Birds of a feather, or opposites attract?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by _avg_, Apr 29, 2008.

?

What makes the best pairing?

  1. It's like we were seperated at birth...

    5 vote(s)
    13.5%
  2. It's like we're from different planets...

    3 vote(s)
    8.1%
  3. More alike than unalike...

    24 vote(s)
    64.9%
  4. More unalike than alike...

    5 vote(s)
    13.5%
  1. _avg_

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    In your experiences, what makes for the best pairing?
     
  2. HazelGod

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    I'm going with birds of a feather, at least where sex is concerned. The opposite thing is only amusing for so long...once the novelty wears off, all those opposites just really irritate you. Better to be paired up with someone who's closer to your mirror image than your polar opposite.
     
  3. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Selected "More unalike than alike".

    I prefer a partner different enough to be interesting, but less so on fundamental issues. For my life I see a benefit in difference - I like to learn and feel sharing my life and experiences with someone who has a different point of view, and vice versa, would help us grow into better, more aware people... and I love a good debate!
     
  4. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    I want partners with similar values as mine - and share many interests. But not necessarily all the same interests. So I went with "More unalike than alike".
     
  5. Ethyl

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    Can't answer the poll. Too simplified. There's plenty of room between 'birds of a feather' and 'opposites attract'. Doesn't have to be "either/or".

    My partner and I are similar in that we share the same values, principles, philosophy, goals, and general outlook on life. Some of our interests differ but we've found they make each of us more interesting to the other; plus, those interests gave us opportunities to learn things to which we normally would not have been exposed.
     
  6. DC_DEEP

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    ^^What she said^^

    I think there have to be some common interests, and some differing interests.

    It works out quite well for my partner and me. We found the most amazing combination of similarities and differences, and with the differences, it seems that we each have strengths where the other has weaknesses.

    Together, we have an unbelievable synergy; our partnership is much, much, much greater than the sum of the two individuals.
     
  7. HazelGod

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    You guys are all googly-eyed over one another...blech...get a room, already!

    :tongue:
     
  8. katiedoodles

    katiedoodles New Member

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    Birds of a feather definitly! For me I prefer to have a guy who is alot like me, and has been brought up with the same values and likes that I have. That being said I like to have seperate interests too. I'm not one of those girls that needs to be with my partner every second of everyday. I have dated people that are complete oppisites of me and that never works out we are just to different and not what I want out of a relationship. I like guys that are more like me because we can have fun doing things that we both like not one suffering doing something completly different than what they are into.
     
  9. QuiteOne

    QuiteOne New Member

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    Opposites attract for me. I'm white and my partners black. We're from different countries and have completely different backgrounds. Each day is a new learning experience. When I see gay men together that look like clones it makes me gag.
     
  10. Phil Ayesho

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    I tried opposites... hot at first, ended up hating each other.

    Then I met a woman who sees the world the same way I do.
    Life has been wonderful ever since.
     
  11. _avg_

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    Certainly, but had I made "alike in all the right areas" an option, who would've chosen otherwise?!

    Would you say you and your partner are more alike or unalike?
     
  12. DC_DEEP

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    We have got a room. Care to join us?
     
  13. Ethyl

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    I'd say we're much more alike than not. My partner and I both had absolute needs and wants and were fortunate to find those in one another, however, we each have some varying talents/abilities/passions that, while we don't share as passions, we find interesting and often prove to be learning experiences.
     
  14. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I agree some shared fundamental values are necessary - I could never be involved with someone who didn't have the same love of freedom and belief in respecting people that I do. But everything else - religion, cultural practices, race, political affiliation, sexuality (I would definitely marry someone Bi) are open.

    Ita.
    It is the too alike couple that gives me douche chills. Their conversations invariably end with, "I was thinking the same thing!!", that has to be boring. Comfortable, sure, but at some point I'd desire something different. :shrug:

    and if they look like siblings too, oh boy.
     
  15. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Birds of a feather.
    I want a man who has the same sick, twisted way of looking at things.
    Has the same sex drive.
    A man with a strong mind and a strong will and a strong body.
     
  16. D_Budd_Hert

    D_Budd_Hert New Member

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    <<<< buys ropes,candles,soaks whips.....mails plane ticket to Dragonfly
     
  17. B_The Greek Dude

    B_The Greek Dude New Member

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    Well, even though we all have a "type" that we'd look for given the choice, attraction for someone isn't usually something you can turn on or off, so if I hear someone with a cute voice, or nice eyes, etc. . .i'll be attracted to them.

    For example: I normally don't like guys that are taller than me, but I once developed the biggest crush on a guy that was 6'5.
     
  18. sdbg

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    I'm with HazelGod on this one. I know that opposites attract and complement each other, yet there is that certain vibe you have with someone who likes many of the same things that you do.
     
  19. _avg_

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    I do think a successful relationship is built upon many shared interests. At the same time, it's good for each person to have separate interest to which they can 'retreat' for personal space or which they can share with their partner as a new experience.
     
  20. helgaleena

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    I cannot choose. I have never met anyone like myself enough to fell as if we were from the 'same planet' even in my own family. By default I must have relationships with those who are different. Usually they are even the opposite sex!
    How much they differ varies, but each was unique and I have a hard time saying any of them was an exact opposite.
     
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