Bi-sexual partners

[Slamdunk_dude]

Thanks Alley Blue! :happy:
You actually explained it better than I could, to my mind being heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual makes no difference. There are people of all sexual orientations who will cheat and ones who won't. I do understand the whole "he gives him something I can't" thing but for me that just isn't an issue.
I'm not very good at expressing my ideas sorry...

 

[madame_zora]

I like this site because we have what I would consider an extraordinary group of people on here. They are not necessarily to be found in such numbers in real life.

That being said, I have a question for both bisexual people and anyone who has had a relationship with a bisexual person. Do you (or have you had a partner) in FACT miss having sex with members of the sex to whom your partner is not a member? Do you feel bisexuality can be an issue where the person DOES feel they need to express both sides to feel satisfied? While I know that several bisexual people have just expressed the idea that monogamy is still preferable for them, I have known personally of people for whom this was not the case. Real life is not lpsg, so in real life, there may actually be more of a threat to a monogamous relationship if a partner takes the time and trouble to express their same-sex attraction (or opposite sex, as the case may be). Do you feel than when a partner expresses this attraction they are asking for permission to indulge that desire, and is it true? I'm not talking about admitting that they find cock pics hot, I mean talking about serious bisexual interest.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Environmental pressure can be so strong that it is difficult to know exactly what you really feel. I could for example be subconsciously fantasizing that my partner's clitoris is a cock when I go down on her and this may be enough to satisfy my latent homosexuality.

I understand that those who are gay, know it completely. But for the rest for whom homosexuality, is I believe naturally latent to some degree, really find the nature nurture conundrum difficult to fathom. Different times and places in our lives, don't resolve the issue either.

I think many cultures provide structures within which same sexes can express their appreciation of each other, but strict lines are drawn in the post church-regulated society. In fact those who enjoy these situations the most are ironically often the most vehement in their damnation of practising homosexuality.

I would now be comfortable with a partner who knew themselves well enough to know that they needed to express their homosexual side in a sexual manner to be fulfilled and liberated.

I put down 0% gay on my profile, but that represents my practice - what is going on in my mind is a mystery to me.

 

[pippi]

Originally posted by jonb@Sep 18 2005, 02:17 AM
Yeah, but she gives me something he can't too.

Strange thing is, I've met women who say two women together is gross but two men together's hot. Just like a lot of men say, only reversed.

[post=344235]Quoted post[/post]​

sounds like my girlfriend

 

[5734]

I don't really tell anyone unless i'm with a girl or with a guy i told my mom i was bi and she was like "the power of christ compells you!" kind of thing, If my uncle knew he would toss my off the balcony, meh if they know let them not like it's gonna cure me.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Originally posted by madame_zora@Sep 18 2005, 08:20 AM
I like this site because we have what I would consider an extraordinary group of people on here. They are not necessarily to be found in such numbers in real life.

That being said, I have a question for both bisexual people and anyone who has had a relationship with a bisexual person. Do you (or have you had a partner) in FACT miss having sex with members of the sex to whom your partner is not a member? Do you feel bisexuality can be an issue where the person DOES feel they need to express both sides to feel satisfied? While I know that several bisexual people have just expressed the idea that monogamy is still preferable for them, I have known personally of people for whom this was not the case. Real life is not lpsg, so in real life, there may actually be more of a threat to a monogamous relationship if a partner takes the time and trouble to express their same-sex attraction (or opposite sex, as the case may be). Do you feel than when a partner expresses this attraction they are asking for permission to indulge that desire, and is it true? I'm not talking about admitting that they find cock pics hot, I mean talking about serious bisexual interest.

