Big dicks and cheating

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lisabaxter, Aug 15, 2006.

  1. lisabaxter

    lisabaxter New Member

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    any other women have problems keeping their well endowed lover to themselves? I divorced last year after finding out most of my friends had fucked my husband behind my back. I didn't bring their marriages down with ours (god knows I could have) but I did find it somewhat amusing how often they said they were happy with their sex lives and size wasn't important (or even something to avoid).

    I have concluded that most women are at least curious about waht a big dick feels like and when they find out your man has one, they are going to try to get him in the rack.

    sorry if I sound a little bitter but anyone else have simliar problems? seems like guys who have big dicks want to put them in as many women as possible even if they are married.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    It's not the big dick, honey, it's the big dick that it's attached to.
     
  3. transformer_99

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    Similarly, men have that same problem with a trophy female, life's too short to worry about whether or not everyone on the planet wants to or has tried to screw who you are with at any given time. And that's the key concept, "who you are with", doesn't imply ownership. It's a choice, in my own experiences, I'm monogamous. New relationships, some view like jobs, don't leave one until you have a better one to go to. I can be the opposite on a case by case basis, when it's over I let the other partner know and move on. Sometimes the timing is right and the new relationship falls into your lap with very little effort, other times, you pursue. In this day and age, you have a choice whether you're with or without. Sometimes being without is a good thing, free to play the field without thinking about another trying to rate how you should live your life as it relates to what they think you owe them as courteousy. You'll wind up driving yourself insane living like that, vacillating between the guilt and the worry. Talk about stress.
     
  4. scanjock8

    scanjock8 New Member

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    i'm not a woman. and i'm gay. but i feel qualified to weigh in on this topic based on observations made from my long friendships with women who are either now married or still actively dating. attractive women who love men, with all their idiosyncracies, egos, and vulnerabilities, and love the attention men give them--not "fag hags" (as a gay man i use that term with affection, as i also have great relationships with women who would rather hang out with me and my male friends in gay bars looking at boys instead of dealing with the rituals of heterosexual courtship--a topic unto its own for sure).

    i am often in the unique position of being the only male my girlfriends confide in, giving them perspective they might not get from their girlfriends, and we waste no time getting down and dirty--dick size, performance, how to suck dick, anal, what guys like, what he's thinking, you're playing stupid games, he's a player, he's cheating, don't trust your girlfriend, dump him and move on, go easy on the poor guy, etc.

    now i wouldn't call these women size queens, but they'll say they prefer average or better, and all of them have been lured by guys with big dicks. in all cases, hung guys have spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e if not kept in check, but they all seemed to be worth the extra effort. guys with big dicks were always the most difficult or most drawn-out relationships to break off, the least trusted yet the easiest to forgive, the men they were most possessive of around other women--finding fault with women first when any suspected cruising is going on, the most likely to have 'ex-sex' with, and more likely to come back for a reconciliation.

    one of my closest girlfriends, after years of big-dick drama, married a man with a small penis. she definitely had an adjustment period when they were dating, but found pleasure beyond just getting filled up with a big dick--this guy could snack her box like a madman and worshipped everything about her. he prides himself on being a good provider and they have two beautiful children he gives his full attention (one of which i'm a Godparent to). she's convinced guys with small dicks make better, devoted husbands and is very happy. however, here's just a tiny caveat--not often, but once in awhile when the two of us meet over drinks, she'll tell me she has moments when she just wants to get thrown down on a bed and fucked by a guy with a big dick, and i have to remind her of all the reasons her man makes her happy.

    i realize my observations are purely anecdotal, and may not even be typical, but what is the deal with big dick men and all the double standards they are afforded by some women? is it just the sex? is it their bad boy attitude? confidence? are they seen as more virile or attractive by women for procreation in the same way men find certain female body characteristics--unconscious darwinian-like behavior? or am i way off base and all my girlfriends are just big-dick-loving breeder sluts (like me, sans breeding;-)?
     
  5. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Plenty of men with little dicks cheat.
    Plenty of men with average dicks cheat.
    Plenty of men with big dicks cheat.

    It's the content of character, not the size of the hose.
     
  6. HorseHungHouseHusband

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    I, too, think that the propensity to cheat has nothing to do with the size of a man's penis and everything to do with a man's character.
     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    Lisa, this is not directed at you, but just a general comment: there have been plenty of threads in this forum regarding women who tell their friends how big their partners' cocks are. Knowing that even if not size queens, that will make many of them curious.

