bisexuals--are they for real?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_andy112311, Oct 17, 2006.

  1. B_andy112311

    B_andy112311 New Member

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    The older I get the more I tend to think that bisexuals do not exist. :confused: Take a look at these myspace profiles:

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1549272

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=14241046

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=46392601

    Sorry, but I don't get what is bi about them.

    Bi is being attracted to both sexes, but not necessarily having sex with both sexes. As I looked at these profiles and many, many more. These guys struck me as being gay. Maybe gay men in denial of their true sexuality. I would think that if they were truly bi they would have some scantily clad women in their profiles.

    Also, on some of the profiles I viewed the men will put something like "I am bi but if I had to choose I would take men over women." I've also noticed on this site that some men have a certain percentage of them they describe as gay, but they talk about other men in sexual terms and experiences that seem gay.

    I wonder as we become a more open society if bisexuality will just fade away. It always seemed like a cover for being gay, and even the governor of NJ that resigned described himself as "gay" not bi, after being outed for having gay affairs during his two marriages.
     
  2. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    "bisexuality is just a stop on the road to gayville" (or something like that)

    - Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City

    I have some trouble with it too Andy but I can perform heterosexually very well and enjoy it and I consider myself 100% Gay.

    Can you perform equal well with men though preferring the female of our species sexually? :33:
     
  3. fortiesfun

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    The older I get the more I wonder if homosexuals really exist. :rolleyes: I'm sort of joking, but in fact one of the things I chose to cover in this thread is two recent surveys which independently arrived at the conclusion that nearly 80% of self-identified "homosexuals" had also had sex with opposite sex partners in the last five years. Seems almost everybody is really bisexual. "Homosexuality is just the access road to the bisexual super highway."
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
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    I guess I wonder why straight or gay people care if bisexuality really exists. If we know there are not black and whites in nature, only shades of grey along the continuum--then we know it has to exist in some form.

    The problem is that people self-report and self-identify and you can't tell them how to do it and, even if you did, people would bring their own personal take to the labels anyway. Also, people LIE--all the time in any survey of sexual behavior.

    Gay people see bisexuals as people who are scared to fully enbrace their gayness. Straight peopel see bisexuals as people who are scared to embrace their gayness (or have it "both" ways). Bisexuals feels bastardized by the close-minded of both groups.

    Think about it.

    ALL the colors of the rainbow.
     
  5. velvetsweat

    velvetsweat Active Member

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    Bisexuality exists and if the definition of a bisexual is someone whose had sex with men and women then theres far more bisexuals than gay men I'd say .
    Lots of gay guys dismiss the fact that theyve had sex with girls as not important and that theyre totally gay , but if youre totally gay then I dont think youd be remotely attracted to or want to have sex with women .
    One of my mates who I fuck about with occasionally has 3 kids and has been with his g/f for about 8 years but to some people he'd just be a closet gay ,
    so apparently the fact he's had sex with a female far more times than he has guys is irrelevant to some , if you're male and like to suck cock youre gay , no bones about it , erm yeah right ...bisexuality is alive and well and dismissed and reviled by so many people its laughable .
     
  6. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    The rigidity of labels for human sexuality exists only in the mind of those seeking to pigeonhole and over-simplify the incredibly diverse, and ultimately unique, sexual experiences of each human being.

    Why are so many people interested in trying to make people fit labels, rather than accepting that the labels themselves are merely an ill-fitting socio-cultural shorthand that at best offer reductive 'idealized' notions of sexuality?

    The above question is rhetorical, but the answer still might be: because "containing" human beings' options by fitting them into simplistic pigeonholes somehow offers people the fictitious-yet-comfortable notion of a world that works 'by the numbers', rather than one that is in a constant state of flux and redefinition.

    Woe betide humanity if it ever truly becomes so inflexible and easy to define.
     
  7. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    -as dogmatically as they'll continue to define it and much as the evidence speaks for itself to support there are no absolutes in much of anything.
     
