Bottom/Top

[cklover]

I've never wanted anything up my butt more rigid than a tongue. I love ass and guys who want theirs played with. I also love to suck cock and have enjoyed many long sessions worshipping a bud's dick. I've always loved having a skilled, dedicated cocksucker chowing down on my meat. I consider myself versatile, except about the fucking thing. That whole top/bottom business is relative.

 

[14x8thck]

I am 50/50 love them both! But it takes a GREAT BOTTOM TO MAKE A GREAT TOP ! Someone told me that a long time ago and I truly believe it.

Pretty true!:biggrin1:

 

[DC_DEEP]

Sure it's fair - if both partners are up front about their preferences from the start, and both are OK with it. If that's not OK with one person, that would be a reason to consider whether the other is the best person to partner with.

Perfect answer. Of course, that pretty much applies to any aspect of a relationship.

Funny thing, as I was reading the responses, I saw three of my "four most hated" words/phrases used. I wonder why this topic would bring those out in force?:biggrin1: I wonder if number four will make an appearance?

 

[gjorg]

Perfect answer. Of course, that pretty much applies to any aspect of a relationship.

Funny thing, as I was reading the responses, I saw three of my "four most hated" words/phrases used. I wonder why this topic would bring those out in force?:biggrin1: I wonder if number four will make an appearance?

Hello , lets not keep them secret--ok

 

[Mem]

Anybody is welcome to participate, but probably the gay guys are the only ones who can participate based on experience.

If you label yourself as a "100% top" or "100% bottom", do you think it is fair to your partner if your in a relationship? Shouldn't you both be able to experience the same pleasures?

Sure it's "fair". If you are 100% bottom you need to find a 100% top. If you are opposites you don't want to experience the same pleasures.

I mysef prefer to bottom, but if I see a nice ass, and I am in the mood, I will gladly take advantage of it.

 

[B_Italian1]

I love to be sucked and I just simply adore sucking cock. I'm one of those very hungry cocksuckers who can suck all night and all day long if you let me.

All gay guys do.

 

[frizzle]

I always thought in a gay relationship, most men would take turns in sucking each other other then anally penetrated each other. I guess that's just a myth then.

 

[Balljunkie]

I love topping, but am learning to tolerate bottoming. There is nothing like a tight, bubble butt ready to be fucked.

However, I love sucking dick. I love when a guy's thighs tense up right before he comes.

I find guys that label me a bottom because I give head. That is ridiculous. So if you like sucking dick, you are a bottom?

 

[simcha]

I always thought in a gay relationship, most men would take turns in sucking each other other then anally penetrated each other. I guess that's just a myth then.

Yes, that's a myth. Some gay men aren't into anal sex at all. So, they generally like oral or even frottage.

Also there are gay men who don't like sucking cock, believe it or not. Some gay men really love to get sucked and that's what does "it" for them.

There is so much more to being sexual than these acts though that one doesn't even have to have any orgasm to have satisfying sex. :wink:

 

[frizzle]

What is frottage?

 

[Lucky_Luke]

I don't like having my cock sucked - it doesn't do much for me at all.

And I don't want anyone to suck or jerkoff my cock while fucking me - I'd rather cum 'hands-free' from the fucking.

And I'm 50/50 - top or bottom depending on the person, situation, time of day or whatever.

 

[UtahCock]

What is frottage?

Frottage is rubbing up against each other to acheive sexual stimulation. Dry humping is one form alot of high schoolers enage in. But clearly it can be pleasureable in adult contexts.

Just want to give props to the straight guys checking out this tread. Way to be informed.

 

[UtahCock]

I hate that whole takes a good bottom to be a good top line. Its such bullshit that guys have so often fed to me to try to get me to bottom. Or "you just havent had someone do it right." Thats another one that kills me. The arrogance that YOU'RE going to be the fanatastic lover to make me become a hardcore bottom.

The truth is, as a top, I would LOVE to be able to bottom regularly. I am aware that the orgasm is incredibly intense. But for me, bottoming (even when I can feel comfortable wiht something up my ass) is not often pleasureable. Occassionally, it has been, but more for the psychological intimacy wiht my partner, than the actual physical sensation.

