Bisexual Female: Does my female friend want me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by vanessa_c, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. vanessa_c

    vanessa_c Member

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    Here's the background to this story.

    We've been very close friends for 2 years. All that time she's had about 3 or 4 boyfriends.

    However, we're very lovely and touchy with each other, especially when drunk.

    The problem here is that I'm bi (I haven't told her) and I find extremely attractive. I haven't ever made a move on her because I assume she's straight.

    However, whenever we go out dancing, things get hot and heavy with us. We're often grinding on each other's pussy, dancing intimately face to face. The odd thing is that when both of us are out alone, we're all about each other and never respond to any advances from guys.

    Another thing is that our dancing gets progressively suggestive as the night (and alcohol) goes on. So much so, that our mutual male friend who hangs out with us on some nights, gets so many questions about if we're lesbians etc.

    On a couple occasions, we have been dancing very intimately on the lounge couches in clubs. Basically, I (the smaller one) sit between her legs while she sits and basically give her a lap dance (pressing my butt up against her pussy). Often times I'll back and be kissing her neck while we do this. Also, she's the one who seems to be encouraging it. I just simply go along, but don't push forward.

    I get insanely wet when we do this, I can only assume she feels the same way as well?

    In addition to our dancing, we're extremely lovey dovey with each other often saying how much we love and miss in each other (we live pretty far away so we only see each other every 2 weeks or so).

    Now the signs seem obvious doesn't it?

    Well I thought so too, so last month I asked her out of the blue to by my friend. First I said I was bi, then asked her.

    Her response "I can't be bi or gay, it's not that I don't find you attractive, it's just I can't feel that way'.

    Since then we've had several arguments (without mentioning what happened, just bitching at each other for not caring), and haven't spoken to each other since.

    I miss her so much :(

    Last week I told one of my gay male friends what happened and he said he reacted exactly the same way when his first gay love (who he spent all his time with) finally kissed him. He said he pushed him off, said he wasn't gay and then was cold to him until they just stopped talking.

    He then said, after 9 months he realized he was gay, but afraid to admit it to himself.

    This is exactly how my friend reacted with me, she denied it nicely, then was cold (never wanted to discuss it) until we "broke up".

    Could it be that's afraid to admit her bi or gay feelings toward me? Is this common?

    What can i do (if anything) to make feel comfortable enough to admit it?

    My gay friend is saying I should win her trust back, then kiss her. He says if she objects, be forceful and kiss her more until she's into it and wants it herself (is this rape?lol).

    I'm so hurt and confused by all this. We're both young (low twenties) and while I'm very comfortable admitting I'm bi, I don't think she is.

    In summary my questions are:

    1. Does she have gay or bi feelings toward me?
    2. Does her reaction to me admitting my feelings, mean she has them for me as well, but is afraid to admit it?

    Also, in a Large Penis related topic.
    I have a boyfriend who has a large cock (8.5 x 6.5) and sex is amazing with him.

    Now is it weird that I want my female friend and him to hook up and have sex as well? I love them both and the idea of them having sex turns me on sooooo much. Am I crazy?

    I used to let two of them dance as vulgar as they wanted to when we partied at clubs. My other female friends thought I was insane.
     
  2. monel

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    My first reaction to your thread was "God, I hope so!" Shallow, I know butyou have a really HOT avatar. In any event, with all due respect to your gay friend, his advise is BS an liable to lose you a friend permanently and maybe worse. If you don't know if your friend want you there is no way we can. So I think you must assume she is straighht. Go and tell her that you miss her and even though you are bi, you have always respected her boundaries and will continue to do so. If she is conflicted, let her come to that conclusion for herself, just as your gay friend did. She does not need you to force the issue and will not likely appreciate it even if she does decide she is bi/gay.

    Oh and with regard to your friend and boyfriend getting it on; nice fantasy. Keep it that way. Good luck.
     
  3. vanessa_c

    vanessa_c Member

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    Hey thanks, well I was very hesitant to 'rape' her. I meant more along the lines of making a move on her when the time is right.