  8. davidjh7

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    Andy, Bisexuals of course exist. THose who are not BIsexual, or haven't had to fight themselves and their feelings, attractions, and desires, generally fall into tow camps: 1)Those that feel that the bisexual is gay, and closeted, and those that feel the bisexual is just gay. It is interesting to note that I have NEVER, EVER, heard ANYBODY say that they are just closet heterosexuals---if they have sex with both sexes, or desire both sexes, they MUST therefor "just be gay" Both the gay and straight community seem to take this viewpoint. Yet, neither side "accuses" the person of just being a heterosexual, and in denial.....
    Alex, your question is rhetorica, but I have the need to answer it anyway: Please indulge me...
    People are idiots, have always BEEN idiots, and show absolutely no sign of not continuing being idiots in the future. Thank you for your indulgence. You may now return to your previously scheduled thread, already in progress...
     
  9. Ethyl

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  10. samhung

    samhung Member

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    Sexuality is not a continuum from gay to straight like most people are taught to believe. It really depends on who you are attracted to and why. In my younger days, I as more attracted to women because they tended to be more emotionally mature than many of the young men that I knew. As I got older, I became more attracted to men because we had more common interests.

    Life is not about concrete categories that you fit into, but rather the sum of your experiences and the person you become from them. Anyone who wants to categorize me as either straight, bisexual or gay can go to hell. I hardly need anyone's approval in life, and quite honestly I think anyone who needs those rigid sexual definitions is carrying around more baggage than Fedex at Christmastime.
     
  11. SoFla8

    SoFla8 New Member

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    If we get to pick our own labels I want mine to be:
    "Straight guy who loves to suck cock"
     
  12. joyboytoy79

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    Finally, somebody with a clear cognative process! Thank you Alex, and have i told you lately, that i love you? (shoot me now for quoting Rod Stewart, PLEASE!)

    Now for my own thoughts on this subject:

    "I don't think bisexuality exists because i say it doesn't and i am the center of the universe." Get OVER yourself! You know what? People can, and will continue to label themselves however they personally see fit. If i want to call myself amerisexual, i can! And guess what. Once i start calling myself one, "amerisexuals" start to exist. To make it even more fun, i can DEFINE "amerisexual" however the hell i want to!

    If you are going to allow yourself the luxury of labeling your own sexuality, then you need to be accepting enough to allow others that same luxury. I call myself Gay, and for me that means i've never had sexual attraction to women. I can't even perform sexually with a woman, the thought disgusts me (no offence to any women!). Stronzo calls himself Gay and for him that means he can have (and has had) sex with women, but he finds he only acheives real satisfaction with men. Are we going to nit-pic about who's definition of "gay" is correct? THEY BOTH ARE!

    So, the next time you see a myspace profile, and someone you would call "gay" calls himself "bisexual" think about what the label really means. If you think about it long and hard enough, you'll discover that sexual labels are just words that mean nothing and everything all at once.
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    If asked, I identify as straight. I don't really get along with most women I meet. I have never wanted a romantic relationship with a woman. I have never been in love with a woman. But women are soft, round, and beautiful. I prefer to look at women. Women taste good. And women make a fun change from the penis grind.

    I do enjoy men. Oh yes! I like men far more for companionship, and sex. I especially like men who are bigger than I. I want to be the small one. It's a weird, unresolved childhood issue which stems from.... well, it's unimportant. Bottom line is I prefer men. Big men. Tall and wide. Naked, men are kind of awkward, I think, but there is a charm and beauty to that awkwardness. Men with cute butts accelerate my heartbeat. A man with friendly, alert eyes will make me feel all squishy inside. Men are bizarre and complicated, and it's fun trying to learn more. PLus: Men have the penis. Let's not forget that! I'm more physically attracted to men, when I want sex I generally want sex with a man, and I generally get along better with men.

    Oh... but every once in a while, I want to taste a woman.