    So, what it really boils down to is, Matthew is correct, cheating is not exclusive domain of hung men, but keep in mind that there is a chance that a hung man could possibly be pursued more aggressively by others who just want to sample his goods. The character of your partner and the character of your friends can be a great combination or a disastrous combination. In my most humble opinion, any person - man or woman - who "just can't say no" is pretty much scum.

    And readers, this might be an object lesson in "keep your personal life personal." If your friends ask about your sex life, nothing wrong with a generic answer such as "We have a great sex life. He pleases me, and I please him." If you give them answers that will make them jealous or tempt them to scummy behavior, you have just contributed.

    Lisa, sorry you had to go through this, better luck on your next one.
     
  8. scanjock8

    scanjock8 New Member

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    as if you hadn't heard enough from me...one more observation.

    occassionaly my girlfriend and i will take her two kids out for a walk in the stroller (peg-perego double wide). i'd say we make an attractive couple and i carry myself with a masculine stride, looking quite fatherly as i'm pushing that stroller through a crowded city park--and without fail, i get cruised by other women, which we both find hilarious, cuz i certainly ain't cruising them, although i can't help but play along for fun. i'll whisper "that woman just checked me out like i was a piece of breeder meat," and my friend will demonstrate her best "back-off" stare. reowwww. now if it were her husband and not me, i have to wonder how he might respond--and if he would make any mention before she noticed.

    i sometimes find myself fascinated by heterosexual interaction--subtle and more complex than the more blatant rituals of gay men. my hat's off to the straight people who figure it all out and make it work!
     
  9. 50%more

    50%more New Member

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    I can hear MLK now;

    "I have a dream...That one day men will be judged by the content of their character, and not by the size of their genitals......"

    Or King Selassie at the United Nations;

    "Until the philosophy which holds one size superior and another inferior....Until that day there will be war....."
     
  10. DC_DEEP

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    funny stuff, scanjock. There are women out there who find a wedding ring a most attractive thing on a man (pushing a stroller has the same effect on those types).

    I have found, though, that although the rules are slightly different, straight cruisers and gay cruisers actually do play the same games, in general. I have always preferred the "no-frills" approach. A little flirting can be fun, but all the other crap is silly - playing "hard-to-get," that sort of thing...
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    On topic--cock size has nothing to do with fidelity. Matthew, Sorceror, DC DEEP and scanjock make some excellent point. DC's point about a hung man being PURSUED more as people want to sample the goods (or see for themselves that he is hung) is on target.

    And as Chris Rock would say "A man can run fast or far enough from pussy. Women have had more practice. Every guy you've met since you were 13 has been trying to fuck you! Hw're ya doing? (WANT SOME DICK?!?!"

    A little Off-Topic-- Having now experienced both types of rituals, I would concur that the heterosexual rules are much more subtle and complex. Men are men and can not be subtle, even if they tried. The gay male ritutal of "staring at you until you notice me as I bore a hole in you and objectify the hell out of you" was bizarre to me at first. I never knew how women felt about objectification until it happned to me. Men are taught to be aggressive, while women are socialized to feel shamelful about attraction and hide it, lest them be labeled as sluts or easy.

    I had way more interest shown towards me as my friends and I watched football/basketball games at the local pub with wedding rings on and, as DC DEEP noted, pushing my infant kid around the mall alone was a surfire way to have a lot of women flirt heavily with me (not that I wanted that).
     
  12. scanjock8

    scanjock8 New Member

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    yep, the initial flirt is quite similar--it's "the other crap" we don't always have to contend with (i'm with you on no-frills when the time is right).

    for women seeking long-term relationships the courtship games can be unavoidable. society unfairly judges women more harshly than men for their conduct in these matters--some women choose to tread carefully. i've known very progressive, sexually liberated women, who will meet someone special, maybe even "the one," and come out of left field with "i don't want to ruin it by having sex right away..." i know less progressive women who genuinely believe they'll be labeled a slut if they have sex too soon, and unfortunately, some of the guys they date might actually label them as such after the fact (cruel double standard--more unnecessary games required).

    gay men, we get to be first-date sluts without stigma. pretty sweet deal.
     
  13. mnrocky

    mnrocky New Member

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    It is a personality trait but one that I think is brought on by having a big cock. If you grow up and people idolize your cock and are constantly amazed by it then this is going to affect how you deal with people.
    I have a friend who has a huge cock, he is tall, thin, good looking, with a fat piece of manmeat swinging between his legs, he is very aware of this and the effect it has on people. In fact when he meets people he will somehow bring it up in the conversation and eventually they want to see it. It affects how he deals with people.
    I see guys at the gym with these same traits, I am sure they are str8 but they like to show the "big boy" off, they know the effect it has on others.
    And like another poster the women I know like to know they are getting fucked by a dik that fills them up, if you have a small penis start eating snatch better. Even if you have a big one....she'll probably thank you.
     
