BLOW JOBS--APPARENTLY MANY OF THEM SUCK?

[13788]

learningirl: Hi everyone,

Ok, I am baffled about something and I hope that you can help me with this! I find it fascinating and shocking!

A year ago or so, I got out of a LOOOOOOONG relationship, so it's been a long time since I've been going down on anyone other than my now-ex. But since I've started seeing people again and ... ahem, engaging in certain acts, I've finally become aware that the rumors and flattery I've gotten in the past might actually not be just flattery.

Most recently my lover said he wished he could get a t-shirt with my image and name on it, he was so shocked he thought that the world should know how good that was.

He told me that most blow jobs he's had have been BAD. That women who give good blow jobs are rare! What?????

I'm SO confused! Frankly, fellas and ladies, I don't think what I've been doin' is all that amazing. I mean, I certainly give it my all and do my best to make it as good as possible -- I'm really big on communication, etc. -- but SERIOUSLY... how could people give such shitty blowjobs? (oral sex with WOMEN is another story altogether.... I KNOW how men can do THAT badly&#33


SO I asked around recently. Talked to any guy friends I ran into that I could talk that openly with... and was amazed to find that many of them agreed, yeah, most blowjobs are BAD, and some even said they didn't like them.

I am amazed!

SO. Guys, can you please explain to me, say, what makes a good and what makes a bad blowjob?

--Also, what percentage would you say of the blowjobs you've had have been GOOD?

--Anyone who's been with men and women -- I'm so curious; I'd imagine men'd be better at blowjobs than women... and I want tips!

--I'm also curious... how many of you do NOT go down on your girlfriends/lovers?

Thanks!!!!!!!!! :9

 

[Knight]

Hi and welcome to the SG

Anyways I myself have never had a blowjob *hears sad violins playing* I think I said before my gf is scared of my dinky winky. She digs her nails in too o,O but slowly we are both learning. I go down on my gf all the time, but my tongue needs to be stronger so I can stay down there longer hehe.

So yeah most blowjobs and even anything done by a girl isn't too great (besides actual sex which isnt difficult or as technical as a bj/hj) as I would imagine many men arent too good (at least straight away) at oral or fingering a girl. Although I've got the fingering down too

Back to your question...what it requires is some research/knowledge/practice. Most men like to have their frenulum (back of the penis head, it connects to the shaft) licked etc. You have a talent, you should be well chuffed (happy)

I would also think gay guys know what a guy likes, just as lesbian girls would too.

Good blowjob = enthusiasm, playing with the sensetive areas
Bad blowjob = not really into it, has no idea what theyre doing

 

[Freddie53]

The first and foremost part of a bad blowjob is knowing that the person doing it is uncomfortable and dosn't want you to come in the mouth. When a perosn giving the blow job number one concern is watching to make sure when the ejaculation takes place then the blow job isn't going to be great.

But when the person giving the blow job really realy wants to do it and really want you to come in the mouth and enjoys when that happens and you know that they are going to enjoy it, then that is going to very very significanlty affect the quality of the blow job.

I think this is the most important part of the blow job. Sure knowing great techniques and all just enhance it even more. But technique alone is not enough.

Originally posted by learningirl@Apr 12 2005, 07:52 PM
Hi everyone,

Ok, I am baffled about something and I hope that you can help me with this!  I find it fascinating and shocking!

A year ago or so, I got out of a LOOOOOOONG relationship, so it's been a long time since I've been going down on anyone other than my now-ex.  But since I've started seeing people again and ... ahem, engaging in certain acts, I've finally become aware that the rumors and flattery I've gotten in the past might actually not be just flattery.

Most recently my lover said he wished he could get a t-shirt with my image and name on it, he was so shocked he thought that the world should know how good that was.

He told me that most blow jobs he's had have been BAD.  That women who give good blow jobs are rare!  What?????