[post=344381]Quoted post[/post]​

I know it's a cliche' but I hate labels. I've had relationships (not just relations) with men and women. I've been with my partner for 5 years and there are times I think about women sexually. I also find other men sexually attractive but I don't do anything about it. My partner knows my history and it doesn't worry him a bit. I used to think my ideal situation would be to find a hot guy and a hot girl and have a hot 3-way relationship with them. This is, however, real life and scenes like that rarely play well over any given period of time. I'm fine being monogamous. I have urges but so does everybody else in relationships. To quote the late (and very dead) John Holmes: "I consider myself sexual".

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by Sorcerer@Sep 23 2005, 05:51 PM
To quote the late (and very dead) John Holmes: "I consider myself sexual".

[post=345936]Quoted post[/post]​

:rofl: Thanks for that, no one likes dead guys more than me!

I guess this has always been an area of confusion for me because I've had so damned many partners who I later found out were "bi" only to even later find out that meant they were gay and didn't really want to have sex with me at all. Being used as a stepping stone isn't a good feeling, but when you are an open person, you seem to attract them a lot. Also, I've had it explained to me quite frequently (much after the fact) that they thought the archetypal "woman" with big tits and a strong personality is attractive to them because they think if anyone could "turn them straight" it would be someone like me. Not fair to me, not at all. I wouldn't mind if I knew what I was getting in to, but so frequently they aren't really aware on a conscious level themselves. I get left with a feeling of emptiness, no one to be mad at and no lesson learned. I would give anything to know how to avoid this situation, so I just keep looking for answers.

In reality, these guys may be the exceptions to the rule, it's just that in my own life, they are not.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

That's why I put 1% straight in my profile. In reality it depends on the day of the week. It's not fair for a man to get together with a woman without being honest. I've met plenty of women who knew and wanted me anyway. The ones I didn't tell got huge resentments (I was very young). You brought up a good point with not wanting to be a stepping stone. I think many guys don't do it consciously. Many are blindly stumbling down the path of life. My ex-girlfriend is attracted to sensitive pretty boys and surprise...many of her boyfriends after me turned out to be gay. As I said before, I hate labels. I've been called on the carpet many times for my sexual proclivities. Many people are uncomfortable if a person can't be compartmentalized.

As far as a gay man being attracted to a woman with big tits and a strong personality, it's probably more hero worship than a desire for a sexual encounter. Many gay men want secretly want to be a strong woman with big tits. Remember the Kinsey Scale. I wholeheartedly believe it applies. Those who are a Pure Kinsey 1 or a 6 exist, the rest of us are somewhere in the middle. Many times I've been told that I'm 100% gay and in denial. My experience and preferences are mine and mine alone. I believe the phrase "don't judge me unless you've walked a mile in my shoes" applies. Also Jana, as my sponsor always said "you can do whatever you want in sobriety as long as you don't hurt another person".

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by Sorcerer@Sep 25 2005, 11:07 PM
That's why I put 1% straight in my profile. In reality it depends on the day of the week. It's not fair for a man to get together with a woman without being honest. I've met plenty of women who knew and wanted me anyway. The ones I didn't tell got huge resentments (I was very young). You brought up a good point with not wanting to be a stepping stone. I think many guys don't do it consciously. Many are blindly stumbling down the path of life. My ex-girlfriend is attracted to sensitive pretty boys and surprise...many of her boyfriends after me turned out to be gay. As I said before, I hate labels. I've been called on the carpet many times for my sexual proclivities. Many people are uncomfortable if a person can't be compartmentalized.

Yeah, that is the rub. I also like sensitive pretty boys sometimes, and not all of them are gay or questioning. It's just that the ones who are often are not aware of it themselves. Sexual proclivities are not the problem, self-awareness is. I believe a person should be free to experiment in whatever way they feel is of interest, but not being open to talking about these things with your partners is what gives people the wrong impression of what the relationship is about. I'd have NO problem having sex with a guy who wasn't sure where he stood, but please don't try to make me fall in love, and then make me feel bad for wanting sex! It's absurd.

As far as a gay man being attracted to a woman with big tits and a strong personality, it's probably more hero worship than a desire for a sexual encounter. Many gay men want secretly want to be a strong woman with big tits.