I, however, thorughly enjoy topping. Giving my partner incredible pleasure and being close to him in that way. It feels amazing.

I am also not the biggest fan of oral. I can enjoy giving it to the right cock, but have found most people dont know how to give mine the oral attention it likes. So I woudl just rather not go there than "endure" Someone going down on me.

I think one of the great things about the gaysexual world is that it is incredibly diverse and there are lots of different ways people have of getting off. Some guys just like making out and jerking off together. Thats great.

I have found this more open attitude bleeding into hetersexual relationships. Or maybe I am juststarting to meet more open minded girls. But it is greta when sex about being wiht your partner and not about textbook sex.

 

[B_Italian1]

I love topping, but am learning to tolerate bottoming.

Tolerate? Why do something you don't want to do? That's what I don't get about this whole bottoming routine.

Also there are gay men who don't like sucking cock, believe it or not. Some gay men really love to get sucked and that's what does "it" for them.

That is very hard to believe but I guess it's possible. I thought like 99.9% of gay guys love giving oral. I have a post somewhere on here about a man I know who was doing research on internet hookups and something like 500 gay guys, within a week's time, wanted to "service" him and expected "no reciprocation". (their words)

What is frottage?

I posted before about this. I'd never heard of it until recently when a gay man mentioned it and told me about a website.

FROTTAGE What's Hot About Frot

It's about gay men being equal in relationships and not playing male/female, top/bottom, dominant or submissive roles. It's about bonding, love, no anal, not hooking up and for gay men who don't want to follow stereotypical behavior. It's also as safe as you can get and isn't degrading to either man.

I hate that whole takes a good bottom to be a good top line. Its such bullshit that guys have so often fed to me to try to get me to bottom. Or "you just havent had someone do it right." Thats another one that kills me. The arrogance that YOU'RE going to be the fanatastic lover to make me become a hardcore bottom.

The truth is, as a top, I would LOVE to be able to bottom regularly. I am aware that the orgasm is incredibly intense. But for me, bottoming (even when I can feel comfortable wiht something up my ass) is not often pleasureable. Occassionally, it has been, but more for the psychological intimacy wiht my partner, than the actual physical sensation.

I said much of this in an earlier post and the tops freaked out as usual. You don't want to deprive them of their pleasure, but when you tell them to be a bottom, they're not interested. They are at less risk for disease and anal damage when they're a top.
It's very psychologically damaging what tops do. Many gay men already have problems with love and self esteem, and when you have the tops giving them all these compliments about their bottoming skills they start to believe it.
On a prior post these bottoms were saying things like they are a proud bottoms, willling bottoms, or have been complimented on their bottoming skills. It's an awful way to think on oneself.

 

[2322]

Tolerate? Why do something you don't want to do? That's what I don't get about this whole bottoming routine.

Because sometimes you love someone enough to do something you don't particularly like.

It's about gay men being equal in relationships and not playing male/female, top/bottom, dominant or submissive roles. It's about bonding, love, no anal, not hooking up and for gay men who don't want to follow stereotypical behavior. It's also as safe as you can get and isn't degrading to either man.

Once again you're speaking about that of which you have no experience and making moral judgements for other people. Go back to your own bedroom and stop spending so much time worrying about what gays do in theirs.

Or is there another reason you're so fascinated by gay anal sex?

It's very psychologically damaging what tops do. Many gay men already have problems with love and self esteem, and when you have the tops giving them all these compliments about their bottoming skills they start to believe it.
On a prior post these bottoms were saying things like they are a proud bottoms, willling bottoms, or have been complimented on their bottoming skills. It's an awful way to think on oneself.

You are spending an enormous amount of time here preaching about the alleged moral and medical dangers of anal sex. I have never met a straight man who spends so much time worrying about what other consenting adults do in their own bedroom, much less trying to convince gays that it's wrong. There's a pathology to this sort of behavior and it usually means that your 90%/1% needs some serious readjustment to be even remotely accurate.

