Bisexual guys: Where are they (in real life)?

playainda336

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I'm not sure why you assume that bisexual men would only pursue other bisexual men, but I agree with your question about how bisexual guys find each other. I think someone mentioned the Internet as one possibility.
Well, mainly for the other reasons I pointed out as far as an openly bi guy's scrutiny from a gay man and from a female. With another bisexual male, none of that would be a problem.
 

wingnut84

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Well, mainly for the other reasons I pointed out as far as an openly bi guy's scrutiny from a gay man and from a female. With another bisexual male, none of that would be a problem.

I don't really care much for gay men sexually, as a rule. I prefer guys who share with whom I share a lot of the same hobbies.:wink: Can't say I go out of my way to pursue bi guys either, although if things happen they happen. I'm pretty much just a lady-chaser and I'm pretty up front about my preferences with said ladies. Actually a majority of girls are cool with it once you've made it clear how into them you are. A lot of them even find it pretty hot!:biggrin1: Or maybe I just don't go after the bigoted ones to begin with :confused:
 

Pene_Negro_Grande

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Bisexual guys: Where are they (in real life)?

So lately I have been thinking I should expand my net to include bi-guys; but have no idea where the single bi-guys hide. Do they have a secret code amongst themselves?

Are the bisexual guys the ones sporting backwards baseball hats and goatees? :confused: Are they the ones who cuff their dark rinse jeans just so, or are they the ones wearing silver thumb rings and Raymond Weil watches?

Maybe the problem is that society tends not to have the same view of bi-sexual men as they do of bi-sexual women. Most people think bi-sexual women are cool; but they think bi-sexual men are just gays who aren't ballsy enough to come out of the closet yet. :frown1:

In my experience bi-sexual guys hang out in straight clubs....They are usually the best dressed hot guy w/hot chicks....And they chase women for the challenge....They are men so they know what to get a man so it's not a challenge at all (we are easy)....And they done slept w/so many women - they experimenting w/guys since all the girls consider them players....It's a game to me - If I can't have the hottest girl I want at the club - I will hookup w/my competition (the hot) to satisfy myself....I think it is a competition thing among men and I am very competitive (lol)....
 

fortiesfun

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It is the nature of bisexuality itself that renders it invisible in plain sight. (The rule of the excluded middle...?)

As the brilliant Marjorie Garber has noted, bisexuality is not so much a category as a category-buster.

Here's why: There are a few people (like the aforementioned Ian the Tall) that actually maintain a menage-a-trios, but the vast majority of bisexuals are working things out in a very different way. The most common pattern among bisexuals is that they maintain a long-term commitment to a stable relationship with one gender, and they have occasional short-term things on the side with the other. In either case, when you are meeting them you are reading them through the guise of a seeming monosexuality.

Let's take for example a married man who occasionally has very short-term flings with other men. Most people who meet him will know him as a married man and assume he is str8. A minority of people will meet him while he is pursuing his interest in male/male sex, but to them (once he has slipped his wedding ring in his pocket) he will look indistinguishable from those who are just plain gay.

(Statistically, by the way, about the same number of bi men actually fit the opposite profile. That is, they maintain long-term gay relationships, but when the moon is full and the partner is on a business trip, will hit the sack with a women for a one-nighter. Same phenomenon, just in the photo-reversed flavor.)

The odds that when you encounter an individual s/he will have no obvious affiliations that would lead you to believe s/he is already either het or homo, and is openly and equally interested in going home with a partner of either sex are very, very low.

Where are they? Well, the highest odds (of course) are that they go to any place where self-defined hets and self-identifying homos both congregate: the opera, clubs, and recreational resorts, etc.
 

Pene_Negro_Grande

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My experience to talking to lots of men leads me to believe that all men and women are basically bi sexual. We are howver, programmed by society to leane one way or another. Put a bunch of guys in a particular situation and for reasons of either deep friendship or sheer horn they will end up having 'fun' together.

From my experience - I totally agree....
 

