Body Dysmorphia... Being Tall

angelo1776

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So, hello! I'm a 21 year old guy, and I'm 6'2 / 188 CM. I currently weigh about 182 pounds / around 83 KG and recently I've found myself struggling with body image, yet again. This is nothing new to me, mind you. While in high school, I was, obviously, still a developing teen, and I had no idea what my body type was. I felt (and still feel) insecure because I was comparing myself to people who had the build for getting really big, AKA the mesomorph body. Seeing that specific body get celebrated so frequently got to me, and as an ectomorph with long arms and legs,I felt very insecure.

Now, since January of this year, I've gone on another gym journey, this time focusing on getting stronger, and thus, bigger. I'm definitely stronger, and I see my muscles everywhere developing. Yet, I still compare myself to the huge mesomorphs I see online, and yearn for that. I created an illusion of what my body looks like, and trying to convince myself that I have the body type I simply don't have. I get scared to eat less than I do, because the thought of loosing the size i've amassed for myself is quite discomfortable. Especially because just last year, I suffered from an eating disorder that made myself hover around the 138 pound / 63 KG mark. With labels in the gay community like "twink", I have fear of becoming that again in other people's eyes, even when I know that's not even who I am. I know I'm much, much, much more than a simple label or what my body looks like; I know I'm an individual worth more than simply physical appearance.

Despite my difficulties, past and very recent, I'm taking action towards this. I am changing my diet to not gorge myself with food / force myself to eat when I'm full, but rather eating how and when I feel comfortable. I'm continuing my strength training, and I'm excited to keep getting stronger and to hopefully get leaner, as I have some belly fat from all the food I've been consuming. But I still, like today, feel body dysmorphia, and I feel like it may be something that I deal with for a long time, but that it can be something I can manage and control better. I'm heavily attracted to the mesomorph body type, and because of that, I wanted to BECOME that so that I feel self-love.

But I'm realizing that I need to love my body more for what MY body is, not what HIS body is, or how I want my body to look like HIS. It's a painful pill to swallow, though.

I'm hoping that this can reach someone, anyone. Please let me know if you're a tall guy with long limbs, if you feel what I'm speaking on. And wish me luck, because though I know I can do this, I also know it's gonna be a hard road to go down, managing my body dysmorphia. And if you have any advice or experience with this, feel free to share. Please.
 

RyanMars

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Being tall and skinny is nice. It's all subjective. I think being confident is a life long battle. There will be ppl who always trigger us and bring out our insecurities and also just body changes. It's a struggle. I dont have an answer but good to know I am not alone too. Good luck.
 

ASK JEFF

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Hey there. I tell it like it is, it might be harsh, but it’s always the truth and always with love! ❤️

Stop for a moment. You’d be surprised how many men your age, younger and older look at you and think “Man, I wish I was that tall”, or, “I wish I was tall and built like him.”, etc. It DOES happen, you just don’t hear it or notice it. you know it happens because you do it to others. But, there is a difference between acknowledging or appreciating someone’s God-given looks and body, and being in a room with rock walls trying to figure out how to be just like them. It’s unrealistic and very damaging mentally.

Okay, so… you are unhappy with your body type and say you suffer from body dysmorphia. Well, got news for ya… you’re stuck with your body. Period. You can make changes to it in a healthy way, like working out at the gym as you have been, eating well, etc. You can still do all of this and have the same feelings, and the fact of the matter is—with your mentality about yourself now—you could look like Brad Pitt and still wish you were taller, or were a bit heavier, more muscled, different hair color, and on and on and on. It’s a nasty cycle. You’ll never be happy with yourself in that partitioned view of yourself. So, pull that curtain down and start a fresh new morning.

You are a HUMAN BEING. YOU ARE UNIQUE, ONE-OF-A-KIND MAN WHO NOBODY CAN REPLICATE. LOVE THAT. LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS UNIQUE. And then think, “why would I want to look like everyone else, wouldn’t that be boring for me once the novelty wore off?”

Be positive about your height, your weight, your motivation to fitness and healthy lifestyle and overall appearance. YOU are worth that. YOU are worth loving YOURSELF and BELIEVING in YOURSELF. YOU ARE BETTER than standing in a mirror wishing you were someone else or looked like someone other than yourself. Think of that and think of YOU. It’s heartbreaking. Seriously look into the mirror and genuinely tell that guy staring back that you have known since day one “you aren’t good enough, you make me unhappy.” That’s devastating and heartbreaking because you know the TRUTH. YOU ARE WORTH so, so, so much more. You have to KNOW YOURSELF before you can LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF and always have KIND WORDS for yourself. ALWAYS. NO negative thoughts going forward.