I'm SO confused!  Frankly, fellas and ladies, I don't think what I've been doin' is all that amazing.  I mean, I certainly give it my all and do my best to make it as good as possible -- I'm really big on communication, etc. -- but SERIOUSLY... how could people give such shitty blowjobs?  (oral sex with WOMEN is another story altogether.... I KNOW how men can do THAT badly&#33


SO I asked around recently.  Talked to any guy friends I ran into that I could talk that openly with... and was amazed to find that many of them agreed, yeah, most  blowjobs are BAD, and some even said they didn't like them.

I am amazed!

SO.  Guys, can you please explain to me, say, what makes a good and what makes a bad blowjob? 

--Also, what percentage would you say of the blowjobs you've had have been GOOD? 

--Anyone who's been with men and women -- I'm so curious; I'd imagine men'd be better at blowjobs than women... and I want tips!

--I'm also curious... how many of you do NOT go down on your girlfriends/lovers?

Thanks!!!!!!!!!  :9

[post=300137]Quoted post[/post]​

 

[13788]

learningirl:

Originally posted by Knight@Apr 12 2005, 08:11 PM
Hi and welcome to the SG

Anyways I myself have never had a blowjob *hears sad violins playing* I think I said before my gf is scared of my dinky winky. She digs her nails in too o,O but slowly we are both learning. I go down on my gf all the time, but my tongue needs to be stronger so I can stay down there longer hehe.............

Hi there, Knight! Thanks for the response. I have noticed as I've perused the site, by the way, that you seem to know more than many folks do... about women, etc. and that's been refreshing to read. (I wasn't a member then so couldn't respond to your postings.)

Wow. Never? :wow: SEE? I am just so amazed! I mean, not necessarily amazed by the lack of blow jobs in the world but the fact that I have just always ASSUMED that people were all basically doin', ya know, the same kinda stuff I was. I mean, I was one of those who was going to be a virgin when married... (ha), so therefore had to learn with my boyfriend... you know, OTHER things that would satisfy.

WELL. I'm beginning to think that we need to have a new sexual revolution and people need to all go to oral sex-ed or something. 'Cause it's GREAT!

AND by the way, PROPS to you, Knight, for goin' down on your girl. And I will echo here something that you pointed out, which is one of the main things I've been thinking about when it comes to people being comfortable/shy in bed, etc:

Enthusiasm!!!! Yes! As you said, it's so important that the person who is receiving not feel like their partner is miserable, or just passing time, or only doing it for his/her sake, etc.

IF there were ONE secret I could pass on to men about how to be a better lover with a woman (a woman like me, anyway,) it would be THIS:

WHATEVER YOU DO: Make her feel like you cannot HELP but go down on her. Like she is the sexiest thing alive, and all you want to do is lick her all over.

Thing is, people are SO SHY about oral sex sometimes, that one little miscommunication, or hint that it's not enjoyable for you, could turn your partner off to it for A LONG TIME.. or for good. Again, sadly, I speak from experience. Although, not so sad... I mean, I was with a man first off who really... did ... enjoy... everything about a woman. And from that experience? Not ONLY is that the same kind of experience I give back to my lovers (and I DO enjoy it! It's fun to please the person you're with&#33 but that's the kind of experience I know I can have, and that is essential to me if I'm gonna be in a sexual relationship with a person.

OK OK. Thanks for listening. I type really fast. Sorry for the long long notes.

OH -- one more thing for knight tho... curious: you said your girl is "afraid" meaning she won't um... well, go down on you, right? I wonder why? I mean, I'm not being sarcastic, I"m being honest. Perhaps a reminder that I believe (I THINK) there are more "germs" or whatever the fear might be in the human mouth than there are commonly on your (generous) member?

 

[13788]

learningirl:

The first and foremost part of a bad blowjob is knowing that the person doing it is uncomfortable and dosn't want you to come in the mouth. When a perosn giving the blow job number one concern is watching to make sure when the ejaculation takes place then the blow job isn't going to be great.