Pye

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I feel that being bi is very difficult. It sounds great but it isn't "all that".
I find myself being sexually attracted more to men and emotionally attracted more to women.

As was stated by others in this post it's difficult to come out as "bi". People believe that you're either afraid to say you're gay or you're just confused.

There has been one bi guy that I met that I REALLY like..but of course he's taken and we've talked about the fact that "if we had met years ago" but he's married with children and lives a double live in secrecy.
I had dated a girl that was great and she asked about my sexuality and although she was understanding we also couldn't continue the relationship as she couldn't get over the fact that I'd want to put my "dick in some guy's poo-poo hole".

It's very hard to find guys that I'm attracted to enough to want to date. I find some gay guys just "too gay" or "too proud" or "to active" in my opinion. Why is there a need to be proud of one's sexuality? Why can't we just "be"? (I'll probably get a lot of flack about this one)
 

B_josiah852

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These idea's and this belief system about bi sexual men are very interesting to say the least. My bottom line is simply: I am romantically attracted to females. I am only sexually attracted to males.

I had my first sexual encounter with another male when we were preteens. I also had a sexual encounter with this guys sister preteen. I found that I really enjoyed sex with both. I received my first blow job from a male friend when I was 13. My first blow job from a female was when I was 15. I found both of them very pleasing.

I felt just sexual until I was in my upper 30's and would have sex with anyone I could. But as I have gotten older I found myself only wanting sex with who I was attracted to in certain ways. I am not only attracted to males with certain body types they also have to carry themselves in a certain manner. Confindent is the most important. And this is true for the females I am attracted to.

Are the bisexual guys the ones sporting backwards baseball hats and goatees? Are they the ones who cuff their dark rinse jeans just so, or are they the ones wearing silver thumb rings and Raymond Weil watches?

Well I actually wear a Rolex and a Tag Heuer watch when I am feeling Metrosexual. Both watches are expensive knock offs of the real thing. I just manage to find stuff like this when I hit garage sales. But I am very comfortable in my overalls when I work. Yes I do wear my ball caps backwards and do sport a goatee most of the time. But I don't think any of these has anything to do with my sexuality.



(Try the grocery store or the library *shrugs) Actually I won't look for either at the grocery store. I might at the health food store. But I find that making eye contact with a male I find attracted the most sucessfull way of finding a male sexual partner and this is done most of the time at the gym. And the gym is a smorgesboard for finding women looking for a date.

In my experience (as a man who more or less identifies as bisexual) there is the HUGE double-standard. Bisexual women in a way are considered more feminine, while bisexual men are also seen as more feminine (despite my complete lack of attraction to a "femmy" man). Also a lot of straight women see us as promiscuous disease storehouses.

Yes I think the above paragraph is as true as it can get. I am not feminine and do not wish to ever be thought of as feminine. So not everyone will ever know of my attraction to some males. As far as being a promiscuous disease storehouse: Never had a std and I practice safe sex with both male and female. Have for many years and will continue to do so.

I have been in relationships with husbands and wives that wanted sex with a bi male with a larger than avg penis. Yes a couple of the guys were small sexually and enjoyed watching their wives with better hung males and yes most of those males wanted to satisfy me in the same way their wives did.

I have dated a couple of females that are bi and have had three ways with them and a gf of theirs. Wonderful.

But it all boils down to the fact that I am romantically and sexually attracted to females and only sexually attracted to males. Can't tell you exactly why I feel this way but I do. I am not in hiding, I just don't advertise for males the same way I do females.

Once you've done both you'll love bi sexuality the most. Not just male not just female.
 

B_Hung Jon

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it is a myth...we are just a figment of the underworld. :)
where are they? you make it sound like we are deep sea anglars.lol


I like this comment a lot because it shows that people have many sides to their personalities Just because I find SOME guys attractive doesn't mean that I want to be intimate with guys generally. Like I've said here in a couple of other threads, I prefer the peeps I fall in love with, not necessarily their body parts; but body parts are great too. I like the notion of "Affectional Orientation".

