Bodyshy Men: Why?

[Motion-of-the-Ocean]

Growing up I was exposed to very little nudity and thus one's body was a private thing no matter the gender of others. Other than a time that I can't mention due to the rules, my first exposure to same-sex nudity was in Basic Training. Not being used to such a situation, it was awkward and I did what needed to be done hygiene-wise as quickly as possible and trying to draw the least amount of attention.

While I gradually become less uncomfortable with the concept due to repeated exposures, I still never developed an indifference to it. Part of the issue I believe is the fact that due to low exposure to casual nudity I also viewed it mostly through the lens of sex especially considering that other than institutional situations like the military, the only other experiences with being naked in a group setting has been through swinging. This further cemented my association of nudity with sex and even then I still felt some discomfort being on full display in front of others, especially at some of clubs where many attendees where of the clothed "looky-loo" variety.

Because of these feelings I've never been much of an exhibitionist and the addition of a sometimes feeling of minor body dysmorphia, especially about weight, has likely contributed to it. In fact posting solo pictures here has been one of the biggest steps in recent times I've taken in an attempt to overcome it. So I think for some guys that might have a lot to do with it as sometimes we forgot or don't acknowledge that men can feel the same shyness about their bodies due to feelings of inadequacy made possible by media and societal standards. Also for me, I've always been introverted and tried to stand out as little as possible, so my bodily feelings are likely an extension of that.

There is also of course the fact some may not be comfortable being naked around other guys due to not knowing the intentions of those other men and if one was to apply the endless locker room and urinal stories on certain websites to real life, such concerns might only be heightened or add justification.

 

[malakos]

Always wondered why some dudes are so uncomfortable with getting naked around other guys. Just wondering if someone can explain that, because it seems so weird to me

It's primarily just a matter of having a sense of my body being private to me (to varying extents, depending on which part), and so I experience an aversive reaction to my body being on display for others. But secondarily there is a dispositional factor of how comfortable I am with the person(s) I'm getting naked in front of. I'll surely be uncomfortable if it's in front of strangers, given I have no rapport with them.

 

[JayPR]

If we are talking of individual cases, there are tons of reasons. Each person comes with a story on why they feel uncomfortable while being naked in front of others. In my cousin's case, my aunt was very prude and she was afraid of pervs so she raised her sons telling them not to be undressed in front of strangers. They grew up terrified of being naked, even at the doctor's office. One of them wanted to go to the Navy but didn't because of communal showers.

But if we talk about why nowadays it seems that most men are less comfortable with being naked around other men, there has been a change in attitude towards that in the last 20 years in my experience. I would like to know why society's expectations about social nudity and privacy have changed, at least in North America.

 

[18wheeler]

Having a small penis makes it’s very difficult for me.

 

[jumbo747jet]

I also believe it's a maturity thing. While I was never worried about getting changed or showering with others, I was a lot more judgemental towards myself when I was younger. Although, looking back, I think I had the best body shape I've ever had, yet I had still to mature enough to be less judgemental towards myself. Today, having reached 50+ and being in far less great physical shape, I am far more comfortable and just do not care what others may or may not think of my shape.

 

[goldscorpguy]

I have travelled a bit over the years and often see how different societies view nakedness. Here in the UK we tend to be quite prudish about it. My gym locker room has signs everywhere about covering up, especially in saunas and steam rooms. Mainland Western Europe tends, in general, to be much more laid back about it. Personally, I like being naked and being in the presence of like-minded people. It gives me a sense of freedom and awareness.

 

[new2day]

In my experience, we are definitely going backwards when it comes to non-sexual nudity. Twenty years ago, nearly all the gyms/sport clubs I attended had open gang style showers. There was never any fuss, people stripped off and often walked naked to showers, hung up their towels and showered with friends/teammates without batting an eye. Go further back, and the team baths were common for rugby and football.

These days it's all shower cubicles, and that shyness extends to the changing room itself and life in general. Porn used to be something you stumbled upon, now its everywhere, and easy to access. Teens grow up with a feeling of inadequacy, sex education in schools is down to the minimum. Nobody sees normal average bodies anymore.

 

[jtheimpaler]

Mostly stems in my opinion as to firstly how an individual has been raised and secondly the rise of social media and idealised body image

 

[Hakan1]

Nobody sees normal average bodies anymore.

very true

 

[chrisrobin]

Mostly stems in my opinion as to firstly how an individual has been raised and secondly the rise of social media and idealised body image

Growing up I did my share of skinny dipping and so was used to seeing naked bodies. Once I hit puberty it wants a thing and my early skinny dipping experiences stood me in good stead when I went to an all male swimming group ranging from 18, me to 80. Not only was it a good experience seeing naked bodies of various ages but sexually it taught me not to choose partners according to age - and some of the older guys I went with were very active.

 

[oook]

I was very shy and I used to ask the opposite: why is it ok to be naked around other people? When I was a kid I learned that my body is private and we don't just show it to anyone. It's also embarrassing to be seen naked. So I just didn't get it why in the male toilets there are urinals and in the locker room it is ok to be naked with other guys. I was told that every guy has the same thing so no one would pay attention to my body. But the idea that some guys (friends or strangers) could see me naked just made me very shy and nervous. I think that has something to do with upbringing, school, and culture though.

 

[englad]

I think one of the biggest problems is that when you have a culture where it isn't common to be naked in non-sexual situations, that the main point of reference that many men have of what a male body "should" look like, is on underwear/swimwear adverts, locker rooms and in porn. In those sort of environments, you tend to see very fit and athletic bodies. Additionally, gay bars, magazines and pornography will often place similar body types on a pedestal. Those sorts of bodies are very difficult to achieve for many.

To be honest, I'm surprised at how little culture has been referenced in this thread. I've definitely seen quite a big difference between Germany and the UK on this one, I'm from the latter and live in the former. Non-sexual nudity is certainly more common here (the UK tends to be more reserved on this front, but probably still more relaxed than other countries), saunas are popular here and there are parts of parks that are FKK (Freie Körper Kultur - free body culture, literally) friendly as well. If you go out to the east, there's even more of a nudist tradition, because it was one of the only freedoms they had during the GDR dictatorship.