Bible Sales

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pappy, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. Pappy

    Pappy Member

    Apr 5, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Outta Here
    A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial

    Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he
    discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and
    distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from
    the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to- door
    for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

    Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the
    task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as
    salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had
    serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who
    had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his
    speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not
    wanting to discourage poor Louis, the minister decided to let him try

    He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars
    stacked with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the
    results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

    Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister
    immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling
    our bibles last week?"

    Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, " using my
    sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I
    collected on behalf of the church."

    "Fine job, Peter!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.

    "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
    Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to
    sell for the church last week?"

    Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied,"

    I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the
    benefit of my sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of
    the church, and here's $280 I collected."

    The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
    truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

    Apprehensively, the minister turned to little Louie and said, "And
    Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"

    Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend
    opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister
    exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you
    sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?

    Louie just nodded.

    That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are
    professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
    bibles as we could."

    "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd
    better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

    Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-
    f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

    Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie,

    just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

    "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-

    would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-

    f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j- j-just

    l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t- to
  2. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

    Jul 15, 2004
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    That's great! A technique that I'm glad a salesmen never used on me.
  3. D_Fergus_Fearsomegas

    D_Fergus_Fearsomegas Account Disabled

    Sep 25, 2011
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  4. vibrationzzz

    Gold Member

    Nov 25, 2007
    Likes Received:
    South East Queensland (aus)
    #4 vibrationzzz, Jun 29, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2013
  5. bicuriousbc

    bicuriousbc Active Member

    Jun 9, 2008
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    Fernie (BC, CA)
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