But when the person giving the blow job really realy wants to do it and really want you to come in the mouth and enjoys when that happens and you know that they are going to enjoy it, then that is going to very very significanlty affect the quality of the blow job.

I think this is the most important part of the blow job. Sure knowing great techniques and all just enhance it even more. But technique alone is not enough.

Hi everyone,

Hi Freddie--

AHA!! Once again, you made the same point, even more clearly! (I mean, a point knight made and I just made in a response to him) about enthusiasm. And yes, it really does make a huge difference! OHHH:

You also mentioned SWALLOWING. Ok, I TOTALLY forgot to ask about that. Now, I understand in today's day and age, I mean, we're all a wee bit nervous about diseases, right? I mean, I HOPE so! But anyway, yeah, I've always just been a swallowing kinda gal; spitting gives that impression of being grossed out.

SO: NOW I have another question: OF the blowjobs you've had, if any, how many swallowed vs. spit, would you guess????

 

[faceking]

10% are unbelievable.
15% are good
50% are mediocre
20% suck
5% hurt

 

[blackwood]

Originally posted by learningirl@Apr 13 2005, 12:52 AM
Hi everyone,

Ok, I am baffled about something and I hope that you can help me with this! I find it fascinating and shocking!

A year ago or so, I got out of a LOOOOOOONG relationship, so it's been a long time since I've been going down on anyone other than my now-ex. But since I've started seeing people again and ... ahem, engaging in certain acts, I've finally become aware that the rumors and flattery I've gotten in the past might actually not be just flattery.

Most recently my lover said he wished he could get a t-shirt with my image and name on it, he was so shocked he thought that the world should know how good that was.

He told me that most blow jobs he's had have been BAD. That women who give good blow jobs are rare! What?????

I'm SO confused! Frankly, fellas and ladies, I don't think what I've been doin' is all that amazing. I mean, I certainly give it my all and do my best to make it as good as possible -- I'm really big on communication, etc. -- but SERIOUSLY... how could people give such shitty blowjobs? (oral sex with WOMEN is another story altogether.... I KNOW how men can do THAT badly&#33


SO I asked around recently. Talked to any guy friends I ran into that I could talk that openly with... and was amazed to find that many of them agreed, yeah, most blowjobs are BAD, and some even said they didn't like them.

I am amazed!

SO. Guys, can you please explain to me, say, what makes a good and what makes a bad blowjob?

--Also, what percentage would you say of the blowjobs you've had have been GOOD?

--Anyone who's been with men and women -- I'm so curious; I'd imagine men'd be better at blowjobs than women... and I want tips!

--I'm also curious... how many of you do NOT go down on your girlfriends/lovers?

Thanks!!!!!!!!! :9

[post=300137]Quoted post[/post]​

learningirl,

The few blow jobs that I would call good were "fantastic". The bad, just that, bad.

The fantastic caught me by surprise, in that my partner would even try. And to be so willing, experimenting with nibbles and toung strokes, spreading the attention all around and especially the coronal ridge and frenula not leaving out the meatus.
NOT rushing and being just as pleased with what her attention to my penis was doing to me in general. Good ones and what makes them good in my opinion, is a secret of the giver. Maybe not totally easy to explain.

and.........Just as I feel right now, uhhh, nothing more to contribute.

Thanks for the topic..............

blackwood.

 

[13788]

learningirl: Oh.... Faceking... curious: When you say that 20% suck, do you mean... the figure of speech, or like they're usin' you like a (very large) straw???

I'm so curious. Gents, you're helping humankind by responding; I can't let this info go to waste; I'm gonna have to write for women's magazines or something about this. Cause damn, this ain't right! I mean, I'm a FEMINIST, not just a woman (oh don't freak out at that term, puh-LEASE.) As you can see I care about equality... meaning... well hell, I think both people should be having fabulous oral, as well as coital, sex.

