glossopoiesis: Hi So this is my probleme. I've posted shit befor on here, and well, it'll be explained. I'm 15. I am what i call bipolaris and I have a tendenty to depressions. I have made a major depression at the begining of my 15th year alive that last for 8 or 9 months. Now adays, everything has been extreamly good. I made new friends, new love is blooming, until just recently. A week or two ago, I started to get abit down. I wasn't seeing anyone, I cut all contacts with people to isolate my self, unconciously. Now I'm really down, and I havn't bveen so for about 11 months. I am what people around call a genius. I don't because, well that'll be explained later. I'm 15 and I started to have interest into iceland at the age of 9. Ever since then my interest in germanology has increased largely, and today I can understand at differnet levels 8 languages, 7 of them self thaught. I was allways teased at groundschool because I was an outsider even then. I was listening to radiohead at 8 and portishead as well. This says, I'm no geek. I dress decently or so I try. But my main probleme is that, I have great dificulties to set my opinion on my self. Sometimes I am proud of my self, sometimes I hate my self. But allthat was gone reacently. #Exept one thing. I've allways had enourmous probleme dealing with my penis size. I believe that it is abit over 8" or so right now. But to me, it is allways so little. I would never believe someone telling me it's big in real life. Or atleast, i don't believe my self. I have a huge complexe about it. Last summer while in depression I use what psychologist call the mask of the sexuality. I hid my self behind my cock so I wouldn't see the reality. I became a daily camwhore. I was allways on eyeball chat, showing off my cock, to make me feel better. When I came out of my depression by my self, I stopped it completely. A week ago I reinstaled it. I felt a need to pop up my self esteem with abit of the awe of less lucky people. Even so, on cam it looks 9". So then it triggered my mind as to me being depressed. But all this is just background My true probleme that has been there for so ever long is the way I see my penis. When I measur it, when I see it gopes to 8", i'm pround and happy. It even turns me on, since it's rather new. But then, I allways lie to my self, telling my self that i'm 8.5 or more. pushing the ruler hard against the skin. I'm not comfortable with the real reality. What ever I do, if I find my cock big one day, the other day shall it be little. So, now I'm asking for help. Any ways I could get to see my cock and accept it. in a way in which I wouldn't have to exagerate the thruth . thanks... I know this post might be disordered... that's an other thing. I have trouble taking all my ideas and putting them clearly. I'm dislexic, this shows a part of the reality. I feel when I'm down like if I had been sitting for a real long time and I just stood up. A lack of blood to the head, or rush. Notyhing can be taken individualy. It's just a big bucket of boiling disorder.