I think it would also be a great idea to seek out a therapist who specializes in body dysmorphia as well. They will be well trained with individuals who present one way, yet feel completely the opposite.

kisses on all your pink parts,
JEFF
 

RyanMars

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Hey there. I tell it like it is, it might be harsh, but it’s always the truth and always with love! ❤️

Stop for a moment. You’d be surprised how many men your age, younger and older look at you and think “Man, I wish I was that tall”, or, “I wish I was tall and built like him.”, etc. It DOES happen, you just don’t hear it or notice it. you know it happens because you do it to others. But, there is a difference between acknowledging or appreciating someone’s God-given looks and body, and being in a room with rock walls trying to figure out how to be just like them. It’s unrealistic and very damaging mentally.

Okay, so… you are unhappy with your body type and say you suffer from body dysmorphia. Well, got news for ya… you’re stuck with your body. Period. You can make changes to it in a healthy way, like working out at the gym as you have been, eating well, etc. You can still do all of this and have the same feelings, and the fact of the matter is—with your mentality about yourself now—you could look like Brad Pitt and still wish you were taller, or were a bit heavier, more muscled, different hair color, and on and on and on. It’s a nasty cycle. You’ll never be happy with yourself in that partitioned view of yourself. So, pull that curtain down and start a fresh new morning.

You are a HUMAN BEING. YOU ARE UNIQUE, ONE-OF-A-KIND MAN WHO NOBODY CAN REPLICATE. LOVE THAT. LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS UNIQUE. And then think, “why would I want to look like everyone else, wouldn’t that be boring for me once the novelty wore off?”

Be positive about your height, your weight, your motivation to fitness and healthy lifestyle and overall appearance. YOU are worth that. YOU are worth loving YOURSELF and BELIEVING in YOURSELF. YOU ARE BETTER than standing in a mirror wishing you were someone else or looked like someone other than yourself. Think of that and think of YOU. It’s heartbreaking. Seriously look into the mirror and genuinely tell that guy staring back that you have known since day one “you aren’t good enough, you make me unhappy.” That’s devastating and heartbreaking because you know the TRUTH. YOU ARE WORTH so, so, so much more. You have to KNOW YOURSELF before you can LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF and always have KIND WORDS for yourself. ALWAYS. NO negative thoughts going forward.

I think it would also be a great idea to seek out a therapist who specializes in body dysmorphia as well. They will be well trained with individuals who present one way, yet feel completely the opposite.

kisses on all your pink parts,
JEFF
i dont know why ppl dont give compliments, they could really help alot of ppls self esteam. so many ppl are stingy with compliments. like they notice something they like and say nothing. i always compliment ppl if i like somthing. you could make someones day.
 

Hardfunlongrides

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Your body type is beautiful, and being infatuated with the other body type is a common theme, but it doesn’t have to be at your own expense. Know there is a mesomorphic guy out there that fantasizes about being with someone like you, that wants to adore your body, feel it, be held entangled with you as much as you do- seeing and feeling someone adoring your physical body will make you realize what is special about you. The more difficult part is bringing the mature and loving mind that makes that passion even better, finding your counterpart that makes your life, sexual and otherwise, more complete and truly fulfilling.
 

curtain_swoosh

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we are the exact same height.

i think comparing yourself to others is pretty normal, theres nothing wrong with you.

of course im not a therapist or a doctor but conparing yourself to others is dangerous. appreciate what you have
 
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bravesoldier

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I can identify. After high school I was a very skinny young man, even though I liked being slim. But, it came to the point that I was skinny for so many years that I developed a negative mindset about it. Now that I'm in my late 50's, of course I am no longer than skinny young man, but definitely not fat. In a heel I stand at a perfect 6'0 and weigh 189, just a touch heavier than I think I should. My ideal weight for my height and frame is about 178-180. So, I know a guy at work that fits the description you gave of yourself. He is very cute and his tall, lanky appearance to me is what makes him so cute. I do admit his appearance is a touch gangly, but again, is what makes him so ruthlessly cute.

So, like the poster above, don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you are a lot more appealing than you may ever think.
 

