Blog about a gay muslim

[a21f]

Hi,

I just wanted to leave this link here for my blog about being gay and Muslim. Feel free to leave comments either here or on the blog. I'm new to blogging so would love feedback.

Thanks

https://theguyginamonologues.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

 

[a21f]

bump

 

[Beedie Tijii]

Do you want feedback on your writing itself, or on the views and experiences it expresses?

Kudos for sharing this with people, as there aren't many gay muslim voices out there, for obvious reasons. I've come across some relatively gay-friendly, liberal muslims in London, but they are invariably university-educated muslims in their twenties or early thirties. It sounds like you need your own space and autonomy, and soon.

Heterosexual people reading that ask yourself when you chose to be straight, then ask me when I chose to be gay. If you can't remember or feel you didn't have to chooser, then neither did I. Ergo we were both born the way we were.

I accept this argument, but I nonetheless have some follow-up questions about the above excerpt. Do you remember making an informed decision to believe in Allah, prior to realising that you were gay? Or do you feel that you were 'born muslim' in almost the same way that you were 'born gay'?

Also, this is minor, but you start a sentence with 'the hadith states...' but you don't mention which hadiths you follow or may be referencing (regarding sodomy etc). Different scholars and clerics classify different hadiths with varying degrees of authenticity -- and don't always agree with each other, even within the same denomination of Islam -- so it might be helpful for other Muslim readers out there to know a bit more about which hadiths you follow, and why. Hey, maybe this could be a future blog!

 

[a21f]

Do you want feedback on your writing itself, or on the views and experiences it expresses?

Kudos for sharing this with people, as there aren't many gay muslim voices out there, for obvious reasons. I've come across some relatively gay-friendly, liberal muslims in London, but they are invariably university-educated muslims in their twenties or early thirties. It sounds like you need your own space and autonomy, and soon.


I accept this argument, but I nonetheless have some follow-up questions about the above excerpt. Do you remember making an informed decision to believe in Allah, prior to realising that you were gay? Or do you feel that you were 'born muslim' in almost the same way that you were 'born gay'?

Also, this is minor, but you start a sentence with 'the hadith states...' but you don't mention which hadiths you follow or may be referencing (regarding sodomy etc). Different scholars and clerics classify different hadiths with varying degrees of authenticity -- and don't always agree with each other, even within the same denomination of Islam -- so it might be helpful for other Muslim readers out there to know a bit more about which hadiths you follow, and why. Hey, maybe this could be a future blog!

Thank you for the feedback! Genuinely the first one I have had for the blog. You are right, I feel like I was born Muslim just as much as I was born gay. It is something that I have always been, and known. I didn't make a concsious decision to believe in Allah, just that I have always believed. If that makes sense. In any rate I smdint shun my religion, and it is something I hold dearly.

As for the Hadith I will clarify that. I realise there are a lot of scholars and thoughts, and I should have been more specific to the ones that I follow/understand. I will rectify the post, and possibly create a new blog entry for the differing thoughts. Thank you for that .

 

[a21f]

Do you want feedback on your writing itself, or on the views and experiences it expresses?

Kudos for sharing this with people, as there aren't many gay muslim voices out there, for obvious reasons. I've come across some relatively gay-friendly, liberal muslims in London, but they are invariably university-educated muslims in their twenties or early thirties. It sounds like you need your own space and autonomy, and soon.


I accept this argument, but I nonetheless have some follow-up questions about the above excerpt. Do you remember making an informed decision to believe in Allah, prior to realising that you were gay? Or do you feel that you were 'born muslim' in almost the same way that you were 'born gay'?

Also, this is minor, but you start a sentence with 'the hadith states...' but you don't mention which hadiths you follow or may be referencing (regarding sodomy etc). Different scholars and clerics classify different hadiths with varying degrees of authenticity -- and don't always agree with each other, even within the same denomination of Islam -- so it might be helpful for other Muslim readers out there to know a bit more about which hadiths you follow, and why. Hey, maybe this could be a future blog!

Also I wouldn't mind feedback on the writing style. I'm trying to make it flow like a story, or diary style entry. I hope that they do convey a story to readers.

 

[Beedie Tijii]

Thank you for the feedback! Genuinely the first one I have had for the blog. You are right, I feel like I was born Muslim just as much as I was born gay. It is something that I have always been, and known. I didn't make a concsious decision to believe in Allah, just that I have always believed. If that makes sense. In any rate I smdint shun my religion, and it is something I hold dearly.

But, at some point -- presumably after you 'came out' to yourself -- you decided to attempt to audit and alter your belief to allow for you to reconcile that you are gay and Muslim? And this is still a work-in-progress?

Is this a conflict that exists in Islamic doctrine regardless of your own experiences? Do you think you would still have questions about why being gay is considered haram if you weren't gay yourself? If the answer is yes, then where does the contradiction come from, do you think?