    It's not for trendiness- most of the gay sex I've had has not involved men in any way. I don't need lesbo activity to attract the attention of a horny man: That's why I was given a great rack, a unique smile, a sense of humor, a sweet voice, and the intellect to apply these assets succesfully.

    I identify as straight when asked. But if pressed for details I'll offer up heteroflexible. I really am almost exclusively into dudes. But I'll hook up with a woman if the timing is right, and she's extremely attractive to me, in addition to being the kind of lady I can get along with when sex is not on the table (or the floor, or the couch or wherever).

    So, heteroflexible. Is that just another term for bisexual? Maybe. Maybe not. It sounds most right to me as a description of my sexuality. I think of bisexuals as being equally drawn to both genders- and maybe that's not quite right either.

    Do bisexuals exist? I dunno. It's just another label. Do democrats exist? Where do we stop with the applying and questioning of these labels?
     
  14. transformer_99

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    The way I see it, those claiming bisexuality. When they are in a m-f situation, that's heterosexual for whoever is involved, when they are m-m or f-f, that's gay/lesbian or homosexual for the participants. I doubt either encounter of same sex, when it's happening, either party involved is thinking about whether anyone classifies their partner as bisexual at that given moment in time.

    But to me, if you've ever had a same sex intercourse encounter, you're gay, regardless of gender, regardless of whether you could or would have intercourse with opposite sex partner(s). Even if you cross back over, because there is always a possibility as slim as it might be, that a same sex intercourse encounter could occur/recur.
     
  15. davidjh7

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    People just keep reinforcing what I am saying....If you EVER have a thought, deed, or whatever sexually with same sex, you are gay. But the other direction doesn;t apply. Feh. This is TRUE homophobia, because it is the obsession with the idea that gay is bad, and any association with it corrupts you and makes you bad as a result. Whatever...
     
  16. joyboytoy79

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    Again, the label can mean whatever you want it to mean... for yourself. By the way, you need to change your profile, because i know for a fact that you've had sex with at least one man (your self), and by your definition that makes you gay.
     
  17. NCbear

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    To me, saying "if you've had one homosexual experience you're gay" is comparable to the "one drop = you're Black" concept, which was based on slavery.

    Obviously, conceptualizing another human being as the Other--as your antithesis, instead of recognizing the overwhelming similarities between you--supports institutionalized, tacitly permitted oppression. It's the whole "divide and conquer" thing.

    The reverse is a much more radical idea, famously articulated by the African-born Roman playwright Terence about 100 years prior to the birth of Jesus:
    Homo sum. Humani nihil a me alienum puto. [Loosely translated, "I am a human being. Nothing human can be alien to me."]
    Curiously, this concept sounds a lot like "Love thy neighbour." It's also a great deal more difficult to do in our daily lives.

    NCbear (not trying to hijack the thread, just musing on some possible connections between absolutist thinking and oppressive societies that strive to limit personal freedoms)
     
  18. transformer_99

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    Why does it have to have anything to do about homophobia ? Why can't it be because there was an event that occurred that crossed a line in the sand on what is heterosexual and what is homosexual, a defining moment if you will ? BTW, I never said gay is bad. Where is that even implied in my post ?
     
  19. transformer_99

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    Not necessarily, even when I am yanking my own crank, what gives you the impression I'm in love with myself ? Ever think that my thoughts might be of a beautiful woman that is unavailable (perhaps even unattainable) and the act is a release of a purely heterosexual tension that can only be relieved at that given moment by masturbation ? So by definition, it's not gay, since the goal or reason behind it is to relieve a primal heterosexual biological urge.
     
  20. joyboytoy79

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    It's not homophobic, but it is hetorosexist, because it assumes that all people start out on one side of the line, which just so happens to be the side of the line you, yourself claim to be on. To make it not heterosexist you would need to assume that some people start out on each side of the line, and maybe some start out strattling it, and that the line can be crossed from both sides.
     
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