Body Issues

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

I think you're beautiful. Inner beautiful far out weighs whatever is on the outside. :hug:

:redface: :hug:

 

[HiddenLacey]

:redface: :hug:

No, I should be:redface: My typos are ridiculous!! Inner beautY...

 

[wallyj84]

If those are your true feelings then so be it. Far be it from me to judge you any further, even though you will no doubt continue to judge everyone else. I guess I can't help but wonder what will happen when the standards of beauty change? They inevitably will, as history dictates thus. Will you still see your efforts to beautify yourself as successful, or will you suddenly become ugly in your own eyes again? And just to take it a step further, what happens when you are old, wrinkled, toothless and unattractive? Will you want your loved ones to be forgiving of your aging process or should they seek out someone younger and more beautiful to love? You might deem me as naive, but I'm wiser than I let on.

If the changes I made to my body through plastic surgery ever become outdated within my lifetime, I will be shocked. That would be a social change far beyond anything ever seen in the history of mankind.

Please don't be confused, I am still very ugly. I don't have enough money to get get the various plastic surgeries required to make me attractive. So I'm still ugly, but the chances of me becoming any uglier than I a now are quite low.

Finally, there's always a lot of talk about standards of beauty and how they change overtime and although there is some truth to this, these changes are nowhere near as drastic as some seem to believe. It's not like celebrities from fifty years ago are considered elephantmen by modern standards. Sure there are differences in hairstyle and some minor differences in preferred body types, but in general a beautiful person will be considered beautiful in the past will still be considered beautiful today.

You see, I've been young and beautiful. Long dark hair, warm amber eyes, breasts to die for, curves in all the right places....I've been there. Unfortunately, I've been to other places in life that took a toll on my body, mind and spirit. I'm damaged and I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm also not afraid to admit that I am among the least desirables in society when it comes to my obesity. I still have the hair, eyes and rack, but that really doesn't matter at this point. Fortunately for me, I have other qualities that more than make up for my lack of youthful charm. I am skilled, intelligent, passionate, creative, loving, loyal, nurturing....the list goes on. I am the opposite of you. I actually live a better life because I refuse to bow to societal "truths", not worse. Do I struggle? Yes, but who doesn't? When I look around me I see three things: My strong and incredibly patient husband of 14+ years, my insightful and wonderful son and the life we continue to build together every day. It's not perfect, we're not perfect, but we're together. Our youthful glow has already started to fade, but what appears in it's place are the wrinkles, crags and scars of experience and age....the indelible evidence that we have truly lived and are still alive. How do you picture your future, Wally?

I don't know anything about you or your husband, so I won't comment on your marriage.

I will say this, a woman who is obese, could theoretically drastically improve her status, moving from low status to medium or maybe even high status, by losing weight. If she were to move up a rung on the status ladder, then she would be able to attain a higher level lover/husband as well. Effectively exchanging her inferior, "imperfect" lover for a superior close to perfect lover.

Can you see now why improving your status, by changing your looks, is important? If you better your status you increase your ability to get a high status mate. Why stick with someone inferior, when with a little bit of work you can get someone better?

While there are some aspects of my life that are not as I pictured, I do have the things that mean the most to me. Without what I have already, nothing else would matter. So am I blind? No. If anything, loss of beauty has opened my eyes. I can't live by someone else's standard, it's not in me to do so. I have to be true to myself, which means defining myself on my own terms. This is as far from being blinded by reality as you can get. I will surely be disappointed in the future, but that's par for the course. I accepted long ago that life is going to push me to the limitations of my humanity. I also accepted that I would do it on my terms, though. I wish you luck with your reality, Wally. May it cushion you for as long as it can.

But if you lived by the standards created by society, you would be able to get a superior lover and lead a happier life. How can that be wrong? Why are you so afraid to accept what society has been telling you your whole life?

 

[wallyj84]

I think you're beautiful. Inner beautiful far out weighs whatever is on the outside. :hug:

In an episode of the Care Bears, maybe. But in reality outside beauty trumps inner beauty every time.

