in a relationship, being comfortable with bisexuality is simply a question of trust, really.
     
  13. madame_zora

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    Pippi, I think this best explains why a lot of women ARE afraid of men being bi. They fear they cannot compete, so they don't want their partners to experiment, thinking they might prefer men to them.

    Also, there are some men who are mostly gay, but get into relationships with women only to come out later and a lot of women have heard these stories and are afraid of losing the relationship as they know it. Experimentation is a good thing, knowing who you are is important, but I can understand why some women see it as a threat, because sometimes it is.

    For me, I love it when a guy tells me he's bi, at least then I know what to expect and won't be surprised if he's interested in a guy. If I was in a serious relationship I would be far more worried about his attraction to another woman.
     
  14. Pye

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    It is an ultimate double standard...I think MZ has it down that women feel more threatened when they can't compete
     
  15. Alley Blue

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    Then my question is this: Would a man feel threatened if his girlfriend/wife told him, "I have a mild attraction to women" and would he fear that she'd find a women that could give her something that he can’t.? Even though alot of men find the idea of there wife/girlfriend being attracted to other women as "hot", they wouldn’t feel threatened by. Why would a women feel anymore or any less threatened?
     
  16. Slamdunk_dude

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    I realise that this is slightly off topic but you know one thing that really annoys me to death? The episode of "Sex and the City" where Carrie dates a bisexual guy. All the way through the episode they try to "explain" his bisexuality, that it is because he is young, or gay and closeted. Then Carrie keeps asking him "do I kiss better than a guy?" and to top it all off they go to this party where all the bisexual people have these incestuous "spin the bottle" relationships with eachother.

    Sorry but "Sex and the City" can reconcile itself to every minority group except bisexuals who are painted as perverts who all sleep with eachother. Phew! sorry about that!

    Anyway to add to the thread, I'm still in the process of finding out about my own sexuality but for now know that I am attracted to both men and women. If I were to be in a relationship I would let my gf know how I felt. For me though its not so much being attracted to "men" or "women" but being attracted to the person regardless of their gender. In that respect my partner would have no need to feel threatened by my attraction to men any more than my attraction to women. If I am in a monogamous relationship I'm not going to act on either, end of story.

    Slamdunk_dude
     
  17. intheloop

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    My last "boyfriend" was bi. I think I was okay with the fact that he was bisexual, but I couldn't handle the polyamory bit.

    I'm monogamous and althought I tried to be open about it, the relationship failed.
    Knowing that his life plan was to live with me "for a couple of years" then move out and get married, have 2.5 children and matching volvos didn't appeal to me at all.
    a relationship with an expiration date? I think not. And I was jealous. I felt bad because I thought I was getting so little of his time dedicated to me, but if I said anything about that, the polyamory card came out to the rescue. OMG I was being self-centered and selfish.

    ugh, I'm rambling here, sorry bout that. :argh:

    I do find bi guys hot, but after my last relationship, I'm gonna have to think twice (and more) before going steady on a serious relationship with a bi guy.
     
  18. jonb

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    Yeah, but she gives me something he can't too.

    Strange thing is, I've met women who say two women together is gross but two men together's hot. Just like a lot of men say, only reversed.
     
  19. Alley Blue

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    Slamdunk_dude: :yourock:
    This is exactly my point! If i'm in a monogamous relationship with someone who happens to be bi why would his same sex attraction be a reason for me to feel threatened to begin with? And why would she feel anymore threatened then if perhaps he was 100% heterosexual? I would think the fear for being left for "someone better" is the same, regardless of if he was bisexual or heterosexual?
    Whether you have a mild attraction to the same sex or not, sexual attraction is human nature. Why would anyone allow this to effect the stability of there relationship (e.g. "I'm scared he's gonna leave me for another man.) Fears and insecurity such as these calls into question the stability of the relationship to begin with.


    <!--QuoteBegin-intheloop
    @Sep 17 2005, 09:52 PM
    Knowing that his life plan was to live with me "for a couple of years" then move out and get married, have 2.5 children and matching volvos didn&#39;t appeal to me at all. a relationship with an expiration date?
    I do find bi guys hot, but after my last relationship, I&#39;m gonna have to think twice (and more) before going steady on a serious relationship with a bi guy.
    [post=344182]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]

    I hope the person was upfront with you Inthloop about his intentions. If nothing else, it would of given you the opportunity to decide whether you still wanted to go through with the relationship or not.

    Don&#39;t forget that not all bi guys have a "end" in mind when they first start a relationship.
     
  20. Lordpendragon

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    Thanks for discussing this everyone - it has been very cathartic for me because of a personal experience which proved to be a crossroads in my life many years ago.

    I suppse that to the heterosexual mind sex without a cock isn&#39;t the real thing - so sex between two men can still be the real thing.

    However, irrespective of genders, it is hard for most of us to develop a relationship without some form of sexual exclusiveness at some stage. How things develop after that is up to the individuals involved.

    In my own case, because the latter was not going to happen, I suppose I didn&#39;t take the relationship as seriously as I should/could have done. We were sophomores at the time so it wasn&#39;t the environment to be getting serious anyway.

    I had no problem with her exclusively lesbian partners, but she freaked when I had casual sex with other women (we were all promiscuaous back then).

    Having serious sex with with a same sex partner was OK, but "it was only sex it meant nothing more", wasn&#39;t. I left the realtionship, but with hindsight, we were great together and I would have settled down and she could happily have continued being a practising bisexual with my wholehearted consent.
     
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