Lordy, don't I know it! (Why don't they?)

Remember the Kinsey Scale. I wholeheartedly believe it applies. Those who are a Pure Kinsey 1 or a 6 exist, the rest of us are somewhere in the middle. Many times I've been told that I'm 100% gay and in denial. My experience and preferences are mine and mine alone. I believe the phrase "don't judge me unless you've walked a mile in my shoes" applies. Also Jana, as my sponsor always said "you can do whatever you want in sobriety as long as you don't hurt another person".

[post=346489]Quoted post[/post]​

Your sponsor is very wise, I try to remember that myself these days. This is not a gay/straight issue, I find way too many people not being honest about who they are and what they want in a lot of areas pertaining to relationships. What a total drag.

How can you be in denial if you're doing what you WANT to do? As long as you're not forcing yourself into society's molds to conform to ideals that don't fit, you are being yourself. So you're a little hetero on certain days, who really gives a fuck? As long as it's YOUR desire and not a desire to make yourself be normal, it's just you, beautiful and perfect as you are.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

My last girlfriend practically made every guy after me take a lie detector test. She would call me and ask me about things they would mention or do and ask if I thought they were gay. One of the worst was a guy who went to one of the most popular gay clubs in West Hollywood and claimed it was a "mixed" crowd. I told her "yeah, it's mixed...fags and dykes! When we were together (2 1/2 years) and we shared everything including a home, I never told her that one night I got drunk and messed around with a friend of mine (several months before I met her). The next morning when I woke up with a cheap beer hangover and a man in my bed I was totally grossed out. Of course the next time I tried it was a completely different story (hot Playgirl model). That was the night before I broke up with my girlfriend. For the record I didn't leave my girlfriend for a guy. I broke up with her because she treated me badly and witheld affection (including sex) for an entire year. You just can't do that to a horny guy. At the end she really didn't understand why I dumped her. When she found out I was seeing a guy she flipped out and that's when she tried to run me over with her car. There were other scenes but that's the most memorable. I had to convince the Malibu police that I'd calm her down and take her home so they wouldn't arrest her.

I've met many hetero pretty boys that aren't the butchest things in the world. Conversely, I've met gay guys that should have their cards revoked. Since we can't judge a book by it's cover, we have to judge it for it's content. By that I mean character. Some people just aren't mature enough to be honest and in touch with themselves. It happens sooner for women, many in their mid 20's. I think it usually doesn't happen in men until around 30 or later. I'm finally comfortable with who I am and couldn't give a flying fuck if someone doesn't like me or what I'm about. As you know Jana, people either love or hate people with strong personalities. There are many chameleons out there and we like to believe what they say because it makes us feel good. Like cocaine, the high is fake and doesn't last very long.

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by Sorcerer@Sep 25 2005, 03:07 PM
Many gay men want secretly want to be a strong woman with big tits.

[post=346489]Quoted post[/post]​

Um, WTF?

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

I stand behind my statement. Ever notice how drag queens are "over the top" personality wise with big fake tits?

 

[jonb]

Most gay men aren't drag queens, though.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Originally posted by jonb@Sep 27 2005, 05:24 PM
Most gay men aren't drag queens, though.

[post=347040]Quoted post[/post]​

I said many, not most. Personally I have no desire to dress in drag or have big tits but I have met quite a few men who do.

 

[intheloop]

Originally posted by Alley Blue@Sep 17 2005, 11:16 PM

I hope the person was upfront with you Inthloop about his intentions. If nothing else, it would of given you the opportunity to decide whether you still wanted to go through with the relationship or not.

Don't forget that not all bi guys have a "end" in mind when they first start a relationship.

[post=344278]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah I was aware of his intentions, but I couldn't handle it. I'm a one man kinda guy when I'm on a relationship, and I think that was more the issue than the fact he was bi.

Otherwise I'm a total slut. :evilgrin: j/k