I'm pretty much asking this of the entire forum. I know here, people tend to be more kind, polite, and openminded to different sexualities and desires, but other places, not so much. I've frequented many chat rooms in Yahoo, IRC and even Active Worlds (although not as much in the past few monthes, if at all). I've not met many people who have kind words to say about bisexuals, on either side of the fence (although I've encoutered far more vitriol from gay chat rooms, which really makes no sense to me). So from what you all know and see in your lives, what exactly IS the consensus and feeling towards bis? Is it really that bad?
Bisexuality
- Thread starter Ecchi
- Start date
hung_big: Well...I don't know how I can be any more biased (seeing as I'm bisexual), but I'm going to put in my 2 cents:
I don't think bisexuality is bad at all. Why would it be any "worse" then being Gay or Straight? In fact, it makes it easier on the person who feels this way, because they can be sexually attracted to either gender. Most people against bis are against gays (MOST) and the general consensus on that (here at least), is that they are narrow-minded fundies.
It comes down to the same thing, if you aren't like them, they don't like you...which really says something about a person. To me these people's opinions should be held in about as much esteem as you do a cockroach. There really is no grounds to hate someone because of their sexuality, because if looked at logically, there are no grounds for their arguments and also because people are born with their sexual preferance predetermined.
Chris
I don't think bisexuality is bad at all. Why would it be any "worse" then being Gay or Straight? In fact, it makes it easier on the person who feels this way, because they can be sexually attracted to either gender. Most people against bis are against gays (MOST) and the general consensus on that (here at least), is that they are narrow-minded fundies.
It comes down to the same thing, if you aren't like them, they don't like you...which really says something about a person. To me these people's opinions should be held in about as much esteem as you do a cockroach. There really is no grounds to hate someone because of their sexuality, because if looked at logically, there are no grounds for their arguments and also because people are born with their sexual preferance predetermined.
Chris
it's usually just yet another case of miserable cunts deciding to hate everything they can't enjoy or benefit from themselves, in a pathetic attempt to assuage their own precarious egos. it's a consistently-proven fact that people who loudly proclaim their disdain of particular spectra of sexuality are usually deeply unhappy about their own sexuality and/or sex lives.
in other words, nothing you're not likely to encounter from the same kind of people anyway.
in other words, nothing you're not likely to encounter from the same kind of people anyway.
Interesting topic. Its been on my mind lately because I have a roommate who is bi and we've talked about it and some of my (gay) friends have added their $.02 worth.
I think hate is too strong a word but there is certainly some hostility, according to my roomy, and at best some vicious humor, from gay guys when they learn he is bi-sexual. Speaking as a gay man I think this is due to the envy and resentment gays have toward heteorsexuals who display an attitude of entitlement and priviledge (backed by legal restrictions) and enjoy a sence of belonging that gay people don't have. Right or wrong, being bi seems an attemp to have one thing while denying the other. For example, some of the posts on these site have been mean, or at best unintentional, put downs of homosexuals. I ignore them but why are we an allowable target?
Envy and resentment are very negative emotions and I try to keep them out of life and I think gay folks ought to take positve action to change laws and attitudes.
But, apologizing to the people I'm going to offend, more than one gay man has told me bi-sexual men are not straight forward and honest in dealing with personal relationships. It probably not deliberate and certainly not limited to bi's but there it is.
My roomy and I, for instance, started out as a sexual liason/boy friend relationship that fell apart quickly and he moved into his own room. Yes, these things happen but it did get him into my house and my life with out the trouble and expense of finding his own place. I think he was, in his own estimation, completely honest, but it was and is very jarring to me.
I think hate is too strong a word but there is certainly some hostility, according to my roomy, and at best some vicious humor, from gay guys when they learn he is bi-sexual. Speaking as a gay man I think this is due to the envy and resentment gays have toward heteorsexuals who display an attitude of entitlement and priviledge (backed by legal restrictions) and enjoy a sence of belonging that gay people don't have. Right or wrong, being bi seems an attemp to have one thing while denying the other. For example, some of the posts on these site have been mean, or at best unintentional, put downs of homosexuals. I ignore them but why are we an allowable target?
Envy and resentment are very negative emotions and I try to keep them out of life and I think gay folks ought to take positve action to change laws and attitudes.
But, apologizing to the people I'm going to offend, more than one gay man has told me bi-sexual men are not straight forward and honest in dealing with personal relationships. It probably not deliberate and certainly not limited to bi's but there it is.
My roomy and I, for instance, started out as a sexual liason/boy friend relationship that fell apart quickly and he moved into his own room. Yes, these things happen but it did get him into my house and my life with out the trouble and expense of finding his own place. I think he was, in his own estimation, completely honest, but it was and is very jarring to me.
