Bisexuals Can't Be Faithful

[Falcon9]

Being faithful is no different for bisexuals than it is for anyone else.

I know I wouldn't be happy in a relationship with a man who denied me the pleasure of giving him head. A bi male dating a woman would be faced with the same loss if hemmed in with strict monogamous rules. Is that part of them expected to just wither and die, forgotten?

Gillette, I am struck by your skilled intuition and wisdom once again! This is also at the heart of my recent questioning about my own orientation and ability to follow through. The bisexual "condition" includes an orientation towards both sexes... for some it might just be a mild appreciation, for others a deep hunger.

I think that difficulties with commitment and/or fidelity occur with pretty much the same frequency, regardless of sexual orientation.

I think the ability to commit and/or to be faithful has a lot more to do with an individual's psychology, and the intensity of his or her sex drive, than it has to do with the orientation of his or her sex drive.

HollyBlue then hits the nail on the head... I would have to agree that the intensity of the sex drive is a large factor affecting one's ability to be faithful. I know from experience mine is much stronger than others. I think HollyBlue shows a high sex drive is not seen as an "excuse" but as a plain fact of a person's physiology.

And as others above point towards love being a factor in all of this... there lies the mystery. Conversations about sex drive or the mind's ability to form a committed relationship can not be discussed without including the mysteriousness of the heart's ability to create meaningful change, to deepen once's experience of sexuality and intimacy. I am learning through these conversations here that my desire to understand my own sex drive, my questioning of my own orientation (present or future) is somewhat incomplete if I do not also question my heart's ability to love.

 

[Mr Ed in Mass]

And all this time,I thought that people who ate Italian bread couldn't be monogamous!
I can't imagine how one has anything to do with the other. Both Cigarbabe and myself are bi [ 50-50] but, we are monogamous and have NO desire to stray.It's about love and commitment as opposed to just sex. For us,being bi means that you are sexually comfortable with either sex,not so much a lifestyle or need for constant affairs.
I know that, what I have in my life now, is incredible, and, the thought of blowing this relationship just doesn't exist for either one of us.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Italian bread? That's another fabulous eggcorn.

[edit] just a casual observation: there seems to be an inordinate amount of nail head hitting going on in the boards lately. Anyone else want to move to ban the use of this phrase on LPSG? Or if not an outright ban at least a temporary moratorium, let the cliche breathe for a minute.

 

[danerain]

Italian bread? That's another fabulous eggcorn.

[edit] just a casual observation: there seems to be an inordinate amount of nail head hitting going on in the boards lately. Anyone else want to move to ban the use of this phrase on LPSG? Or if not an outright ban at least a temporary moratorium, let the cliche breathe for a minute.

We could always start a group against the abuse of nails.

 

[Gillette]

[edit] just a casual observation: there seems to be an inordinate amount of nail head hitting going on in the boards lately. Anyone else want to move to ban the use of this phrase on LPSG? Or if not an outright ban at least a temporary moratorium, let the cliche breathe for a minute.

I could better understand your problem with this if the nail were being hit into the head. Ouch.

 

[danerain]

I could better understand your problem with this if the nail were being hit into the head. Ouch.

EEEEEEEYEEEEWW!!!

 

[Falcon9]

spot on, 9"cock: It was a poor choice of words on my part... I will try to find better terms for the nail hitting...

 

[MattBoyMA]

Wow, I like a lot of the open-mindedness here. Not that I'd expect less, there just always seems to be a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality out in the world. (And the positivity could very well be because there are plenty of members here who fall somewhere in the middle.) I have very close friends, who are wonderful people, who either don't understand bisexuality, or insist it doesn't really exist. I think the question here (and a few of the answers,) in my mind and experience, make(s) a certain important assumption - that bisexuality hinges on physical attraction and sex. While that may be true for some, for me, being bisexual simply means I'm attracted to someone independent of what his or her gender is. If and when sex enters a relationship, there it is, and I hopefully enjoy it. But I'm not enjoying it specifically because I'm getting cock, or because I'm getting pussy. It's because I'm sharing something with someone I feel close to. And, well, maybe that's the point. If you're in a healthy relationship, with someone you feel honestly committed to, and love, then the sex isn't why you're there. It's just an added bonus. (Or maybe I'm wrong.... )

