Which is worse? Veiled bigotry or your good old fashioned common or garden bigotry? Some background. We had a few problems with my partner's parents when we first got together 23 years ago. We've lived away from the region for the last 20 years and recently moved back. Things between the 4 of us were pretty good until recently. They often visited us abroad for holidays and in Scotland prior to us moving abroad. We recently announced our civil partnership and it has all kicked off again. His father has stated he is not attending giving some stupid excuse as a reason. His Mother started making excuses for his father but in the process made it very obvious that she is far from accepting and as open minded as we both thought. My partner is not upset in the least but he is very angry. I'm angry too as I feel like I have been conned over the years. My Partner and his Mother have always had a very on/off relationship. I have always encouraged him to keep in touch and tried to keep things right between them. That won't be happening again. We've talked a lot in the last couple of days and have decided this has come about because we are living back in the area. His Mother is totally driven by "what other people think". It was easy for her when we didn't live here but not so now we are back. My parents? Totally fabulous as always. They are really hurt for my partner and have been really helpful towards him with advice. I suppose there are two parts to my original question now I have laid this all out. Is veiled bigotry worse than in your face bigotry? What do you make of people who put what other people think before important relationships ie their kids?