Blind date stories? Sex/blowjobs before the date?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by JR7, Jan 21, 2012.

  1. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Hey everyone, has anyone ever been on a blind date (either as a fix-up, or through an internet dating site) in which you met the person and had sex or hooked up before any 'date,' occurred (i.e., dinner, drinks, movie?)

    I can think of one such event. A mutual friend set me up with a woman. We talked on the phone and had a couple of nice conversations. We set up a date for a Saturday night. Basically, dinner and drinks. Place picked out - I made reservations. She asked that I picked her up and rung her apartment buzzer when I arrived. So I did that on this Saturday night (maybe about 10 years ago) and she said for me to come up. I was kind of surprised because I didn't arrive that much sooner than our dinner reservations.

    This was before facebook and neither of us had seen a picture of the other. I walked up, she opened the door and I was pleased to see a very cute short girl with blonde hair. She had big tits on a fairly thin frame. In other words, I was excited to hopefully get a chance to hook up with her. She was very welcoming and asked me to sit on her couch. I did. She sat down next to me and I was surprised by how close she was on this our first (blind) date. The conversation was limited to 'it's so nice to put a face with the guy I've had such good conversations with,' and then she leaned over and started kissing me. I was floored, but I already decided I wanted to hook up with this girl - who was I to complain if it was sooner vs. later. She took off her top and shoved my face against her huge bare breasts. I naturally started licking and sucking them.

    Then she asked, "Do you eat pussy?" Well, anyone who knows me knows that that's like asking a fish if it breathes under water. I said, "Absolutely." She took off her jeans to reveal no panties underneath and a full blonde bush. I went to town, she flipped into 69 position, ripped off my pants and underwear and started blowing me. I managed to hold back long enough to give her what seemed like two orgasms, then, in recognizing the humor of this whole situation, said, "Since you haven't eaten dinner yet I should warn you that you're going to make me cum." She giggled with my cock still in her mouth but showed no signs of stopping. As promised, I blew my load. She kept her mouth sealed around my pulsating cock for every spurt and then spit the contents of my drained balls into an empty Solo cup that I hadn't noticed on the side table until now.

    I even looked inside the cup to see how much of it was filled and remarked, "Oh my G-d, that was an amazing blowjob; I jerked off before I came here and you got all that out." She said, "Well, you better not be all used up, because I want to fuck you after dinner."

    And would you believe we went to the same restaurant - albeit late - that I made a reservation. Her theory, as she explained it to me, was that if she's attracted to a guy she wants to do some heavy petting early on so she can get the awkwardness out of the 'first date.' If the petting (i.e., 69-ing) is good, she goes through with the date and fucks the guy late-night. If it's no good, she just afterglows for a while and the guy isn't the least bit surprised when she doesn't ask to go to dinner. He just ends up leaving and if he calls for anther date, she doesn't return the call. So needless to say I was highly flattered that she was attracted to me at first sight to hook up right away, and wiling to fuck me later.

    She was right, it was one of the least awkward, carefree dinner dates I ever had. We weren't afraid to talk about what we had just done, but we also talked about ordinary, non-sexual topics with little regard for what the other thought. We already knew we were attracted to one another.

    Sure enough, we went back to her apartment after dinner, having had a chance to produce some more semen and get hard again - and if we didn't fuck the night away! I know I shouldn't have done it in light of her 'system' and how many other guys she's probably fucked, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to fuck her barebone after knowing how tight but creamy her pussy gets from having eaten her out earlier. She asked, "Do you want to put on a condom?" I said, "If that's not rhetorical, honestly, I really, really don't want to wear a condom with you." She took a long stare at my erect penis and said, "Fuck, the tip of your cock is too big to cover it up with a condom; that tip alone is gonna make me cum. Put it in me." She rolled her knees back by her ears and I literally saw her labia minora unfurl, inviting me in. I inserted just the tip of my cock (to which she so lovingly referred) in her opening, and after a couple of "mmmm's," and "ohhhhhs" out of both of us, plunged it deep into her nether regions. We fucked for a good half hour and after "[my] fucking tip" as she called it gave her 3 orgasms I unloaded my second load of the night on her torso and huge breasts. We rested for about an hour and with her bedroom smelling distinctly like her musky pussy mixed with my semen, we proceeded to go again. This time I finished in her mouth and she swallowed - having had dinner!
     