 

[nugebow1]

I am straight, but my wife is bisexual and has a regular femal parnter. I have just recently started sleeping with my wifes female lover. (without my wife present). I started doing this becuase my wifes lover will let me do things to her that my wife will not let me do.
This so far has worked out well for us. I am not threatened by my wife being with another woman. And believe me, my wife is happy because I am not trying to do things to her that she does not like.
What is odd...we both consider our relationship to be a monogamous one. She gets some things from her lover that I can't give her, and I get some things from her lover that my wife wont give me. It works out.
This is where it gets wierd. I for some reason would love to see my wife get the crap screwed out of her by a guy with a HUGE cock. I mean a massive one. She said she has been with "a big guy" before, but when I showed her some pics from here she said that she had never been with anyone that big. Again...I would just like to see it one time.

 

[giantsfrey]

i don't think sexuality has anything to do with it -- its more of a personality thing. i think i've been in love twice and i ended up cheating on them both times. i'm not proud of it at all, and i hate that i'm turning out to be like my retarded father. but i'm 100% straight and i just can't seem to stay faithful. of course, it could be something that comes with age, too. i'm only 20

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

spot on, 9"cock: It was a poor choice of words on my part... I will try to find better terms for the nail hitting...

:tongue: Don't sweat it. Just seems that phrase gets overused a lot, or at least has been the last week or two.

 

[zgrog2000]

I think that any relationship that is built on sex is doomed to failure regardless of sexual orientation.

 

[Flashlight]

My last bf broke up with me because just the fact I was bisexual repulsed him he said after going out for two months. He said that he was always afraid I was going to cheat on him. I was completely faithful but right before he dumped me he was fucking around with other guys. Go figure.

 

[slate_australis]

Complete bullshit.

 

[B_josiah852]

Both males and females, stra8, gay or bi will probably cheat when in a relationship that is not a happy one. Doesn't have anything to do with their sexuality. Yes, there are those who cheat because they are sexually insecure and they have to have affairs, either one night stands or long term, to prove they can attract others sexually. But then that is a whole other subject.

 

[Beercanthick]

I think this thread is both fascinating and timely for me. I'm currently working on a novel, a coming of age story, about a boy who is kicked out of his fundementalist Christian household because he's caught messing around with an older boy who instigated the event. He comes to be placed in a foster home situation with a supportive gay male couple in his high school and college years, having a boyfriend for a while he meets in a gay youth outreach program. But one of his gay foster dad's has a daughter from a previous marriage, and over several years, the boy, now a young man, and the daughter, (both being in their 19-22 yrs of life), begin with a friendship that develops into a sexual, romantic relationship that they keep hidden from their Dads. When the father of the girl finds out, he goes ballistic, because he doesn't want his daughter getting hurt by the young man's sexual experimentation ( Dad has deep issues about how he hurt his own wife years before) and kicks the kid out of the house. And the daughter leaves with the young man. As the years go by, they get married, she has a baby, the young man remains monogomous, both because that is who he is morally and not wanting to repeat the hurt that his wife's dad had caused her mom. But as the years go by, the young man begins to realize that he is bisexual - and keeping it inside is beginning to tear him up.

So, does he open up and tell his wife, even though he's not been unfaithful and does't want to be, and risk rocking the boat of their marriage? Or does he keep it inside and let it become a place of darkness, leading him to acting out?

Can he be a monogomous Christian bisexual in a solid marriage?

There is a religious tie-in through out the story, and the whole thing with the paster Ted Haggert really informs the struggle the young man is in.

(Personally, I believe Ted is bi - not gay - like lot's of people, especially in the gay communtiy, wanted to make him out to be. But what happens when we keeps secrets of who we are locked up inside of us? Alcohol or meth to act out?)

This thread has helped me to not feel like I was alone in the desert with this subject while writing this project.

Thanks peeps!

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

I'm a Kinsey 4, same guy 6.5 years. If I was single some gash might be an option but I'm not.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Some people say love for sex and sex for love. I prefer sex for sex and love for love. :wink:

Not sure what that makes me - oh yes - a muffjunkie.

 

[Falcon9]

LP --->hot!

 

[woody8&]

That statement is completely false. They can be true to hemaphrodite partners.