bi/str8/curious guys

1

13788

Guest
BiteSize: Dee: Your intelligence and reason shine out of this polemic as they do out of all your posts. Thank you.

DMW: Over the past year of visiting LPSG and its predecessor I've had many occasions to admire your honesty and compassion. Along with those qualities goes your pride: you are proud of what you are, proud of what you've achieved, and proud to define yourself as gay. But there are many of us whose sexuality defies convenient labelling.

Probably most of us are capable of being sexual omnivores, depending on a complex mix of factors: circumstances and opportunity; education and conditioning; love, companionship, and self-image; and all that's without even starting to think about the mysteries of the libido and raw physical attraction. Personally, I think those of us who are honest enough with ourselves can enjoy sex (or the thought of it) with both males and females. And, again, if we're honest with ourselves, we accept it as a simple fact of our existence and therefore it's not something to be either proud of or ashamed of - any more than one would be proud of eating meat but never touching fish.

Sorry about all the food analogies. It's lunchtime in Moscow.
 
1

13788

Guest
Javierdude22: [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=meetgreet;num=1053808452;start=12#18 date=05/26/03 at 17:11:54]
Whether we label ourselves or not, someone else will. It's inescapable in today's society.  
[/quote]

That might exactly be a problem to many people dealing with this issue. Society is a mixture of perceived steroetypes, judgementalism etc. , something people dealing with this, in general, are very aware of. Now of course the best approach is to not care about it, like you said Dee, truth is though that many people cant, or have a lot of trouble with it, like myself.

Like i said, i dont label myself too much, although i cant escape thinking about it, simply cause i wouldnt know where to begin. I dont know what the Kinsley scale is but i can guess it ranges from totally str8 to totally gay or something....well....then that Kinsley does not tickle my interest...its something not me, but society invented for THEM to understand ME better...and im not about to conform to that. Im being myself, without thinking about it too much, and its none of peoples business what 'myself' means. If they DO want to know that, then by all means do try...those are the ones i call my friends, and theyll understand eventually what it all means, and that it goes a hell of a lot further then sexuality.

Lets be honest though. I have the comfort that no-one'll ask me if im gay simply cause they would have to be convinced to believe it. But ill always say im str8....i.e. a label.....simply cause society will get a general picture of my attitude, and i believe its a VERY general picture cause DMW i know that saying your gay doesnt mean you walk around with a purse. But its a general picture, and admittedly, an easy way out for me. I have no desire for them to know what i do sexually in my life and with whom, simply cause the fact is you will get judged. And i guess im not ready to take it yet. We'll see when that kicks in.

I saw you guys had a back and forth discussion yesterday, very cool, now i hate friggin European time...:)...
 
1

13788

Guest
drrionelli: When I was in college, I had a professor who said, succinctly, that "...sex is what you ARE, not what you DO."

He was (and is) quite right. ;D
 
1

13788

Guest
Javierdude22: to me its quite the opposite....

i hope he meant the opposite
 

Ralexx

Admired Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2002
Posts
667
Media
10
Likes
936
Points
423
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
BiteSize wrote :

Dee: Your intelligence and reason shine out of this polemic as they do out of all your posts. Thank you.

DMW: Over the past year of visiting LPSG and its predecessor I've had many occasions to admire your honesty and compassion. Along with those qualities goes your pride: you are proud of what you are, proud of what you've achieved, and proud to define yourself as gay.

That's why I like them both !!!
 

B_DoubleMeatWhopper

Expert Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2002
Posts
4,941
Media
0
Likes
111
Points
268
Age
45
Location
Louisiana
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
[quote author=drrionelli link=board=meetgreet;num=1053808452;start=12#22 date=05/27/03 at 10:21:54]When I was in college, I had a professor who said, succinctly, that "...sex is what you ARE, not what you DO."