Now, that's not to say that physical beauty beats everything. Many things trump beauty. For example, money, power and fame all beat beauty when comes to determining one's status. In fact, depending on the person, race can trump beauty as well.

The important thing to remember is that inner beauty is of minor importance when determining a person's status. Now, that's not to say that it has no role, but it's role is extremely small when compared to real beauty.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Why can't gags work on fingers as well as mouths?

 

[wallyj84]

Why can't gags work on fingers as well as mouths?

If you have any constructive thoughts or criticisms I'm more than willing to listen to them.

 

[B_subgirrl]

If you have any constructive thoughts or criticisms I'm more than willing to listen to them.

I should have specified that I was talking about ME needing a finger-gag because I struggle to phrase things politely when I feel this annoyed.

I do feel though Wally, that the way people respond to you (you specifically, not you generally) in the real world are unlikely to be in response to your looks. If you have the same persona in the real world as you do on this site, the responses you get are probably in response to your negative attitude. Most people don't like to be around people who put others down or see everything negatively. If you revise your view of the world, you may find that people respond more positively to you.

 

[Endued]

I'd love to know more about these universal statuses based on looks. I had no idea such a system existed.

 

[Enid]

There are universal standards for looks?

:scratchchin:

 

[BBWBCL]

With the exception of small boobs I also have scars, stretch marks, rolls and cellulite and yet I still get compliments. I've recently taken a naked torso pic of myself but I'm still a bit too chicken to post it.
I had a look at your pics and damn girl you are so cute! You should show your pretty self off. ;-)

 

[BBWBCL]

Not everyone is beautiful. Some people are ugly. Now, these ugly people are still human beings and deserve a certain amount of respect, but they should also respect others and not put their ugliness on display for the world to see.

Is this why you haven't posted any pics of yourself?

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

If the changes I made to my body through plastic surgery ever become outdated within my lifetime, I will be shocked. That would be a social change far beyond anything ever seen in the history of mankind.

Please don't be confused, I am still very ugly. I don't have enough money to get get the various plastic surgeries required to make me attractive. So I'm still ugly, but the chances of me becoming any uglier than I a now are quite low.

Finally, there's always a lot of talk about standards of beauty and how they change overtime and although there is some truth to this, these changes are nowhere near as drastic as some seem to believe. It's not like celebrities from fifty years ago are considered elephantmen by modern standards. Sure there are differences in hairstyle and some minor differences in preferred body types, but in general a beautiful person will be considered beautiful in the past will still be considered beautiful today.


I don't know anything about you or your husband, so I won't comment on your marriage.

I will say this, a woman who is obese, could theoretically drastically improve her status, moving from low status to medium or maybe even high status, by losing weight. If she were to move up a rung on the status ladder, then she would be able to attain a higher level lover/husband as well. Effectively exchanging her inferior, "imperfect" lover for a superior close to perfect lover.

Can you see now why improving your status, by changing your looks, is important? If you better your status you increase your ability to get a high status mate. Why stick with someone inferior, when with a little bit of work you can get someone better?


But if you lived by the standards created by society, you would be able to get a superior lover and lead a happier life. How can that be wrong? Why are you so afraid to accept what society has been telling you your whole life?

Wally....where do I start? I have a few thoughts on this, but I'll try to keep it brief as it seems our little discussion has hijacked DL's thread. A few bullet points, if you will:

-I'm sorry you think of yourself as so ugly. I wouldn't judge you even if I could, but all the plastic surgery in the world isn't going to help you have a good life. Do you have a partner? Children? How do your friends and family feel about your negative self-image? And do you project these ideals onto them?

-50 years ago the standards of beauty were much different. While you won't see an ugly photo of Marilyn Monroe ever, she was a size 12. By today's standard she would be considered grossly overweight in Hollywood and most likely would take a media bashing for it. Modern standards of beauty are very much media and Photoshop driven so I am very positive that in 2010 Marilyn Monroe would have been told by every media outlet she was too fat.