Jmd3434

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So, hello! I'm a 21 year old guy, and I'm 6'2 / 188 CM. I currently weigh about 182 pounds / around 83 KG and recently I've found myself struggling with body image, yet again. This is nothing new to me, mind you. While in high school, I was, obviously, still a developing teen, and I had no idea what my body type was. I felt (and still feel) insecure because I was comparing myself to people who had the build for getting really big, AKA the mesomorph body. Seeing that specific body get celebrated so frequently got to me, and as an ectomorph with long arms and legs,I felt very insecure.

Now, since January of this year, I've gone on another gym journey, this time focusing on getting stronger, and thus, bigger. I'm definitely stronger, and I see my muscles everywhere developing. Yet, I still compare myself to the huge mesomorphs I see online, and yearn for that. I created an illusion of what my body looks like, and trying to convince myself that I have the body type I simply don't have. I get scared to eat less than I do, because the thought of loosing the size i've amassed for myself is quite discomfortable. Especially because just last year, I suffered from an eating disorder that made myself hover around the 138 pound / 63 KG mark. With labels in the gay community like "twink", I have fear of becoming that again in other people's eyes, even when I know that's not even who I am. I know I'm much, much, much more than a simple label or what my body looks like; I know I'm an individual worth more than simply physical appearance.

Despite my difficulties, past and very recent, I'm taking action towards this. I am changing my diet to not gorge myself with food / force myself to eat when I'm full, but rather eating how and when I feel comfortable. I'm continuing my strength training, and I'm excited to keep getting stronger and to hopefully get leaner, as I have some belly fat from all the food I've been consuming. But I still, like today, feel body dysmorphia, and I feel like it may be something that I deal with for a long time, but that it can be something I can manage and control better. I'm heavily attracted to the mesomorph body type, and because of that, I wanted to BECOME that so that I feel self-love.

But I'm realizing that I need to love my body more for what MY body is, not what HIS body is, or how I want my body to look like HIS. It's a painful pill to swallow, though.

I'm hoping that this can reach someone, anyone. Please let me know if you're a tall guy with long limbs, if you feel what I'm speaking on. And wish me luck, because though I know I can do this, I also know it's gonna be a hard road to go down, managing my body dysmorphia. And if you have any advice or experience with this, feel free to share. Please.
I can understand as I'm not that tall only 5'10 but I weigh 110 pounds and feel horrible about my body. I really feel like a skeleton with skin on. I'm working on improving my body and gain healthy weight and muscle but having the same body type as you I know I will never look like one of those jock football players and while kinda disappointing for me I have to except what I can't change and focus on what I can. While you can be attracted to that mesomorph type very often that mesomorph type may be much more attracted to your body type. I've been surprised by guys I thought would not be in to me at all because of being a skinny twig but lots of mesomorph guys seemed to like the way they could almost throw me around and said I was much better and more fun then guys with the mesomorph body type. To each there own and it's really about being happy with yourself. I'm sure your in much better shape than me and I wish I were taller and more muscular and while I'll never really get any taller I can get in better shape so I'll be happy with that. You are an amazing beautiful man and I hope you will see yourself in a better light. The grass always seems greener on the otherside but is it really?? BTW I'd love to look at you naked and there are plenty of people out there that would worship your body. Try to stay positive and keep eating right and working out and just focus on what makes you happy and everything else will fall into place. Remember you are amazing, beautiful, unique, strong individual. And if you need more compliments send me a nude of yourself and I'll again tell you how beautiful you are? ☺
 

ASK JEFF

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I can understand as I'm not that tall only 5'10 but I weigh 110 pounds and feel horrible about my body. I really feel like a skeleton with skin on. I'm working on improving my body and gain healthy weight and muscle but having the same body type as you I know I will never look like one of those jock football players and while kinda disappointing for me I have to except what I can't change and focus on what I can. While you can be attracted to that mesomorph type very often that mesomorph type may be much more attracted to your body type. I've been surprised by guys I thought would not be in to me at all because of being a skinny twig but lots of mesomorph guys seemed to like the way they could almost throw me around and said I was much better and more fun then guys with the mesomorph body type. To each there own and it's really about being happy with yourself. I'm sure your in much better shape than me and I wish I were taller and more muscular and while I'll never really get any taller I can get in better shape so I'll be happy with that. You are an amazing beautiful man and I hope you will see yourself in a better light. The grass always seems greener on the otherside but is it really?? BTW I'd love to look at you naked and there are plenty of people out there that would worship your body. Try to stay positive and keep eating right and working out and just focus on what makes you happy and everything else will fall into place. Remember you are amazing, beautiful, unique, strong individual. And if you need more compliments send me a nude of yourself and I'll again tell you how beautiful you are? ☺
JMD Knows!

