Bisexuality and you...well me..but you too

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by SpitFireWheels, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. SpitFireWheels

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    Just a little problem I've been coming across for a while now.

    Recently I've started to let everyone know that i'm bi because basically I don't care anymore. People can't seem to grasp how I feel in general and it kind of bugs me. Like, people will say "Well being bi is just a road stop to gay town" or "Do you prefer men or women more? Honestly, for me it's not about the sex. It's basically my capacity to love a man or a woman equally. I don't care if they have a penis or a vag, if I'm attracted to them i'll go for it without question. It just kind of bugs me how some people who i'm close to will actually say this to me and they can't really grasp the concept. I've also said that it lowers my chances of not having a date on friday night? (so far that idea has failed me miserably:p)

    How about anyone else? Anyone else feel this way or am I just one whacked out kind of guy? Thoughts/comments appreciated!

    ps..if if the typing on this is horrible I apologize. I tore a ligament in my wrist today so I'm trying to type with one hand:p
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

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    Tore a ligament in your wrist, a likely story :)

    I can understand you wanting to be honest but really is your sexuality anyone's business, I don't advocate hiding it but I don't see the need for everyone I know to know what my sexuality is.
     
  3. submit452

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    Dude welcome to my world. I'm bisexual and I've not totally come out but I know how you feel. People in school who knew I was bi looked on me like an oddity. I feel better about my self now, but I think if you're bi you have to understand that in a society that is very black and white people don't understand the grayier areas like bisexuality we as bisexuals have the gift of liking both sexes and can love them for many different reasons. Don't feel bad about yourself be PROUD. to be who you are and don't let people who don't understand the duality of your sexuality and the different reasons we fall in love with who we chose stop you from living your life.
     
  4. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Yeah, you'll hear that gaytown saying time and again. Ignore it. Bisexuality is likely more common that pure heterosexuality or homosexuality. I've stopped trying to get people to understand and I use the terms gay and bi interchangeably. The key is to not try to fit a label but to just be yourself. Over time your friends and family will come to understand just what's going on and what bisexuality is for you.
     
  5. BigLittleMan

    BigLittleMan New Member

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    here is my experience with bisexuals:

    they want the freedom to have sex with a man but the security (and social acceptance) of settling down with a woman. before you get all bent out of shape, answer this question--when was the last time you heard of a "bisexual" man sneaking out on his boyfriend to have sex with a woman? never.

    my work here is done.

    blm
     
  6. SpitFireWheels

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    If they were sneaking you wouldn't know anyway, so that point is null/void :)

    EDIT: and that's not really the point i'm trying to make here.. Cheating is cheating no matter who does it...I don't care if you're bi/gay/straight. If you're stepping out on the one you love it's in the wrong anyway
     
  7. playainda336

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    It's seems that the dilemma of a bisexual man is that homosexuals and heterosexuals treat you as the proverbial black sheep on both sides. I say if you like both, enjoy both. What's wrong with someone who wants the security of being with a woman? If that's what he wants, let him have it. Why not?

    "It's not fair, he should be with me?" Too bad. He's bisexual. Get over it. He wants both. Whatever choice he makes will be the choice he makes and it will be because that's what makes him most comfortable. If he can sneak out on a woman to be with a man, he can sneak out on a man to be with a woman. It works both ways. But why does the bisexual also have to be promiscuous? And does the fact that a bisexual man is in a relationship with a man negate the fact that he still has feelings (emotional/sexual/etc.) for women? No, otherwise he wouldn't be bisexual.

    I think a problem could be that many gay people may identify as bisexual in order to attempt some more acceptance in society. And thus when a true bisexual appears, people are like "Yeah, right...you're just gay."

    Sounds like a perplexing situation to me. =\
     
  8. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Spitfire, I feel you. It's partly politics. Bi muddies the waters.

    U be U.
     
  9. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    To make it even more complicated, try the theory that everyone is bisexual. That's what I believe. (What I mean is, I think everyone is bisexual on a subconscious level, but not everyone acts it out.)
     
  10. D_Roderick Beresford Stiffington IV

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    This is an interesting topic to me considering I just started going out with a gay guy, and at first he didn't understand the concept of being a bisexual, but I explained it verbatim how you explained it in your first post and he gets it. The other more common stereotype I hear about being bisexual is that we can't be trusted, and we'll fuck anything with a pulse. People think we choose to be bisexual just to enhance our chances of getting sex, I haven't met any bisexual person who looks at it that way.
     
  11. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    I'd say about half of straight guys never think of it at all. The other half know another guy they'd do if they weren't straight and/or if it wasn't a fantasy/movie star type.
     
  12. Strontium

    Strontium New Member

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    Wrong! Lol. I was just talking today to a bi friend who did exactly that thing! (He has a bf, but cheated with a girl)

    But back to the main topic:

    I know exactly how you feel, Spitfirewheels. It seems many folks cant understand sexual fluidity, and want an absolute categorisation of your sexuality. Both straights and gays can be equally guilty of this.
     
  13. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    Yes, I know what you mean too, Spitfirewheels. Ignore labels. Live life.
     
  14. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Thanks so much for explaining your situation so well. I understand it because I'm similar to you. Maybe bisexuality isn't the best word to use to describe some of us because as you say it's not about the sex. It's about who you're attracted to and who you may love or fall in love with.

    :biggrin1:
     
  15. Timbo5678

    Timbo5678 New Member

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    Sorry BLM
    You need to get out into the world. I know of many, many cases of bisexual guys who have snuck out on their boyfriends to have sex with women. It's really quite usual in NYC, SF and LA, places where I've lived and been active in the bisexual community.

    Then there are those who can't quite see how guys who have boyfriends, but also sleep with women are bisexual, but believe me, all of it goes all the way in both directions!

    Been there, done that
     
  16. Big en

    Big en New Member

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    I agree with this but I also think in my case bisexuallty was a necessary stepping stone for me to come to grips with my homosexuality. I was probably not bisexual but in my mind it made sense because I was having sex with both female and male. But maybe I was just trying to gain acceptance??? Who knows it was a wierd time...

    I think a problem could be that many gay people may identify as bisexual in order to attempt some more acceptance in society. And thus when a true bisexual appears, people are like "Yeah, right...you're just gay."

    Sounds like a perplexing situation to me. =\[/quote]
     
  17. frizzle

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    Bah, you're just greedy.
     
  18. avg_joe

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    I couldn't agree more with you.
     
  19. D_Mallaber Manynuts

    D_Mallaber Manynuts New Member

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    Sexuality is a spectrum, only you know where you are on it. You find people at the extremes but the majority are between the 2!
     
  20. rimmer9

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    Fully bi here, always have been.
     
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