    But as you suggested, I should respect her boundaries.
    But based on her behavior, especially when we're out alone dancing, do you think she's bi?

    I forgot to mention one time, early last year, we agreed to meet up at this big club. We couldn't find eachother, and she then started messaging me 'come find me, I'm horny and want to dance'. I played it off as her being drunk, but when I did see her, she was all over me on the dance floor..so to speak.
     
  4. fire77

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    At least you were honest with her about your bi sexuality and she seemed responsive enough to your sexual advances while clubbing. I am not sure why she just refused you as a friend because you are bi. I have few gay and bi friends, I don't just breakup with them because I found out they were gay and even the ones who make advances at me or my husband, I just tell them I am not interested at this time but maybe one day I'll change my mind and leave it to that.
     
  5. spoon

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    give your friend some space. putting into words might have scared her, maybe she has feelings for you, but, was in denial. give it a bit of time. and, then call just to say hi.
     
  6. MickeyLee

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    *koff*dude*koff*
     
  7. vanessa_c

    vanessa_c Member

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    I can't call, she changed her number and blocked on facebook:( only hope I hav is taking a 2 hour drive and hope she's home.

    She told my boyfriend last month, she was still mad at me and not ready to have me back in her life.

    She always frequently she can't be bi becuase it would disappoint her family.

    I'm 90% sure she is or was into (I seem to always had control over her, like if I didn't like a guy she dating, she'd break up wit him etc). However, now she's acting so weird.

    When we broke up it was because she kept canceling on me. I told her my other new friend (a hot bi girl, who she knew was into me but I wasn't into her) would drop anything to see me, but she never does anymore. That led to a big argument and we sort of mutually broke up.

    It was the next day she changed her number (despite having this current number for 3 years).
     
  8. monel

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    I don't think so ML. Call me nieve but those are not the panties of a dude.:biggrin1:
     
  9. MickeyLee

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    those might not be "her" panties :rolleyes:
     
  10. monel

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    If the reason she gives for her not being Bi is that it would disappoint her family then I soul be inclined to think she is but in denial. Your being so comfortable with who you are may have scared her. All the more reason for you to respect her boundaries. If she wont take your calls go and see her in person. Let her know that she need not feel anymore threatened than she ever did. If she still cares for you as a friend, she'll come around.

    PS. Please say you're not a dude.
     
  11. monel

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    That couldn't be. Who would ever do such a thing? Oh the deceit!
     
  12. MickeyLee

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    OP is the rare two-prong wank fodder post.

    wank one - i am a bisexual woman. i am confused. ladies, please tell me about your bisexual experience. *fapfapfap*

    wank two - i am a bisexual women. my man's cock is huge. please think about my big dick man fucking me and my girl crush. men, PM me asking questions about my sex life and sex with women. *fapfapfapfap*

    *pets Monel* think of the OP as a mall santa. doesn't mean santa ain't real. he's just not working the evening shift in a kiosk outside of the food court.
     
  13. monel

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    I am just so glad, ML, that you are really the cutest bisexual gal in dinosaur footy pajamas. When all else fails me at least I have that on which to cling.:smile:
     
  14. MickeyLee

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    i don't actually have those exact pajamas. *is sad*
    i really, really, really want a pair. with plushie spines. *dreams*

    :kiss: ya know, making me blush is all kinds of bad for my reputation. *appears very cross and grumpy*
     
  15. monel

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    NOOOOOooooooo...........!

    Well at least you're still cute. You can't take that away from me......please don't......please?
     
    #15 monel, Jul 9, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2011
  16. MickeyLee

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    i am frippin adorable :tongue1:
     
  17. ManofThunder

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    I concur.
     
  18. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Yes..yes you are......*sniffle*....<--needs ML hugs..with or without:mischievous: dino foot pj's.
     
  19. D_JuanAFock

    D_JuanAFock New Member

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    I have never been big on clubs, so I am gonna go ahead and ask somebody to explain it to me... since I have seen it happen all the time... why is this:
    "We're often grinding on each other's pussy, dancing intimately face to face."
    considered dancing?
     
  20. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    It's something that the DUDE pulled out of his fevered imagination.
     
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