Born gay or became gay?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. BIGdkluver

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    Can a person really be "born" gay or does he become gay later on in life?

    This might be a question that has been debated for years--like nature vs. nurture or the chicken or the egg coming first.

    And if a person "becomes" gay later on, what causes him or her to change?

    In my case, I became fully gay around the age of 14. Before then, I had several girl friends and the usual cases of "puppy love" for pretty girls.

    At age 14, however, I realized that I was much more interested in my male buddies and especially in the equipment they had between their legs
    (thanks to my all-male gym classes and attending an my all-male high school).

    So, what do you think? I'd especially like to hear from gay males who classify themselves as mostly gay or all-gay now.

    As always, thanks! :smile:
     
  2. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Sorry, maybe I get this wrong, but I read a lot here, and it looks like most gay men only are gay because they like the equipment... Isn't that weird...
    I like girls of their looks, but for me is it the person itself...
    Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everyone thinks that! No mean thoughts here! :smile:
     
    #2 D_Jared Padalicki, Jan 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2009
  3. B_1youngboy

    B_1youngboy New Member

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    There is nothing natural about being gay, has to be nurture, events can change us at any stage in life, we become things we weren't even thinking about six months ago.
     
  4. thicnjucy10

    thicnjucy10 New Member

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    I'm bi so I can't say for sure. I like to think it's a choice, but recently I've been on the fence about the issue
     
  5. Rocky14441

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    If you look into the Gay Recovery Movements, Same Sex Attraction is caused by your dad not throwing the ball with you when you were a kid, or your fear of other boy's physicality, or a mom that was too clingy.
    Frued thought that is was a weak father and a strong mother, reflected in an inability grow past late childhood.
    Most of the literature out there on it now is split on nature vs. nurture, with a lot of disagreement about how we got the way we are.
    One thing is for sure: every culture back to the cave men has included same-sex love. Every single one.
    For me, it isn't about cocks, or sex, or fear of women. I dated and made love to women, and enjoyed it. Tehe fact is, I LOVE MEN. They are the only thing that really tugs at my heart, truly stiffens my cock, fascinates me beyond belief. It's deep-down, and women just never did that for me.
    My last sexual encounter with a woman was this summer: she's a good friend, I care about her, and she had never had sex with a man. I was really surpris, so we made love a few times. I was amazed at how much fun it was, and at the same time how it was missing the key ingrediant for me: deep, heartfelt passion.
    I think god made us this way to shake up the world a bit. It needs shaking, don't you think?
     
  6. B_1youngboy

    B_1youngboy New Member

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    I think it's just your brain causing you to only love men.
     
  7. Industrialsize

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    May I politely say you are wrong about this.......I'm gay and it has MORE to do with than Just sex.....
     
  8. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Yes of course you can say that.
    But lately a lot of threads are more about the cock then the person...
    You have to admit that :rolleyes:
     
  9. Rocky14441

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    Well, I don't just love men. My best friend is a woman, I love her as much as I love anyone else on the planet. Sometimes I even feel a mild sexual attraction towards her.
    As for what my brain is telling me...yeah, that's where all our attraction parameters are stored. (Read: A General Theory of Love, an amazing book on how the need and fulfilment of love is created in our brains).

    But the fact is that I've allowed myself every opportunity to love and be loved by both men and women, and something deep within, ever since I can remember, responds only to the male body and the male spirit.

    I consider it a gift to know this part of myself as well as I do, but its been a long, hard road to get here. It is amazing to be living in a society where we can have this conversation. That being said, what in God's name makes you think anyone, in the past twenty thousand years of institutionalised persecution, would think that being gay was a good life choice?

    One of the things I love about being gay (beside the men) is that it has given me countless oppotunities to stand up for myself and my belief that the Universe has made me, and generations of Gay men and Lesbians in every society in history, because we belong. We are perfect the way we are, and the world would be a sorrier place without us.

    No joke.
     
  10. Xcuze

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    I think youll find that your notions are somewhat simplistic. There are many factors in determining sexuality. Many gay men have straight siblings who were raised in exactly the same way & exposed to the same things. But they still turned out sexually different. Even twins can have different preferences.

    If u wanna believe that nature is all about procreation between men & women then I would argue this; the world is already overpopulated so it is not necessary for all humans to reproduce. So u could argue that diverse sexuality is natures way of regulating populations.

    Who cares either way? This argument goes nowhere. We're here, we're queer...STFU & show us your cock! :cool:
     
  11. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    And what's not "natural" about it?
    You're talking about something that has existed in the animal species far before humans were even born. Being gay or being straight isn't something you just turn on or off with a biological switch. Regardless of who you decide to have sex with (male or female), your urges & attractions to a human being are a completely different thing that are already defined before one even becomes sexually aware.

    Oh, come on now. You can't seriously think that's the only reason! :biggrin1:

    LPSG isn't the definitive source for everything and anything gay. Watching a gay man in the pursuit of dick is no different than watching a straight man in the pursuit of pussy, booty or boobs. Some people are in it just for the sex. Messageboards and/or forums tend to be more predatorial so physical appearance is focused on more than someone's inner beauty. Others are actually seeking potential life partners or spouses. Even the one looking for a booty call may be looking for that as well, but for the time being they just want a boyfriend or girlfriend for 2 hours.
     