-While you didn't comment directly on my marriage, you insinuated that I have a husband of low status who is an inferior. Nobody is perfect, that's for sure, but I my husband is not inferior. While my husband is a very attractive man, I didn't marry him for outer appearances. I married him for the man he is, which is honest, loyal, caring, and strong, which I deem to be "high" status qualities. We've been to hell and back a few times and it was those qualities that helped pull us through. You just don't get it, Wally. When beauty fades you have to have something to fall back on. Nobody is young and beautiful forever, time happens to everyone. It's not a question of whether we will lose our youth, the question is what will we have left when it's gone. What will you have?

-Last but not least, my obesity. I was not always obese, I've said this. I lead a very active lifestyle until I experienced a trauma that turned my world upside down. I won't talk about what that trauma was because it doesn't matter. Trauma is trauma and it had a profound effect on my health. Aside from that trauma, I have health problems that went misdiagnosed for years due to negligent medical professionals. These missed diagnoses took a toll on my body and rendered me disabled. I had to stop working, my social life went down the tubes...it's been very difficult to say the least. I only received the proper diagnoses in the past 6 months, one in January and one within the past month. With the proper treatment I am slowly reclaiming my health and will continue to do so. In your eyes, I am of low status because of my obesity and you know what? I really don't care. I don't validate myself based on how I compare to others. I validate myself by how I live, not how I look doing it.

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

In fact, depending on the person, race can trump beauty as well.

Please enlighten us, I can't wait to hear this.

opcorn:

 

[wallyj84]

Wally....where do I start? I have a few thoughts on this, but I'll try to keep it brief as it seems our little discussion has hijacked DL's thread. A few bullet points, if you will:

-I'm sorry you think of yourself as so ugly. I wouldn't judge you even if I could, but all the plastic surgery in the world isn't going to help you have a good life. Do you have a partner? Children? How do your friends and family feel about your negative self-image? And do you project these ideals onto them?

I don't have kids or a partner. I am currently in search of a partner, but have had little success because I'm a low status individual. If my status was higher, I would be more successful.

My friends do not like my negativity, they say that I hate myself. That might be true, but I feel honesty is important. I am a low status individual and I must acknowledge that if I'm ever to a whole person.

-50 years ago the standards of beauty were much different. While you won't see an ugly photo of Marilyn Monroe ever, she was a size 12. By today's standard she would be considered grossly overweight in Hollywood and most likely would take a media bashing for it. Modern standards of beauty are very much media and Photoshop driven so I am very positive that in 2010 Marilyn Monroe would have been told by every media outlet she was too fat.

That's not true.

-While you didn't comment directly on my marriage, you insinuated that I have a husband of low status who is an inferior. Nobody is perfect, that's for sure, but I my husband is not inferior. While my husband is a very attractive man, I didn't marry him for outer appearances. I married him for the man he is, which is honest, loyal, caring, and strong, which I deem to be "high" status qualities. We've been to hell and back a few times and it was those qualities that helped pull us through. You just don't get it, Wally. When beauty fades you have to have something to fall back on. Nobody is young and beautiful forever, time happens to everyone. It's not a question of whether we will lose our youth, the question is what will we have left when it's gone. What will you have?

There's more to status than just looks. There's also wealth. Personality as well plays a role in the status equation.

Once again, I don't know anything about your relationship with your husband, so I will not comment on it.

-Last but not least, my obesity. I was not always obese, I've said this. I lead a very active lifestyle until I experienced a trauma that turned my world upside down. I won't talk about what that trauma was because it doesn't matter. Trauma is trauma and it had a profound effect on my health. Aside from that trauma, I have health problems that went misdiagnosed for years due to negligent medical professionals. These missed diagnoses took a toll on my body and rendered me disabled. I had to stop working, my social life went down the tubes...it's been very difficult to say the least. I only received the proper diagnoses in the past 6 months, one in January and one within the past month. With the proper treatment I am slowly reclaiming my health and will continue to do so. In your eyes, I am of low status because of my obesity and you know what? I really don't care. I don't validate myself based on how I compare to others. I validate myself by how I live, not how I look doing it.