He was (and is) quite right. ;D[/quote]

To which Javierdude23 replied:
to me its quite the opposite...

i hope he meant the opposite

Not at all. Doc's prof was quite right. It's something akin to what I stated about 'gay' not being a verb. Though someone's sexual identity generally has some bearing on what what sexual acts that person will perform, nothing is set in stone. Humans are too complex for situations to be so black and white. I have had sex with straight men who had a curiosity about gay sex. They tried it once. That didn't suddenly negate their heterosexuality; they simply satisfied a curiosity and found that though the sexual experience itself was enjoyable, gay sex was just not their cup of tea. That's not where their heads were. So the sex was about who they were, not what they did.
 
1

13788

Guest
Javierdude22: Ok, i see what you mean there DMW. I guess i interpreted it differently.

Ill see if i can explain it as i write. To me sex is basically only something i DO, and not something i concern myself with identity wise. No wait...of course i do think about it, tha exactly is the problem. Im thinking too much about something which is, or should at least not be relevant.

I am attarcted to a diverse set of people, which has a lot to do with the being part of sex. But i dont think that is an important part. To me sex IS a verb...its something i do, because its enjoyable, and i conncet with people on a different level. Sex has nothing to do with who i am though...Im a male, and have sex....c'est tout. With whom what where and when is irrelevant...

Maybe im missing the point here, my English is good but not that good, so myabe im not following well.
 

txquis

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2003
Posts
1,682
Media
0
Likes
69
Points
368
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
This may not be true for everyone,
but for me,
i felt as javierdude did,
when i was 23...
sex was something i DID and did not
have bearing  (at least conciously) on who i
"am',
as he put it so well.

But, ten years later,
that has changed for me.
My thinking has changed about this issue.
Now, it is about who i am,
not what i do.
I am not sure exactly when or how
my thinking moved on the issue.

But...it did.
Lots of things moved when i hit thirty.
Including some of my hair.
:D
 
1

13788

Guest
spd: I really admire you guys who have settled in with your sexuality. For me I've always considered myself hetro but I'm an incurable crotch-watcher. I like to see pictures of mens penis's and it makes me wonder about myself. I've been that way as long as I can remember. I've never had a sexual relationship with a man and don't seem to desire one but maybe I just haven't been in the right place at the right time?
 

D_Martin van Burden

Account Disabled
Joined
Oct 6, 2002
Posts
3,229
Media
0
Likes
42
Points
258
You remind me of a bud I keep tab on through the Internet, Spd.

I don't doubt for a second that my Internet friend's straight. It's just something... ha, ha... I've come to accept about him; no big deal. But he and I have had some in-depth discussions about sexuality, and one thing that he pointed out to me, regardless of being straight, some of his more intense and meaningful male friendships have involved some level of physical male bonding. He's pretty self-conscious (and proud) of his own assets; he likes his dick size, he likes his ass, and he likes accentuating those features. Those same male friends have been friends that, too, have noticed his assets and remarked positively about them. [Please don't misunderstand. He doesn't befriend them just to get his ego stroked.] And quite frankly, he added, he's very comfortable with nudity and other men's nudity; he's comfortable touching, groping, getting touched, getting groped. It's just natural to him.

Whatever his past, it's an issue of being comfortable and self-aware. So you catch yourself crotch-watching. Way I see it, so long as you don't get involved with some big bruiser who gets threatened by that, I don't think it's a big deal. I mean, we see guys who are built or incredibly tall or walk with a confident swagger; we notice and/or admire those qualities in our peers, and it's pretty much devoid of any sort of emotional longing for that. (Just because you like Arnold Schwarzneggar's body doesn't mean you want to bed him.)
 
1

13788

Guest
7x6andchg: I'll second that, Dee...the Ah-nold comment.

I find that one of the ways that one can know that they are comfortable in their sexuality, especially as a man, is to know what a good looking man/woman is to them...doesn't mean they are looking to have sex with them...just that they know what traits they find attractive.

So, Spd - as long as you watch and don't get "hurt" doing it - if it brings you pleasure, do it...

7x6&C