Bisexuality -- easier for women than men?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_henry miller, May 10, 2009.

  1. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Just wondering what others' thoughts on this may be.

    I remember a while ago reading a woman on some other forum ask, "Why is it so hard for so many men to admit that they are bisexual?" Another friend recently told me that where he comes from it is sort of okay for a woman to be bisexual, but bisexual men are basically seen as "gay" and there is more discrimination aganst gay men than against lesbians. He said this is because men are the ones with most of the power, and a man who is gay or bisexual could be a real threat to "the system."

    Biphobia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
    #1 B_henry miller, May 10, 2009
    Last edited: May 10, 2009
  2. matt_koko

    matt_koko New Member

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    I can say I'm not bisexual, yet love dick.
    I would never a relationship with a man, infact that whole aspect I find very gross. I would also never kiss a man.

    But I'd hop on my knees for a big cock in a nano second.

    I'm wack the head though.
     
  3. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    In our culture, many straight men think that bi women are a turn-on. Bi woman are seldom viewed as unfeminine. But most straight men seem to view bi men as queer and unmasculine.

    Therefore it is often a source of great conflict for bi men to accept that in themselves because the stakes are so high in terms of what other men will think of them, and that distain often seems to get internalized.

    I do find it hard to fathom why many guys who readily admit that they "love dick" are reluctant to identify themselves as bisexual.
     
    #3 B_bi_mmf, May 10, 2009
    Last edited: May 10, 2009
  4. hud01

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    Well I am not wacko and I am the same way.
     
  5. southernstud

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    Women are entitled to be a little more slack by way of sexuality, but it's a matter of being open. The women are able to do a variety of things, it's pretty interesting to look at sexuality among societies, but I agree it is easier for women to express their sexuality than for women.
     
  6. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    I suppose you meant to say "it is easier for women to express their sexuality than it is for men."

    And that's a good point. Society lets women express their emotions in all ways more easily than it allows men.
     
  7. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Go figure. :confused: I don't understand that either.
     
  8. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    Interesting comments about the prevailing attitudes toward woman-on-woman sex versus man-on-man.

    I've sometimes been surprised--or I should say, I used to be surprised--at the disdain of gay men for self-professed bisexual men. Sometimes gay men, at least in forums online, often write as if bisexual men are somehow not really sexual, not really "one of us," and that they are inauthentic in some way. This article from Violet Blue on the topic caught my attention recently: Bye Bye Bisexual / Violet Blue: Does bisexual fakery ruin it for the rest of us?
     
  9. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    But bisexual men are queer though.

    As in they are not heterosexual and I've written more about this in previous posts on this board.

    I'm not sure if women have an easier time expressing their sexuality than men do, even if they are bisexual.

    I know bisexual women and they tell me how a lot of lesbians really dislike them just because they're bisexual or they get told by both heterosexual men and lesbians that they're either really straight or a dyke but just confused. Then there's the idea how if they have a girlfriend how a man should somehow be able to watch them and have a 3 way with them or how they've dated/had relationships with men who thought that just because they were a bisexual woman that it meant that they automatically wanted an open relationship so the guy could have sex with two women at once.

    Also I'm confused as to what people mean by "expressing sexuality"?

    Does that mean being out with pride and without fear? Being open/out about your sexuality? Dating people of the same/opposite gender? Being sexually active with people of the same/opposite gender? Showing public affection to someone of the same/opposite gender?

    It's not always that easy for gay men or lesbians either when it comes to sexuality.

    Congrats Henry Miller.
     
    #9 D_Jerry_Atric, May 10, 2009
    Last edited: May 10, 2009
  10. somewhatcranky

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    i don't know that it's "easier" for anybody...
     
  11. zawfi

    zawfi New Member

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    That's worth saying, for sure.
     
  12. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Girls are soft and nice.
     
  13. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Okay, so, it's not easier. But bisexual women at least seem to be a fad lately. I don't see that with bisexual men.
     
  14. Dr. Algonquin

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    I think it's more accepted for women. First of all women are allowed more freedom in their expression of affection at least in current American society. Women hugging or kissing their friends, referring to each other as girlfriends, commenting on each others sexiness, going to the bathroom together, all completely normal behavior. But guys do any of that it at least raises eyebrows. So naturally women actually experimenting or embracing same-sex coupling is more accepted, especially since so many straight men find it a turn on. Although, from what I've heard, it is true lesbians are less accepting of bi women.

