A mortician was working late one night. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, he made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest cock he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive penis. It must! be saved for posterity." So he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase and took it home. "I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"