BJ buddy/best friend lies about sex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by free2jump4u, Nov 9, 2008.

  1. free2jump4u

    free2jump4u Member

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    I know it shouldn't be my business, but I have a best friend who I give blowjobs to, and he always want his female friends with benefits a secret.

    I think as my best friend he should be able to tell me that he is going out and getting some, if only to brag. I've confronted him and he says he doesn't want to tell me because they don't mean anything to him and because he doesn't want people to know "his business".

    But if I give him blow jobs and sometimes he uses me to plug his hole a bit while I jerk him off, shouldn't he let me know?

    You guys are wise beyond words ... I'm get so angry about this ... what do you all think??
     
  2. surferboy

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    i think the problem is that you've become attached in what should have been a no-strings attached relationship.
     
  3. D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III

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    Cool idea,

    I myself am at a cross roads. I've always considered myself straight. I've recently had an opportunity for a blow job no strings atached. I'm not really in to the whole gay thing and I may be out of bounds here because I have absolutely no experience in this area. I haver absolutely no desire for anal, and haverno desire to give oral but feel kind of obligatited to recipricate. I think I could jack a guy off. I'm stuck.
     
  4. B_pinoyurge

    B_pinoyurge New Member

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    yes you're relationship is just bestfriends and sex buddies.... and nothing more than that.
     
  5. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I think you should find someone who doesn't compartmentalize your presence in his life, that respects you.

    However, I guess the question to consider is, are you also his best friend? If he is keeping the other part of his intimate life away from you, it sounds like you may actually have an fwb or booty call relationship. :shrug:
     
  6. BobLeeSwagger

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    If you're acting like a plug to his hole, then he will probably treat you as such.
     
  7. killerb

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    I think Surferboy hit the nail on the head...
    best friends are not obligated to tell each other about every sexual conquest...
    it sounds like you have more feelings than you're letting on...
     
  8. Florida Boy

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    Interesting situation. you describe this guy as your best friend. Best friendships do not exist in a vacuum. fuck/suck buddies often do.

    Usually, you know your best friends, job, tastes in various things and other associates. If you don't know these things about him and vise-versa, then you are not best friends.

    Seems also that he is not lying as you say, he's just not telling and being straight forward bout it. There is the possibility that he doesn't want to admit that you are his only sexual outlet. There is an ego thing going on in his head. Fuck/suck buddies are wonderful relationships, but they can be tricky, to not be exploitative. They can also grow into real relationships.

    Florida Boy
     
  9. ledroit

    ledroit New Member

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    Sounds confusing. Are you trying to torture yourself, or trying to break up with this guy as either a friend or a fuck/bj buddy? Or get him to marry you?
     
  10. D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

    D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead Account Disabled

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    I think it might matter if he got to be your best friend before you guys started being fuckbuddies.

    In other words, is what you guys got together based on sex, or friendship at its core?

    If you want more than he's willing to give, then you have a decision to make: keep it going on his terms ... keep working on him to be more open (which just sounds frustrating for all concerned) ... or back off and look for what you want from someone else.
     
  11. surferboy

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    i agree with this.

    here's a little story about me and a fuck buddy. i told her straight up that it was just a friendship with benefits kine deal. there would never be a relationship other than friendship between us. she said she was fine with it. one day, we went to see a movie, and i paid for her. she took it the wrong way, and assumed it was a date. and she got kinda upset when i told her it wasn't.

    the point to my story is, did you and your friend lay out the ground rules straight up? did you both agree to them? that's where most friendships with benefits run into trouble - were the rules clear? because, imo, it sounds like you two set up the same kine relationship as me and alexandra. but i'm not sure if any terms were laid out. and, again, i honestly think you became attached to him, even though it was supposed to be no-strings
     
  12. free2jump4u

    free2jump4u Member

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    We were friends before we were fuck buddies. But he was the one that started inviting me over to his house to sleep on the couch, until one day he asked me to help him try out (sleep on) a new mattress of his.

    So far, I have been keeping things going on his terms, while working on him to change -- and you are right ... it has just been frustrating for him and me!

    What gets me most is that sometimes these girls hate me, and at this point I know why they are acting the way they are -- they assume I know about them, and assume that I am trying to get in their way ... but at the point that they make their intentions obvious, I rarely see them very much after that!!!
     
  13. free2jump4u

    free2jump4u Member

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    Thanks surferoy,

    Nope, we didn't set any type of rules, because we were best friends before any of this happened. Then once it started happening (I got curious and touched him in his sleep) he got furious, but then went back to sleeping with me, so it was always something that "wasn't supposed to be done" though he would pushmy head towards his dick and wraps his thighs around my head!!
     
  14. surferboy

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    yah, i thought so. the problem is that, not only were there no rules established, but there were no mutual terms. in the post before this one, you said that you're basically playing by his terms, yah? another no-no

    imo, you need to stop this. it's not healthy for you brah. it's as if you're at his beck and call bruddah. you need to tell him you two are no longer friends with benefits. if he says something like "oh well, then we're not friends anymore" then so be it. i know it might be difficult, but you have to do it. and if he does say something like that, he probably stopped being your friend the moment you started fooling around.

    good luck brah. let us know how it ends
     
  15. free2jump4u

    free2jump4u Member

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    Yeah, that is something that he always makes me feel - like if I question him too much, or if I happen not to guess his mood correctly, then whatever activity we were planning to do get called off. If anything goes wrong either during or in the run up to something - it gets called off.

    I'll let you know what happens.
     
  16. surferboy

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    please do brah. be strong when you bring this up. don't let him control the conversation.