 

[Knight]

I know what you mean about the whole world is having oral sex, I think so too, everyone but me lol. Anyways at least you're doing it well. I think my gf is scared to hurt my penis or something or maybe cos its bigger than what she's had before...Hopefully I can get her to touch me and stuff this weekend hehe.


Anyways since your a feminist if I say a woman's place is in the kitchen what would you say? Hypothetically of course


I also think communication is what's needed for good oral like not many guys would tell a girl she's doing a bad job and he's about to fall asleep, they just go with it. We all need pointers about what turns our partners on, that and enthusiasm makes for great sex (oral and all other kinds...even scat lol)

 

[KinkGuy]

Even as a gay guy, I've had few really wonderful blowjobs. I have "girth" issues and generally the teeth and then the whole gagging thing happens....and I'm not all that thick. Supposedly, men give better BJ''s than women.....but the best was my ex-wife, many years ago, because thrusting was welcomed and she enjoyed it! But just about the best, is laying back and having a really talented mouth/throat do it's best. I think you've really explained it in your post learningirl, you enjoy it! That's the magic!

 

[zaphod]

When your partner says "If you come in my mouth, I'll throw up" it kind of puts a damper on your whole mood. (That happenned to me once, needless to say, the blowjob wasn't successfull). I've only had one partner who gave a really good blowjob, so far.

 

[Lex]

I was always told that the stupider you think you look, the better you're probably doing.

WANTING to do it a please your partner is a HUGE part of it (size issues of my friends here notwithstanding).

 

[madame_zora]

Enthusiasm helps a lot, mastering breathing techniques so you can "stay down on it" longer is good, and learning non-verbal communication between you and your partner. Every guy likes things a little different, so just because you get good at giving head to a certain guy doesn't mean the next guy will find the same things appealing.

To be really good at anything, you must be a perpetual student. I think the very fact that you are posting here for tips and info says a lot about how you feel about yourself, and I'm glad to have you on board, LearningGirl!

 

[13788]

gamma_phi: Never had a mind blowing blowjob. Never even had a good blowjob. I mean, i've gotten off on the blowjob I did get, just kinda sitting back and trying hard to let go. I mean, one was so bad that I even went limp - blaming it on stress and stuff so she wouldn't feel bad. I think men and women who give good blowjobs do so b/c they really WANT to do it and make their partner feel good. I think the others have some apprehension that keeps them from sucking without inhibition. As a result, you get a suck that SUCKS!

Oh, and I love going down on women. I love eating pussy, it's great! And I think I'm good at it too. And it's probably b/c I REALLY want to do it and want my partner to feel good. Just my two cents.

 

[13788]

learningirl:

Originally posted by madame_zora@Apr 13 2005, 04:47 AM
Enthusiasm helps a lot, mastering breathing techniques so you can "stay down on it" longer is good, and learning non-verbal communication between you and your partner. Every guy likes things a little different, so just because you get good at giving head to a certain guy doesn't mean the next guy will find the same things appealing.

To be really good at anything, you must be a perpetual student. I think the very fact that you are posting here for tips and info says a lot about how you feel about yourself, and I'm glad to have you on board, LearningGirl!

[post=300233]Quoted post[/post]​

Hi Zora and Gamma Phi, Lex, Zaphod, KinkGuy, Blackwood, et al:


Thank you SO much for your responsees -- I'm SO happy to hear your opinions -- but you know what's NOT good about this? You have NOT proven to me that people do commonly give good blow jobs out there... actually, it's the opposite, just as I'd feared!!

And by the way, to you fabulous gents who do indeed go down on your women; BRAVO. See, I had this (perhaps misguided) idea that women always go down on guys, but men less frequently go down on women....... Which could be totally untrue; I dunno!

What i DO know is that if I'm going down on him, he's going down on me, end of story. I mean, in general, in the relationship. I consider it very important! To me, pleasing each other is a sign of a healthy, sexy relationship... of course, there are always extenuating circumstances sometimes -- I don't mean to bash anyone's relationship here; I'm just talking about my own preferences.