  14. episcalo

    episcalo Member

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    Most straights don't! :tongue:
     
  15. scanjock8

    scanjock8 New Member

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  16. Gisella

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    :hug: Lisa, Iam sorry for your disapointments in your marriage and friendships...cheating is painful for sure.

    Well but as many already said here it comes from every sex gender and sizes, personality traits playes a big part in it plus some other factors to...

    I think that are some people that just cant be faithful, others try, others are constantly fighting to not until they do it once or few times, to and others just have to...many just play and never get caught others do it in the open and etc.

    Couples deal with it in many ways and we have many types or relationships going on like open, 1/2 open, close, sufocated forced in, and etc..in my mind i dont want live unhappy and dont want no one with me living unhappy and just facade relationship...i wish people just be always honest even if hurt me but honest. The worse hurt for me is lack of clean communication going on and the need to play behind my back or myself wish to play with someone else bcause i crave...when i was married i gave my all and even forgot i was attractive to others as I was to him..:tongue: yeh...i did not even look another man, and even with sexless marriage for 2 years i did not desire to have sex with another men...but when i said enough in my heart i open up again to look outside...and i was single and just me again to do what i may please.

    I grew up in a culture that cheating and lovers outside marriage was ok...men supose to cheat and women if did the same was marked...double standards. And men and women would hit in the open if they fancy anyone...it was commun women have sugar daddies, married men, for sex and finantial help...i saw many of this.

    I do agree with DC in many things and about the sharing about private life going on between not only girlfriends but buddies too...many of things i share here i would never share with physical friends..no way!

    Many people are bored, curious and every excited for what they do not have and may start to fantasy with neighboors green pastures..or what they think are greener...and better to give a try. And if they try in a occasion people are vulnerable and feeling their grass is dry things will happened almost sure they will...

    Many people play sick stuff i say that bcause some gf's bfs told them i was interested in them when the situation was just the opposite!:rolleyes: But those guys play those games bcause they want to train their women to always to look the other women as the enemy and they/men the saint..yeh, i saw many of that too...:rolleyes: and sad part is that some women are so well trained by their men that they are just blind and cant see the true. I had opportunity to be friends with some of them later when they saw their games finally...

    Well many people that are not just honest sucks and hurt but we have to be smart and play clean as possible. But there are no warranties we do not get hurt or we hurt others...

    I wish the best for you, me and everybody else.:smile:
     
  17. mnrocky

    mnrocky New Member

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    All I am saying is that this is some people's "claim to fame". If you have a commodity you more then likely use it to your benefit. It could be visual it could be physical. Most guys w/big diks like the attention. Str8 or gay. Its the society we live in, bigger is equated with better.
     
  18. transformer_99

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    It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of it all. All you have to do is go to the mall around Christmas time and see the world is full of something different and untried on a daily basis in just the randomness of it all. I think the biggest mistake is just because the hookup occurred, the expectations of forever are there, even ownership. Each of us gets whatever time we have on the planet. Do things that make you happy and if someone else fits into the picture, well, fine then, there are a lot of people that have shared interests, people come and go and that doesn't make them bad or a cheater or whatever. Your ex probably felt that if he didn't try whomever, he was cheating himself. By the same token, a perspective might be that by being in that relationship, you might be cheating yourself out of developing. But back to the ex, he tried something new, obviously he wasn't the one and nor was the timing right. Go have fun, evolve. In the end, we'll all still have regrets even when we do it/life our way. Everyone I've ever talked to that is 70+, when they have a heart attack, it runs thru their mind, "this can't end here, I still have too much to do". And that's directly from my Dad. He had his heart attack, survived it, fortunately was taken care of before it permanently damaged his faculties and other capabilities. So he watches things, takes his meds and not more than 6 months after the heart attack, they sell their house, buy another in the Carolina mountains and they move. There you have it, he's doing what he wants to do right up until the end.

    And that's what each of us should be doing.
     
  19. rob_just_rob

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    Wow, this entire thread, and this post in particular, has left me with a seriously bad taste in my mouth.

    I hate it when people provide evidence supporting my view of human nature.
    :sad2:
     
  20. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    i have slepted with alot of married women, and the a few of the reasons they do it:

    1. NOT GETTING FUCKED AT HOME
    2. dont find husband attractive
    3. bored housewife looking for fun. (thank god for the soaps and the gym)