So lately, I keep getting told how GREAT it must be to be BI and how I'm "having my cake and eating it to" and I was honestly a bit taken aback. For some reason, I lot of people look at the idea of bisexulaity as this land of sexual Prime Real Estate with the big yard, 3 car garage, mirrored ceiling bedroom and sex toy dungeon. Nope. Sorry. In my experiences a lot of people assume that is has to do with sex. It has very little to do with sex. And it is not this be-all, end-all definition of ME. Bisexuality as a label does not define who I like to have sex with. Rather it attempts to characterize my capacity to enter into deep, meaningful, lasting and weathered relationships with both men and women on personal, physical, spiritiual, and emotional levels. Within the context of those relationships, we may have sexual contact or not. If we don't--I am no less connected to those people, as our connection has less to do with penis-vagina-anus contact than with our shared ability to conjoin mentally on a plane of shared existence that we find mutually beneficial, rewarding and comforting. I like to call it Love. Certainly not the most fun-filled path to walk, but it is my path, and I will travel it as best I can and with all my might. I constantly ask myself--why was I born this way: Neither 100% hetero- or homosexual? Why am I blessed (cursed?) with the capacity to love and be energized by both sexes? Wouldn't it be easier if I got off on Goldberg and Kurt Angle but NOT Jennifer Connelly and Charlise Theron? (maybe it WOULDN'T--Lord knows *I'll* never know). Those who think bisexuals are "having their cake and eating it too" truly have no clue. I want so much to ask of those with this perspective: Have you ever considered how secure a partner must be when you are bi? Have you any idea how much saftey their must exist within a successful relationship when everyone you meet (male and female) is potential competition to your partner? Have you ever considered how difficult it is to feel as if you may not fully fit into either the straight or the gay world? Geez. I take comfort in knowing that I have a loving man and woman who attempt every day to understand me and give me their unyielding support. For that I am grateful. Ah...better now.