But frankly part of the pleasure of sex for me is pleasing the other person; I'm encouraged to see that you guys seem to feel the same way. And you all responded with a resounding cry of "enthusiasm" as being the key to a good blow job (and good eating out, I might add). Also, communication, communication, communication! And guys, by the way, I feel and believe that the best way to make her more comfortable with the prospect of going down on you, or just with sex in general, is to flatter her as much as possible and BE ENthusiastic... and .. I dunno, take time to just lie there naked; gaze at her body, touch every inch of it... .explore each other!

So, it saddens me, SOOOOO saddens me, that you guys have not had better oral sex experiences! It's shocking! Ack! Hmm. Maybe I should start teaching sex ed for adults. Maybe we ALL should!

And by the way, who was it who gave me great tips with the medical terminology (it's been so great to be communicating with men who are as aware of such things as I am... I've been surprised how many guys never learned the names for their 'parts', etc. I was given books as a kid; that was my sex ed, so I memorized the diagrams.) THANKS for the tips, and please I would love MORE RESPONSES! This is great!

 

[jonb]

1. Don't take so much that you start to gag! You can take anywhere from just teasing with your tongue to as much as you can take without gagging and each depth feels good for its own reasons, but once you gag, that's disgusting. Instead, you should use your hands.
2. Don't worry about the ejaculate. It's mostly water and various sugars. If you just have a phobia of semen, don't give blowjobs. Or you can just attack it from the side.
3. NO TEETH. YEOWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Learn new techniques. If your partner's uncircumcised, there are things you can do with the foreskin which quite a few women don't know about because sex books assume the foreskin never developed in utero.

 

[madame_zora]

Wow, Jon, you don't like girls gagging on your dick? I thought that was a fetish thing.
j/k. The funny thing about women giving blowjobs is that if you do a halfway decent job at all, the guy is gonna shower us with so many compliments we'll think we're the shit!
Most of my g/fs and I who trade stories have had guys seriously bombard us with praise, and anymore I think it's a pretty simple matter of being into it that makes it good. Any effort at technique at all will have him forever in awe, since so many women are so awful. Too many women think their role in sex is just "giving it up", which has got to be so monotonous for the guy. I've been with guys who were dead lays, and there's not much that's more of a turn-off.

Jon said it, use your hands, massage his balls, stroke his tummy, treasure trail (or that area if he's smoothe), inner thighs, around to the bottom of his shaft, and all the while have your mouth and tongue worshiping at the pole. Cum is full of protien and leaves a tingling feeling in your mouth, proper reward for a job well done. How can you expect him to go down of you if you're rude about his ejaculate? Learn to like how each other's body works and sex is a lifetime of joy.

 

[jonb]

Yeah, one girl I know always said when he cums that's just his way of saying "well played".

 

[Dr. Bubbles]

I do not think I can really add much more here than what has been said. You have received excellent advise.

Be comfortable with yourself and him. Guys know when you are a little hesitant about doing something and vice-versa. Explore new things... ask him what he likes. Men, like women, will help guide you, especially if you are sincere and truly want to please him.

Also, there is one spot that I have learned that is very sensitive to guys (well, the one's that I have been with). Under their "sac," there is a smooth area. Rub it gently while giving head... even explore it with your tongue while stroking him. The guys I know have said it is very sensual and sensitive.

 

[txquis]

I've been told often that i am good at it...
and if i am...i think part of the reason is, as Madame Z pointed out,
i like doing it.
I'm enthused.

I also listen to my partner....not every partner likes that done in the same way.
You can tell the people who get locked in a pattern....they do the things that
the previous guy liked.
Well, not everyone is the same, and you have to feel out the situation (preferably with your mouth LOL)
and figure out how *this person likes it,
what will get *him off.

And dont forget to breathe.