I was in the Army about 30 years ago when I was 18/19. My high school didn’t have showers and I had almost no experience seeing another dick. This was before the Internet so I had only seen a few porn movies on videotape and only one guy who was noticeably large – and that was when erect. So I was understandably nervous when I went into the shower. I have a pretty decent size but only when hard. I am definitely a grower and – like the overwhelming majority of guys I have seen – unimpressively small when soft. I was also completely straight (I developed some curiosity decades later). And at the time, even though I was from New York, being openly gay wasn’t really accepted outside of certain parts of Manhattan and it was still really a big deal if somebody was suspected of being gay or openly gay, certainly among teenagers in my middle-class neighborhood. So the idea that you might stare at a guy’s dick in the shower was a real no-no
But I had insecurities because, while I am above average, I am certainly not huge. And I had heard stories of people being really huge (no one I knew), so you are going into that situation feeling concerned for some reason (at least at that time in our society)
So in basic training, I first went into the showers and I was like “okay, no big deal. It’s what they do in sports, etc.” And trying to recollect now, I don’t remember anyone being particularly large. Pretty much everyone was pretty small when soft. The showers were open and probably about 20 guys would be showering at one time. But eventually I must’ve been positioned close to this guy from Pittsburgh – black guy – probably about 5-9 with a good build – and he was fucking HUGE. Soft. I can remember staring straight at it – WHILE talking to him (we were friendly) – and it was just hanging down so low and it was SO fucking thick and had a really big head, I was just literally dumbstruck. I wasn’t mentally prepared for that and I wasn’t turned on or anything, but I was just like shocked. I could picture that in my mind for a very long time afterwards but I was like “okay, he’s black. I’ve heard black guys are real big.” Now, I went to basic with other black guys and none of them were memorable or above-average or anything but I still kind of chalked that up to this guy’s race. That did not prepare me for what I encountered when I went to the next level of training after basic. There was this white guy from Wisconsin – probably about 5-9/5-10, decent build – totally unremarkable looking otherwise although I guess maybe he was a good-looking guy to some extent. And all of us were in pretty good shape. The bathrooms were smaller in those barracks and I think I remember maybe like 8 guys at a time being able to shower at the same time at this facility. But other guys were around, using the sinks or waiting to use the shower, or whatever. So there was always probably about 15-20 guys around. And this guy was really big soft. The black guy was probably bigger – certainly thicker – but this guy was still hanging down probably 6.5 inches soft – AND looking pretty thick – and I just couldn’t stop staring at it. Frankly, I was intimidated by it. I had a girlfriend at the time and I’ve always had a thing about having girls be really attracted to me. So I just had this image of a girl I was interested in seeing this thing and just totally being sexual with this guy and loving it while I was now considered no longer desirable. It’s amazing the way the mind works and I was pretty young at the time
I still think about that guy’s thing and I kind of would love to be around it. Because it was kind of “allowed” at that time because it was an army locker room situation. I have a disability so I don’t go into general locker room showers anymore so I have not been around anything like that since my Army days. I don’t know if I would do anything now – I might. I definitely developed some strong curiosity in that area starting about 5 years ago – but this guy KNEW what he had and he embarrassed me in front of everyone by yelling something like “[this guy]’s a meat gazer!” and I got SO embarrassed. So there was something about his attitude and my curiosity of recent years, AND that I knew him so it wasn’t like a stranger, but if he was around me right now and kind of took it out and “made me” go down on him – I think I semi-reluctantly would
It was just kind of intimidating and it felt like the type of thing that has to be worshiped. Especially now that I have watched all of this porn and developed some different interests.
Probably about 5 years ago I started becoming interested in big dicks in porn and got very serious about interacting with one a couple of years ago, but ultimately didn’t. My interest now in that has lessened but I do fairly often watch guys on Chaturbate or solo jacking porn videos, or whatever. But I still think about that guy in the Army a lot. And I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I remain straight in “action,” and I think I probably will for a while for some time but I am kind of scared how I would react if I came across one like that, especially from a guy I was already friendly with and who I learned about it ahead of time about, and who was cocky about it, and took it out knowing what conflicting feelings it aroused in me.
This is all true and I suspect you guys will like this story a lot