I too have been burned on several occasions by irresponsible bisexual sociopaths, but I don't think it's really a sexuality thing - I think it's simply that those kinds of pathological personality find it easier to get their emotional-leeching quota if they don't rely solely on one gender or the other. the sex aspect is purely incidental to them; the way they behave in interpersonal relationships is the manifestation of their dysfunction. an individual with this problem may well be more attracted in purely physical terms to one or other gender, but won't pass up on the opportunity to inflict their personal psychoses on anyone who's vulnerable. that's just the way the disorder works. it shouldn't be associated with bisexuality as a lifestyle choice.
RunnerSF: My personal feelings are that bisexuality is aok. It's really no different than gay or straight or what not. Some people are gay, some straight, some bi. Thats cool.
I think there are people who are suspicious of bisexuals because they might feel the person isn't being honest about their true sexual orientation...meaning they think the person is really gay. Some of this suspicion might stem from a bad experience said person had with someone claiming to be bisexual.
I used to feel this way to a certain extent when I was younger. However, with more life experience, I've come to believe that there really are truely bisexual people. More power to them.
I don't think there is a consensus on bisexuality in any group of people that has any numbers to it. Opinions vary greatly.
Hugs Ecchi.
I think there are people who are suspicious of bisexuals because they might feel the person isn't being honest about their true sexual orientation...meaning they think the person is really gay. Some of this suspicion might stem from a bad experience said person had with someone claiming to be bisexual.
I used to feel this way to a certain extent when I was younger. However, with more life experience, I've come to believe that there really are truely bisexual people. More power to them.
I don't think there is a consensus on bisexuality in any group of people that has any numbers to it. Opinions vary greatly.
Hugs Ecchi.
*beginning to think I should talk to Rock more often* Are you a certified psychologist Rock? Seriously, your knowledge and manner lend itself to such a position.
That and you have a coolness factor to me by looking like a young Chris Benoit.
It is indeed a lifestyle choice for me, and although I do see myself as something of an emotionally needy person, I'm certainly not out to hurt anyone. I have my g/f Kris, who is well aware of who and what I am and happy with it, as well as a man I maintain contact with o/l (we haven't met yet
), and although I consider myself close to this particular fellow, Kris is by and large the center of my world. Of course, this fellow has a b/f he's been with for quite a while. I guess maybe friends with benefits would be the better was to describe my relationship with him? I dunno ... unless someone's lying to me though, everyone is happy with the situation.
That and you have a coolness factor to me by looking like a young Chris Benoit.
It is indeed a lifestyle choice for me, and although I do see myself as something of an emotionally needy person, I'm certainly not out to hurt anyone. I have my g/f Kris, who is well aware of who and what I am and happy with it, as well as a man I maintain contact with o/l (we haven't met yet
), and although I consider myself close to this particular fellow, Kris is by and large the center of my world. Of course, this fellow has a b/f he's been with for quite a while. I guess maybe friends with benefits would be the better was to describe my relationship with him? I dunno ... unless someone's lying to me though, everyone is happy with the situation.One of my absolute best male friends on the planet is bisexual. Took him a long time to accept and adjust. He's married, has kids and they have made it work. It was as hard, if not more difficult for him to "come out" at least to himself as bi as it is for any person dealing with being homosexual. He's now (in his late 40's) happier, healthier and more centered than I have seen him in the last 20 years.
Bisexuality exists. It's not a cop out to hide being gay. That narrow minded view is well, narrow minded.
And remember, "being bisexual doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." andy warhol.
Bisexuality exists. It's not a cop out to hide being gay. That narrow minded view is well, narrow minded.
And remember, "being bisexual doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." andy warhol.
Lex
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- Lex,
As a guy who has recently accepted his bi-sexuality--I thinkits a very hard place t be. each side expects that you'll leave. Bi now, gay later. Bi now, str8 later.
I am fortunate to have a wife and a BF who are both comfortable with the fact that I am not going anywhere. And that I truly have the capacity to love both women and men.
I am fortunate to have a wife and a BF who are both comfortable with the fact that I am not going anywhere. And that I truly have the capacity to love both women and men.
Pene_Negro_Grande
Experimental Member
Hmm...I do believe that bi-sexuality exists...I personally would probably consider myself bi-sexual if I had to label myself because of a few hooks in the past...But in my opinion I think being bi-sexual is harder than being gay or straight...I mean it can be quite confusing and tiresome at times...
I mean it is great to be attracted to both sexes and it gives you a better chance at hookups...But as some of you brought up - there is a lot of dishonesty w/sexuality...If I am straight up asked if I am gay or straight - I w/o even thinking say STRAIGHT...I mean the majority of my friends are straight and have no clue about past encounters or desires...And sometimes I feel some of my friends are trying to feel me out - which is funny because I love mind games...I mean I pretty much live a straight lifestyle and haven't even hooked up w/a guy in like a year and a half...I mean I use to have that internal conversation w/myself - if I am gay or straight because I did not believe in bi-sexuality at first...I thought it was a greedy person when it came to sex (LOL)...