 

[a21f]

But, at some point -- presumably after you 'came out' to yourself -- you decided to attempt to audit and alter your belief to allow for you to reconcile that you are gay and Muslim? And this is still a work-in-progress?

Is this a conflict that exists in Islamic doctrine regardless of your own experiences? Do you think you would still have questions about why being gay is considered haram if you weren't gay yourself? If the answer is yes, then where does the contradiction come from, do you think?

Yes of course. I had to think deep and hard about how I could reconcile the two. I have come to a place where I am comfortable with both and that took some time. I still practice the main aspects of my religion, but I also want to be happy and express my feelings, and sexuality.

I feel many gay Muslims find it difficult to reconcile the two. It is a very common fact that Islam does not have accepting views towards homosexuality, and this isn't going to change. Whilst there are some communities (in America) that have set up gay mosques and things, this is highly disregarded and not accepted. In western countries it may be more accepted but that is because the younger generation of Muslims are more liberal. Maybe in a few more generations time you may see a shift and people not caring so much. I have seen documentaries on gay Muslims and they show people in similar situations to me. Some are out and shunned by families and communities. Others are keeping quiet and going through with sham marriages to keep their parents happy. I personally couldn't do the sham marriage and have accepted that I may lose my family when I come out.

As for if I were to be just as inquisitive had I not been gay. That is a difficult question to answer as I may not feel as strongly about this as I am not in the situation. I would like to think I would be accepting is f any of my Muslim friends were gay, or if siblings were as I think the core values I have would the same. I would still like to be a good person and help others as much as I can. As it is now I know why it is haram, but I don't see Islam accepting it any time soon.

 

[TheRob]

I have feedback, be careful man
and good luck

 

[ActionBuddy]

Thank Allah that you don't live in an ISIS controlled area!

A/B

 

[a21f]

Thank Allah that you don't live in an ISIS controlled area!

A/B

Yeah it would be a different story completely.

 

[a21f]

I have feedback, be careful man
and good luck

Thanks, I will always be careful. I realise that its a taboo subject and I am telling my story on a public forum, however I want to help those that haven't got anyone to turn to and feel alone in their plight of being muslim and gay. My story may help people, or show them the ugly side of the two, who knows?

 

[TheRob]

Thanks, I will always be careful. I realise that its a taboo subject and I am telling my story on a public forum, however I want to help those that haven't got anyone to turn to and feel alone in their plight of being muslim and gay. My story may help people, or show them the ugly side of the two, who knows?

the problem is you will be besieged by virtually all sides.
the extreame on the right wont care because you are Muslim and gay, the extream on the left won't want to hear it because you are sharing a story that highlights how poorly many (tho I assume not all) Muslim cultures treat gay folks. So they will say you are racist for pointing it out. at least this is how I see it going. perhaps you will fare better but I expect you will only really find acceptance from the truly open minded
good luck

 

[a21f]

the problem is you will be besieged by virtually all sides.
the extreame on the right wont care because you are Muslim and gay, the extream on the left won't want to hear it because you are sharing a story that highlights how poorly many (tho I assume not all) Muslim cultures treat gay folks. So they will say you are racist for pointing it out. at least this is how I see it going. perhaps you will fare better but I expect you will only really find acceptance from the truly open minded
good luck

That is true, but I expect all that as its such a taboo subject that doesn't get talked about a lot. I'm not looking for acceptsnce, I'm looking to give other gay Muslims a glimpse of my story, perhaps something they can relate to. For the rest consider it entertainment or like a diary of another gay mans life.

 

[TheRob]

I'll tell you this, you will have a very rare perspective on things
maybe you should see about writing (maybe under a pen name?) for a website or news place

 

[Galloper]

Yeah it would be a different story completely.

Probably no story. bud.

 

[a21f]

I'll tell you this, you will have a very rare perspective on things
maybe you should see about writing (maybe under a pen name?) for a website or news place

Thank you. I haven't considered that yet as I wanted to see the reaction to the blog, but it's definitely something to look into in the future

 

[a21f]

Probably no story. bud.

Sadly that is very true. My heart goes out to those struggling with being who they are and were meant to be.

 

[328982]

I really enjoyed your blog and reading about your experiences.

 

[virtualknob]

Thank Allah that you don't live in an ISIS controlled area!

A/B

yes....the luck of the lottery of birthright....being born in so many places is a terrible misfortune these days, as always......I thanked the good Lord I wasn't born during the crusades, or when homosexuality had us committed to death or asylum....or in Belfast during the troubles between Christians....or more recently in a place like Laramie in the good old US....may Matthew Shepard rest in peace......but who knows what's in store under the new regime......my Muslim friends are very unsettled....as am I and many of my LGBTQ friends.....and our families....

 

[a21f]

I really enjoyed your blog and reading about your experiences.

Thank you, glad you liked