kisses on your incredible pink parts ❤️
JEFF
 

angelo1776

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Hey all!
Not sure if you will see this, or if you are following this thread at all, but if so, I just want to say THANK YOU ALL SO, SO MUCH for ALL of the love. I haven't taken a look at this thread since I posted it, as I wanted to work on myself and focus on my education, but all of the posts were beautifully written, and I resonated deeply with all them, so thank you.
I've been working on my body dysmorphia ever since this post. I've realized I'm NOT a jock-type. I'm more of a geeky guy, and though it feels odd to say that, it's true; it's part of why I felt so insecure for a while, yearning for the fantasy of being a muscly-jock. Once I realized that wasn't ME, the body dysmorphia started to get easier and easier to manage. Don't get me wrong. I still compare myself from time to time, which I think is inevitable, but it's loads less severe than it was prior now. I remember that I have a beautiful body that I'm extremely fortunate to have, and I work with what I do have.
Again. Thanks for the love here, everybody.
 

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So, hello! I'm a 21 year old guy, and I'm 6'2 / 188 CM. I currently weigh about 182 pounds / around 83 KG and recently I've found myself struggling with body image, yet again. This is nothing new to me, mind you. While in high school, I was, obviously, still a developing teen, and I had no idea what my body type was. I felt (and still feel) insecure because I was comparing myself to people who had the build for getting really big, AKA the mesomorph body. Seeing that specific body get celebrated so frequently got to me, and as an ectomorph with long arms and legs,I felt very insecure.

Now, since January of this year, I've gone on another gym journey, this time focusing on getting stronger, and thus, bigger. I'm definitely stronger, and I see my muscles everywhere developing. Yet, I still compare myself to the huge mesomorphs I see online, and yearn for that. I created an illusion of what my body looks like, and trying to convince myself that I have the body type I simply don't have. I get scared to eat less than I do, because the thought of loosing the size i've amassed for myself is quite discomfortable. Especially because just last year, I suffered from an eating disorder that made myself hover around the 138 pound / 63 KG mark. With labels in the gay community like "twink", I have fear of becoming that again in other people's eyes, even when I know that's not even who I am. I know I'm much, much, much more than a simple label or what my body looks like; I know I'm an individual worth more than simply physical appearance.

Despite my difficulties, past and very recent, I'm taking action towards this. I am changing my diet to not gorge myself with food / force myself to eat when I'm full, but rather eating how and when I feel comfortable. I'm continuing my strength training, and I'm excited to keep getting stronger and to hopefully get leaner, as I have some belly fat from all the food I've been consuming. But I still, like today, feel body dysmorphia, and I feel like it may be something that I deal with for a long time, but that it can be something I can manage and control better. I'm heavily attracted to the mesomorph body type, and because of that, I wanted to BECOME that so that I feel self-love.

But I'm realizing that I need to love my body more for what MY body is, not what HIS body is, or how I want my body to look like HIS. It's a painful pill to swallow, though.

I'm hoping that this can reach someone, anyone. Please let me know if you're a tall guy with long limbs, if you feel what I'm speaking on. And wish me luck, because though I know I can do this, I also know it's gonna be a hard road to go down, managing my body dysmorphia. And if you have any advice or experience with this, feel free to share. Please.
It sounds like you are on the right path. Good job and keep at it. You can do it. Exercise, eat healthy, and learn to be happy with the body you have. Currently I'm 6'5" and 174 lbs. In my early 20's I hit my peak weight at a muscular but thin 185 lbs; I was eating 3000 calories a day and working out several hours a day. Then in my 30's and 40's I mostly sat at a desk and traveled alot so ate out, I lost muscle and gained love handles and stayed around 180 lbs. When I went back to eating healthy (low carb) and excercising I lost 15 lbs quickly dropping down to 165 lbs. Then I added in more strengh training and got up to my current 174lbs. It is just the way I'm built. I burn fat and muscle easily and add muscle slowly. I've learned to accept how I am. You'll be happier if you can do the same. Best of luck.
 

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I think all of us see someone here and there and think to ourselves "I wish I looked like and was built like him." Very normal to be honest. My views short story is be happy with who you are. Be confident in who you are. If you are body dysmorphic as you say, that is the first thing you should address. Your profile is only available for whoever, not for general all members so couldn't take a look. I have a thing for tall, thin, lanky and not overly nerdy, but nerdy guys as well. It's a body type I find very attractive.