I'm sorry for your predicament. I think everyone deals with being low status differently. Being a low status individual can be a very traumatic experience, especially in your case when you've fallen from a higher status to a lower status. I don't agree with your method for coping with low status, but I recognize that it's your method and hope that it works for you.

Even though you don't think that status exists, I hope you can reclaim your lost status soon.

Please enlighten us, I can't wait to hear this.

opcorn:

In some places, and to some people, certain races are of higher status than other races. I assume no one here is so naive to think that kind racism doesn't exist. It's a sad fact the world.

Is this why you haven't posted any pics of yourself?

Of course. I'm a very ugly person, I should not be seen on the internet.

There are universal standards for looks?

:scratchchin:

Yes, there are. They aren't specific, but there are nearly universal guidelines for what is attractive and what is not.

This link will tell you more.

I'd love to know more about these universal statuses based on looks. I had no idea such a system existed.

I've been thinking of formally writing my theories down. I will do that soon, I think.

 

[Endued]

I am sorry you think some of the things you think because a lot of it isn't true at all, but in all seriousness, the excessively low sense of self-worth you're displaying is a pretty common symptom of depression. I'd arrange an appointment with your doctor, talk things through.

 

[wallyj84]

I am sorry you think some of the things you think because a lot of it isn't true at all, but in all seriousness, the excessively low sense of self-worth you're displaying is a pretty common symptom of depression. I'd arrange an appointment with your doctor, talk things through.

If this is depression, then I've been depressed since I was 10 years old.

 

[Endued]

That isn't impossible!

If it isn't depression then it isn't depression, but if it is, then going to a doctor will do wonders.

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

Wally, you project so much self-hatred and it's insane.

I am currently in search of a partner, but have had little success because I'm a low status individual.

Is this what women say when they don't want to go out with you, or is this another one of your assumptions?

There's more to status than just looks. There's also wealth. Personality as well plays a role in the status equation.

I spoke well of my husband's personality and looks. We are contentedly working class. Our status is just fine, thank you.

I'm sorry for your predicament. I think everyone deals with being low status differently. Being a low status individual can be a very traumatic experience, especially in your case when you've fallen from a higher status to a lower status. I don't agree with your method for coping with low status, but I recognize that it's your method and hope that it works for you.

Even though you don't think that status exists, I hope you can reclaim your lost status soon.

Low blows are a cheap and false means of escalating your own status and self-esteem. All it does is demonstrate an inability to communicate intelligently.

In some places, and to some people, certain races are of higher status than other races. I assume no one here is so naive to think that kind racism doesn't exist. It's a sad fact the world.

Yes, in some places, and to some people. This applies across the board, but until now your answers have been largely polarizing. It's nice to see you finally acknowledge some gray area.

Of course. I'm a very ugly person, I should not be seen on the internet.

*headdesk*

Yes, there are. They aren't specific, but there are nearly universal guidelines for what is attractive and what is not.

This link will tell you more.

Surely you aren't relying on the article of one magazine to support your opinion? My only response to this is that the beauty and status are not always blessings.

 

[diamond]

I think every woman has body issues, I know for myself when I posted my body shots some of the LPSG members said that I was fat. I could have let that get to me, but I didn't I am happy in my skin, I am certainly not the skinniest bitch on the block but I think my body is pretty nice given that I am going to be 39 this fall.
I am 5 10 around the 168 pound mark, so for anyone to say I am fat that is just one opinion.
My advice is to just post pictures of what makes you feel comfortable regardless if they are nude or not. Men are men, and each one will wank to something different!!!

 

[wallyj84]

Wally, you project so much self-hatred and it's insane.



Is this what women say when they don't want to go out with you, or is this another one of your assumptions?

I have a friend who says I'm a "low" person, so I think I'm pretty accurate.

I spoke well of my husband's personality and looks. We are contentedly working class. Our status is just fine, thank you.



Low blows are a cheap and false means of escalating your own status and self-esteem. All it does is demonstrate an inability to communicate intelligently.

It was not a low blow. I'm sorry you saw it like that.

Surely you aren't relying on the article of one magazine to support your opinion? My only response to this is that the beauty and status are not always blessings.

Your link doesn't disprove my point.