    With bi guys they seem to have more stacked against them. Many straight women are turned off by bi men or would be insecure about having a relationship with one. Many straight men feel even more uncomfortable with bis than gays. Because they can be even harder to detect and because some straight men have the notion that if gay men just knew how great pussy is they'd switch teams. Bi men prove that loving women doesn't exclude one from loving men which makes some straight men question themselves. Finally many gay men don't trust a bi man not to cheat or leave them for a woman for easier public acceptance.

    So while I don't think it's necessarily easy for most men or women having an "alternative lifestyle," I do think bi women have a few less obstacles than bi men. But we're all in the GLBT/SS (Gays, Lesbians, Bis, Transgenders, and Supportive Straights) thing together and hopefully someday we'll get to the point it's not even a sub-culture and we're all just people again. Accept for the Jews and the darkies, lol.

    Hope no one takes offense at that comment. Just meant to point out that as great as it would be I doubt we'll ever have total unity of the human race. Too many people cling to an "us vs. them" mentality and feel the need to hold other groups down to boost their own.
     
  15. bigbull29

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    Very interesting thread!

    Bisexual women are more accepted in society as whole than bisexual men, despite the fact that religous folk and the lesbian community have issues with them.

    A great example: On Playboy Radio, women will talk so easily about the fact of how much they love to eat pussy, suck dick and kiss other women (I know a lot are faking being bisexual for $$$), but men can barely admit to like watching straight gangbangs on there. He can only say he loves pussy, and that he loves to women's panties sometime.

    I may be pushing things a bit here, but I think it's indeed less taboo in the straight porn world for a man to act as a transsexual lesbian than to have sex with another man who looks like a man (not with a shemale, both looking like men). Nothing is really more offensive in our society than big butch men kissing and fucking each other.
     
  16. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    In other words, people have trouble with ambiguity. You are expected to choose sides. I remember one lesbian woman telling me that one reason she doesn't like bisexuals is because they secretly have gay sex while having the "privilege" of straight status in larger society. I mean, it's only common sense that if one is going to be fired upon by both sides and one is expected to "choose sides," one would choose the path of least resistance.

     
  17. heist

    heist New Member

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    I would say it's characterized best as a consequence of the double standard in the world between males and females. Like it or not, as society is, the male opinion has more obvious control than the female opinion, and a lot of straight guys like the idea of lesbians but not gay guys.

    Perhaps a problem is that many guys feel the need to be very loud and public about their personal views, and so it just escalates as guys compete with each other for social dominance. But to do this, they can't go against the "standard," and so the preexisting external anti-bisexual-male sentiments remain alive. After a time, perhaps the sentiments even become internalized, and it becomes a "gut" reaction, perpetuating the problem.
     
  18. pornographicpoet

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    Finally....this subject has come up on LPSG. I'll say this is a right interesting topic. I guess I'm bisexual. I tend to think of bisexual as more of a 50/50 thing. The way I describe myself is my sexual preference is heterosexual but my sexual orientation is bisexual.

    Anyway....I feel that yes, it is harder for men to admit bisexuality than women. I'd go into reasons, but I'd only be re-hashing what others have already said in this thread.

    What I'm wondering about is for all the bi men......do you have problems mentioning your sexuality to girlfriends? I feel that because there is a higher chance of catching an STI in gay male sex than lesbian sex....I'm afraid that if I tell a girl I'm bisexual, she'll be less inclined to sleep with me because she'll think I'm carrying some nasty disease.
     
  19. bigbull29

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    Great post, pornographicpoet!

    Thanks for making that necessary distinction between sexual preference and sexual orientation.

    Yes, admitting to a woman that you're bisexual could make your run away.:eek:
     
  20. pornographicpoet

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    LOL...that's true Bigbull....but it's funny, because on the other hand, if I find out a woman I like is bisexual....it really doesn't faze me in the least.

    Personally, I think just as many men are bisexual as women (I'd estimate maybe 40-50% of the population) but I think the question of power and privilege cause a lot of men to try to fool themselves and society that they are straight even while "experimenting"

    In short...I think probably about 5% of men are gay and 5% of women are lesbian (as in only under all circumstances only attracted to/would/do fool around with the same sex), 40% are bisexual, and 55% are straight (as in only - under all circumstances - only attracted to/would/do fool around with the opposite sex)

    From my own experience....I know a lot of bisexual guys....but they all keep it pretty quiet. Not like the gay guys who are pretty open about their sexuality. (Just my experience) A bisexual guy could always get in a relationship with a woman and unless he's femmy society'll never be the wiser. A gay guy would be miserable if closeted. That's why there are so many more closeted bi guys than closeted gay guys.
     
    #20 pornographicpoet, May 11, 2009
    Last edited: May 11, 2009
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