And personally, the confusion comes because I do hang out w/straight guys and sometimes I get the distant feeling that they are hitting on me but they just could be really nice...I mean I have almost made some bad decisions assuming things...And I also have been taken by surprise when I would never assume it and then a straight guy leans in and starts kissing me (LOL)...I have mentally tried to see myself in a relationship w/a man and I can't see it but definitely can and have been w/women...So I guess that is what makes me a bi-sexual...
I mean it is great to be attracted to both sexes and it gives you a better chance at hookups...But as some of you brought up - there is a lot of dishonesty w/sexuality...If I am straight up asked if I am gay or straight - I w/o even thinking say STRAIGHT...I mean the majority of my friends are straight and have no clue about past encounters or desires...And sometimes I feel some of my friends are trying to feel me out - which is funny because I love mind games...I mean I pretty much live a straight lifestyle and haven't even hooked up w/a guy in like a year and a half...I mean I use to have that internal conversation w/myself - if I am gay or straight because I did not believe in bi-sexuality at first...I thought it was a greedy person when it came to sex (LOL)...
And personally, the confusion comes because I do hang out w/straight guys and sometimes I get the distant feeling that they are hitting on me but they just could be really nice...I mean I have almost made some bad decisions assuming things...And I also have been taken by surprise when I would never assume it and then a straight guy leans in and starts kissing me (LOL)...I have mentally tried to see myself in a relationship w/a man and I can't see it but definitely can and have been w/women...So I guess that is what makes me a bi-sexual...
hung_big: See PNG I used to be exactly like you, but when I met my BF it turned out that you can be with a guy as much as you can be a girl. In society it has always been viewed that it's a guy and girl and that's why it ends up being harder to imagine being against "the norm". I perhaps might even be gay, but I still am somewhat attracted to women, but once you get into a comitted relationship on both ends, it'll end up answering your question.
Not saying that you haven't been in a serious relationship, but from what it sounds like you don't have much experience with guys, so....in time I guess
Not saying that you haven't been in a serious relationship, but from what it sounds like you don't have much experience with guys, so....in time I guess
I know bisexuality exists, and I have nothing against them. I have bisexual friends, and I've had sexual partners that are bi. However, some gay men view a claim of bisexuality as a cop-out because sometimes it is. I have a friend who has sex with women, admittedly much less frequently than with men, and upon pulling a massive drunk one night, he admitted to me that he doesn't enjoy sex with women in the least, but sometimes he can lure 'straight' dudes into his bed by the claim that he's bisexual. He thinks that bi-curious guys will experiment more readily with a bi man than with an exclusively gay one. I know a few other gay men who claim they're bisexual because they think bisexuality is more accepted by the general public than homosexuality. I don't understand their reasoning. I'm much happier owning up to the fact that I'm an ass pirate, and I'm rarely hurting for company. The first step in being accepted by others is accepting oneself. If someone really is bisexual, that's cool with me.
I have certainly heard from people that bi-sexual's don't really exist.
As to being truly 50/50 I don't see why not. I seem to go through phases where I am almost exclusively involved with one sex or the other, as well as phases where I am almost equal. At current I seem to be swinging back to a more straight life, but don't expect that my desires will allow that to become exclusive forever. I would guess that I have had more gay sex than straight sex, but that is more of a function of availability than desires or pleasure.
As to being truly 50/50 I don't see why not. I seem to go through phases where I am almost exclusively involved with one sex or the other, as well as phases where I am almost equal. At current I seem to be swinging back to a more straight life, but don't expect that my desires will allow that to become exclusive forever. I would guess that I have had more gay sex than straight sex, but that is more of a function of availability than desires or pleasure.
madame_zora
Sexy Member
I know bisexuality exists, I have several friends as well as my daughter who fall into this category. My daughter defines her sexual preference as "none" because she truly has no preference. She says if she's attracted to a person, she doesn't care what their genitals look like. That sounds 50/50 to me. One guy I know mostly dates women, but has occasional hookups with guys. He call himself bisexual even though he's probably more 70/30. I think what's confusing about bisexuality is that everyone is very different on how they define it. Jonb bring up a very good point, there are fewer ones and sixes on the Kinsey scale than there are twos through fives- most people are bisexual to some degree.
All that being said, it would be sooooooo nice to never again have to hear someone proclaiming bisexuality simply because they're too ashamed/scared/in denial/insert excuse of the moment- to admit they're gay. It really does get old, and it casts doubt on the people who really are bi.
The only thing I've heard against bis that hasn't been brought up yet is that some people see them as using it as an excuse to fuck everything that walks. I think this is just a stupid view, and people generally lash out at what they don't understand. Ahhh, conservatives! Don'tcha just love 'em?
All that being said, it would be sooooooo nice to never again have to hear someone proclaiming bisexuality simply because they're too ashamed/scared/in denial/insert excuse of the moment- to admit they're gay. It really does get old, and it casts doubt on the people who really are bi.
The only thing I've heard against bis that hasn't been brought up yet is that some people see them as using it as an excuse to fuck everything that walks. I think this is just a stupid view, and people generally lash out at what they don't understand. Ahhh, conservatives! Don'tcha just love 'em?