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  2. unzipped

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    Just once that I can recall... a fellow officer fixed me up.. I got to the divorcee's apartment and met her.... after a couple of minutes of small talk, she asked me what size weapon I carry...standard or custom... as her eyes were glued to my crotch......needless to say, I took her hand and pressed it on the front of my pants....then, we screwed all night long......never did go on that date to he movies... each time we just screwed...
     
  3. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    I knew I wasn't the only one, unzipped. Great story!
     
  4. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    bump
     
  5. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Come on - just one follow-up story?
     
  6. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    I have another one. A platonic friend of mine fixed me up with a girl who had just started working at her office. This was probably about 11 years ago. I picked her up and while noting happened before dinner, after dinner on Lake Shore Drive (in Chicago) she started giving me roadhead. It damned good head and naturally I felt I could nut before even getting to her exit. Since I wanted to save my load and be in the most horny, energetic mood to eat her pussy, I asked her to stop so that I didn't cum too soon. I also didn't want to cum all over my pants before getting out of the car or have her be in the position where she'd feel obligated to swallow.

    So we went into her apartment and went straight to her bedroom. It was great because since she already had my cock out and in her mouth, there was no delay in getting her completely naked. She indulged me by leaving at least a lamp on so I was able to see her triangle of black pubic hair clearly and 10 seconds later I had her legs spread and was tonguing her clit and vaginal opening. She returned to sucking my cock, and we 69-ed until I let the cumshot that was dying to pop out in my car out in her mouth. Sure enough, she swallowed every last drop. We rested, and because my cock was still slick with post-cum and I had no condom, we opted to 69 again and this time she took my cock out to see the shot.
     
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  7. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    bump
     
  8. D_Chequerbend_Brasshangers

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    This should be in fictitious stories lol
     
  9. rickygNOLA

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    "Sex/Blowjobs Before The Date"??

    ...WTF? i thought that WAS the date.
     
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  10. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Fictitious stories, schtek? I think not. Both of mine are true and I see no reason why the other anonymous posters would make theirs up. What is there to gain? What is the benefit of making up sex stories in a virtual locker room?
     
  11. BUSTERHYMAN

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    You know i went on this dating website called blind date the other night, And i was very veryyyyy disappointed when i realised my date wasn't infact blind and left cause i started masturbating when she came in!
     
  12. JR7

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    bump
     
  13. dude_007

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    I think what he means is that this is the joke section and probably why your thread isn't getting any response.
     
  14. BUSTERHYMAN

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    Russ311 viagra addiction has put him through some hard times with his blind dates turned out they were women.
     
  15. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    I see srdude - I hadn't realized I posted it onto a 'joke' blog. I'll have to repost it on a true story board or something. Thank you.
     
  16. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Come on ladies and gentlemen, surely there are some more blind date sex/oral stories before the actual date.
     
  17. BUSTERHYMAN

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    I went on a blind date last night.

    I turned up at her parents house and met my date for the first time and, man, she was ugly.

    Her father took me to one side and said, "You'll have her home by midnight."

    I replied, "No fucking way...she'll be home by 10. You're not palming her off on me."







    Courtesy of Chi-Town Hustler
     
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  18. BUSTERHYMAN

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    My blind date picked me up in a 1936 Rolls Royce.
    Unfortunately, she was the original owner.













    Courtesy of Chi-Town Hustler
     
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  19. JulieInNaplesFL

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    Wouldn't that tap tap taping drive you nuts?

















    The Devil made me say that.
     
  20. JR7

    JR7 Guest

    Julie, sorry I didn't get your joke about the "tap, tap, tapping." Please explain. Also, which restaurant do you prefer? The Veranda in Ft. Myers or Vergina in Naples. My pick is Veranda.
     
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