  12. sixlittleboi

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    I had girlfriend in elementary and middle school, but honestly it was because I thought I was supposed to. I had an older brother that was the quarterback from middle school all the way through senior high. He had girlfriends and was pretty popular. So I figured that was normal. But for as long as I remember I have always been attracted to guys. For my part I know that it wasn't a choice. It took me a long time to accept it.
     
  13. Silvertip

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    That's exactly the way I feel, but swapping the genders. And you put it better and more succinctly than I have ever been able to. Sex with guys is missing that key ingredient for me, yet I am always amazed at how much fun it is. And, yes, I agree that the human world always needs a good shaking up.

    Getting back to the original post, the nature/nurture debate has been going on forever and no doubt will never end. Too many variables, too much individuality and not enough omniscience on the part of man to ever answer it definitively. I honestly believe that some people are born so genetically predisposed to their gayness or straightness that it would be highly unlikely that they could ever change. I also believe that, through one's life experiences, many of us could easily start out straight and eventually turn gay or vice versa. The one thing that is inarguable, at least in my humble opinion, is that what we humans end up doing with our sexual equipment (be that penis or vagina) is always a matter of choice.
     
  14. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    Well Pieter, this is a site for people that like BIG cock, but what I, as a gay man find odd is that so many guys here are str8, but say they love looking at other guys cocks. That is just weird to ME !!!!
    Anyway, for the oher nay-sayers here, I dont believe your "nuture" makes you gay. My brother and I were brought up excatly the same way, yet he is a devout Hetero, and I am a cock-sucking gay man. You are pre-disposed at birth for your sexuality, and of course, over time it develops.
    And to 1Youngboy here who says theres nothing natural about being gay, dude, YOU are here looking at cock and enjoying it. Bud, you are more than 1% GAY yourself, so get over it and grow up.
     
  15. larocca

    larocca New Member

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    I've been wondering lately a lot exactly at what point in my life did everything change---because when I was young, I was all about women. I was so excited to come back home after school and spend some time just jerking off and enjoying the usual straight porn...... the suddenly, out of nowhere, something that seemed more exciting came along and I got hooked (that being guys) and as much as I tried (and trust me, I've tried A LOT) I couldn't not be what I had become.

    The constant struggle inside of me concerning my sexuality might just be the main reason why I never got laid.

    So I have no idea if I was actually born gay or not. When I was 11-12 I couldn't wait to have my first sexual experience. It occupied my thoughts constantly and maybe that need for something more turned me gay....... or at the very end, maybe I was meant to become gay (or bi) already when I was born. I really don't know.
     
  16. Rocky14441

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    Touche'!
     
  17. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

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    Ooooohhh, this is going to trn into a big pissing match in a hurry ! I know I'm going to get flamed for my comments, but I'm going to make them anyway. I was raised in a fairly happy middle class home. I spent time with dad working on old cars and such, and with mom, shopping and cooking. We became even closer after I came out. That being said, I believe that gay men are genetically predisposed before birth.
    I have a few "bisexual" friends, and while I enjoy our friendship, they really are "queens in waiting". Its a matter of having thier cake and eating it too, and nothing more. They try so hard to keep up appearances, getting married,having kids, etc... and then fuck the hell out of each other in private. I completely expect both to kick open the closet door in the next year or so ( three of us have been friends for more than 20 years )I decided years ago not to subject anyone else to my conflict( getting married and having children ) and had no reason to keep up appearances as a straight man , so I was completely honest with my family and friends and told them I was gay.
    My feeling on the matter is, you either like men, or you like women. You don't just wake up in the morning and decide " do I want pussy today, or do I want cock ?" If you are "straight" and you like cock, I'm sorry... chances are you're deeply in denial. Let the flaming begin !!!:firedevil:
     
  18. barkerfan

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    I truely believe that I was born gay. I have been attracted to men one way or another ( obviously, not always sexually.) for as long as I can remember. I can remember being 5 yrs old, in nursery school and feeling drawn to my teachers boyfriend while I waited for my parents to come pick me up. Again, it wasn't sexual but there was a interest in one form or another.
     
  19. Rocky14441

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    So, before the flame gets too hot....

    Go to Wikipedia: Biology and Sexual Orientation.

    Totally confusing, tons of contradictory studies, but the one thing i got from it: Being gay is freakin' hardwired, and trying to change it is like trying to wish your pc into being a Mac... It jus' aint gonna happen!

    I'm so grateful I figured it out, and that my college girlfirend said "no" to my proposal of marriage...I was saved all that "taking it out on other people."

    So, to all you "Bi boys" who think you have a choice....Flame ON!
     
  20. inman69

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    It's funny how some straight people always have an opinion on knowing if a person is born gay or become gay. For the most part, you're straight and you could never know what it is like to be gay. We all know that for the most part, you're born gay or straight. You can decide on acting on gay thoughts or deny them. Thus some people say fuck it and jump right into accepting themselves as gay and living a gay lifestyle. Others give in to norm and pursue being "straight." They may get married, have kids, etc. They may decide at a later age to come out or be true to themselves. So I don't think that anyone can become gay. Some just decide that they'll change or it will go away, if they have sex with the opposite sex, get married, have kids, find God, whatever! Other people may be straight but want to experiment with the same sex or maybe they just fall in love or act on an attraction to someone of the same sex. Who cares anyway? The world is big enough for both straight and gay. It is all in being open minded, following your heart and accepting people for who they are - straight or gay!
     
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