The struggle is real! And I acknowledge that it's mental.. I'm definitely addicted to/obsessed with big dicks, and have been since I was younger. I knew from before puberty that I was attracted to muscular, well hung guys, and was lucky enough to start my sexual journey (late, at 20) with big dicks: 7x6.5, 9.75x7.25, 9x5, 8.5x6.5, 11x5.5, 11.5x8, etc.
Ever since, I have always gravitated toward big cocks, and always get the most turned on when I get to handle a monster, *especially* if the guy gets off on being serviced, oral, and feeding me. I absolutely looooove/crave to feel huge meat in my hands, slapping my face, choking me out, and pumping loads into my throat (hits my g-spot and often makes me cum handsfree), then slurping on a fat, veiny, turgid, freshly-drained cock (over and over and over lol).
Also if I can bottom for a big guy, I'm always surprised at how easily they slide in- like I'm so turned on, my ass is pulling them inside as deep as it can. Having a big dick at or inside my hole definitely hits a mental button, which somehow makes my body respond in a way that average or small dicks just don't.
That all being said, I am equal opportunity and not a "you're not big enough" type of guy. Monsters are rare and beautiful, but all cocks deserve to be worshiped