:biggrin1:
 

Matthew

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I find some gay guys just "too gay" or "too proud" or "to active" in my opinion. Why is there a need to be proud of one's sexuality? Why can't we just "be"? (I'll probably get a lot of flack about this one)

Because without some of us being out, proud and "active," and creating space for all of us, none of us would be able to "just be" whoever we are.

Too much flack for ya?
 

Pene_Negro_Grande

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I don't really care much for gay men sexually, as a rule. I prefer guys who share with whom I share a lot of the same hobbies.:wink: Can't say I go out of my way to pursue bi guys either, although if things happen they happen. I'm pretty much just a lady-chaser and I'm pretty up front about my preferences with said ladies. Actually a majority of girls are cool with it once you've made it clear how into them you are. A lot of them even find it pretty hot!:biggrin1: Or maybe I just don't go after the bigoted ones to begin with :confused:

Wow sounds exactly like what I experience....About time people realize that just because you are bi-sexual - you are not gay....Most of the bi-guys I know (no offence to gay guys) don't like gay guys....Alot want to include chicks in the mix when they fool around....So they have a lot of 3somes and what I call orgies....And from my experience - there is no romantic emotional attachment w/the guys....We are just really good and close friends and don't get jealous when one of us just wants to hook up w/a chick alone....Most of the time it is a competition thing who can get the hottest girl/guy in the club because bi-guys appeal to men and women (women love us/boyfriends hate us)....It's fun when it is both (lol)....
 

dougroberts1

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I'm with Harvey Fierstein on this one - where are all the bisexual guys who live with their boyfriends and sleep with women on the side. Why are all 'bisexual' guys really straight guys who just want a bit of dick on the side.
 

submit452

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I'm with Harvey Fierstein on this one - where are all the bisexual guys who live with their boyfriends and sleep with women on the side. Why are all 'bisexual' guys really straight guys who just want a bit of dick on the side.
Is'nt that one definition of the concept?
 

petewentzlover

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from my experience of being bi myself alot of gay guys dont like the fact that your bi they just think your either greedy or afraid to come out of the closet and thats not the case for everybody as a young boy i felt attracted to both guys and girl i thought i was gay for awhile but i knew i like girls but anyway not every bisexual guy is the same and its true it is a double standard that in our socitey its ok for a woman to bisexual without being called a lesbian
 

B_Hung Jon

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I'm with Harvey Fierstein on this one - where are all the bisexual guys who live with their boyfriends and sleep with women on the side. Why are all 'bisexual' guys really straight guys who just want a bit of dick on the side.


I think it's easier in our society to hang out with girls in clubs, flirt and have fun. And it feels more relaxed to talk intimately with a girl in public than it does with a guy. BUT if I'm super attracted to a guy, then it doesn't make any difference to me. I'll pursue him but not so obviously. I'm one of those "bi" guys who live with my g/f but make love with guys too. I'm not just interested in a bit of dick on the side but the whole person,male or female.
 

fortiesfun

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I'm with Harvey Fierstein on this one - where are all the bisexual guys who live with their boyfriends and sleep with women on the side. Why are all 'bisexual' guys really straight guys who just want a bit of dick on the side.
There were two surveys in the late '90s, one American and one European, that found that 80% of "gay" men had had sex with a woman within the previous 5 years. 80%! The assumption that all bisexual men are straight guys who fuck around is simply not true. (Pace, but Harvey is a great actor not a great researcher.)
 

playainda336

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There were two surveys in the late '90s, one American and one European, that found that 80% of "gay" men had had sex with a woman within the previous 5 years. 80%! The assumption that all bisexual men are straight guys who fuck around is simply not true. (Pace, but Harvey is a great actor not a great researcher.)
If one only pursues men and calls himself a bisexual is one really a bisexual or does he say it to comfort himself in his sexuality? Or maybe to prove a point?

The fact that 80% of the gay men had sex with a woman in the past five years? Well if they had sex with a woman five years ago and didn't have one the next year does that remove their "bisexuality"?