Borderline Personality Disorder

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by funguy3, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. funguy3

    funguy3 Member

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    Does anyone on here have experience with this? My boyfriend and I are finally realizing that a lot of the issues we've been dealing with this past year might be because he could have BPD. He's going to talk to a doctor early this week, but this weekend of discussions, fights and "conflicts" has been hard on us both.

    Any help, suggestions or experiences would be appreciated! thanks so much :)
     
  2. D_Steve_Sphincter

    D_Steve_Sphincter New Member

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    Might part of the problem be that you're only 20% into him?
     
  3. MickeyLee

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    i would imagine the issues you are two are having are independent of his possible BPD. not saying you both won't have to deal with his BPD if you continue with the relationship. is just that shifting all responsibility for issues onto his illness is not fair, and ain't good for either of you.

    my wooden 2cents.
    and all it's worth
     
  4. funguy3

    funguy3 Member

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    Mickey, you make a good point. I've actually brought that up to him, as I have problems of my own I bring to the relationship, and I've accepted and identified them to him. But a lot of the problems on his end we've just 'accepted' or associated with other illnesses, but this might actually be the root cause of many of them.
     
  5. MickeyLee

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    ain't clarity terrifying and empowering all at once?

    the lines are hard to stake out what is the cause of what, and quirks that might escalate a situation is hard enough in close relationship. BPD makes is like adding a dark room, false bottom and trick walls.

    do ya know what type of therapy he's starting? CBH, meds or a combo?
     
  6. jerryhall

    jerryhall New Member

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    How did you discover that he might have BPD, and get him to talk to his doctor about. Most people would be in denial if the other person in the relationship said "I think you have BPD".

    I'm curious, because I might be in a relationship with someone with some kind of depression or BPD but he doesn't admit that he may have a problem.
     
  7. funguy3

    funguy3 Member

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    he's been having really terrible mood swings lately, and we get in fights over nothing, where he has overreacted to something [i consider and he later considers] absurd. He's been medicated for depression since before christmas, but he sent me this (Emotionally Unstable (Borderline) Personality Disorder) earlier this week. The more research he does on it, the more the symptoms line up with issues and personality traits he's been fighting for years.

    I didn't confront him, he brought it to me, worried about what he was doing to our relationship.
     
  8. theflyingh

    theflyingh New Member

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    Borderline Personality is a diagnosis best made by a qualified Psychiatrist. It certainly is characterised by dramatic over-reaction to stress (including to events that others would not find stressful) and a push-pull interaction in relationships. People with BPD often have a poor coping style and tend to catastrophise situations. BPD is associated with childhood sexual abuse or trauma. Deliberate self harm/cutting to relieve emotional pain is also associated with BPD.

    In the absence of co-existing depression or other mental illness BPD is not in the strictest sense a mental illness and therefore not generally responsive to medications nor is there good evidence for pharmacotherapy. Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (a form of psychotherapy) has been shown to benefit patients with BPD and works well but requires commitment from the patient to participate with a skilled psychotherapist over a period of time. At home, acknowledgement of stress and validation of emotional state also helps.

    Dealing with someone with BPD can be very challenging from a clinical point of view, so I can see how it could also severely affect a relationship.

    The important thing is for him to undergo Psychiatric assessment to determine diagnosis as other mental health problems can also present with emotional lability.

    Hope this helped. Good luck.
     
    #8 theflyingh, Jul 4, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2011
  9. michael_3165

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    I diagnosis of BPD is a very severe one which once you get it doesnt go away. Best bet is to get every physical investigation out of the way first before even considering something that extreme. I know that first hand that it's not easy to get that diagnosis and near impossible to lose it.
     
  10. cougarm4m

    cougarm4m New Member

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    OMG! theflyingh must know my (ex)boyfriend. What he wrote so perfectly describes him and what was happening in our relationship. The stress was virtually constant and unbearable. The push-pull interaction and over-reaction to small, insignificant or non-existant issues kept me off-balance throughout our 2 year relationship. I love him deeply, and, sadly, after two passes at counseling, both couples and individual counseling, I had to let him go after his 7th major meltdown and move-out. I know now that he cannot feel, think or behave any differently without the help of a psychotherapist. I'm not a professional counselor, but, if you stay together, you are in for the ride of your life, what I described to him as an emotional roller coaster. I empathize with you completely, and hope you find some peace and contentment one way or the other.
     
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