Here's something strictly hypothetical:

Fred had some normal same-sex contact and decided that it felt good. As a straight man, Fred had to defend his ego to himself and so decided that rather than change his sexual identity that he would change that of gays. Only when gays give-up the parts of gay sex he found objectionable could Fred's ego admit that he was at least bisexual or even completely gay. If gays didn't engage in anal sex, he'd probably even identify himself as gay because then the practices he liked would be acceptable to him.

Dude, honestly and without rancor, please get some psychological help for yourself. I think you'll live a much happier life if you start focusing on your own sexuality rather than worrying about everyone else's.

 

[huw ginnit]

Tolerate? Why do something you don't want to do? That's what I don't get about this whole bottoming routine.



That is very hard to believe but I guess it's possible. I thought like 99.9% of gay guys love giving oral. I have a post somewhere on here about a man I know who was doing research on internet hookups and something like 500 gay guys, within a week's time, wanted to "service" him and expected "no reciprocation". (their words)



I posted before about this. I'd never heard of it until recently when a gay man mentioned it and told me about a website.

FROTTAGE What's Hot About Frot

It's about gay men being equal in relationships and not playing male/female, top/bottom, dominant or submissive roles. It's about bonding, love, no anal, not hooking up and for gay men who don't want to follow stereotypical behavior. It's also as safe as you can get and isn't degrading to either man.



I said much of this in an earlier post and the tops freaked out as usual. You don't want to deprive them of their pleasure, but when you tell them to be a bottom, they're not interested. They are at less risk for disease and anal damage when they're a top.
It's very psychologically damaging what tops do. Many gay men already have problems with love and self esteem, and when you have the tops giving them all these compliments about their bottoming skills they start to believe it.
On a prior post these bottoms were saying things like they are a proud bottoms, willling bottoms, or have been complimented on their bottoming skills. It's an awful way to think on oneself.

It is completely wrong to assume that the insertive partner has dominance over the receptive, to say something like that as a straight man, in a thread about gay sex, shows you up to be the ignorant person that you have shown yourself to be time and time again.

I don't know what you base these pet theories on, if it is the website you mentioned it has a VERY one-sided view of sex between men, and comes across as bitter and hurt. What is good for those people who subscribe to that view is not neccessarily good for anyone else.

It is in no way disparaging for any gay man to admit he likes to be a receptive partner, in any more sense that it is demeaning for a straight man to be told he has a good sexual technique... or that a woman can assume an assertive position in a sexual context. It is an assumption on your part, and as such indicates your attitude to gay men and their sexual choices-nothing more than that.

What I wonder is that you think you have anything constructive to add to a thread such as this.... surely a straight man with no agenda would just go onto the next thread, rather than waste his time pontificating his opinion which is unhelpful to the debate, flawed profoundly with lack of balance or reasoning and outmoded in the extreme.

 

[huw ginnit]

But in response to the initial question, the answers lie in the development of the relationship between the two people concerned. A preference of role is I believe a fluid thing, for myself especially; sometimes I want to the insertive partner, others the receptive...my partner and I are both versatile. This suits us both and means that anytime a change of role is suggested it is not a problem.

But if as the OP suggests, a 100% "Top" or "Bottom" wants to switch roles...then by that definition, they are no longer 100% one way or the other and have moved into a "Versatile" position.

The thing is that a good, healthy working sexual relationship needs more than anything else is- communication. Without communication, there is no framework to explore, experiment or achieve satisfaction. Sex needs to be a mutually satisfying expression between two (or more if so desired) people, and without telepathy there is little or no way anyone else can give you what you desire without you telling them.

If you can talk things over with your partner, and this applies to everyone, gay or straight you can at least start to understand that persons wishes and choices and begin to align yourself with their needs and requests, should you feel able....

Perhaps you aren't able to perform something for your partner- something they suggest for example makes you feel uncomfortable or awkward; it is communication that allows you to explain your stand point and hope that they can understand yours.

Returning to the given premise then, if a person feels that they are missing out on an aspect of a full and frank enjoyable sex life, it is their responsibilty to speak up, so that their partner can evaluate their own actions in a context of the relationship...

 

[cgttown]

So, I have a question. I've had some m2m experiences, and if I'm cruising, I am a "total top." I really have no desire to bottom in anal, though mutual oral is pleasant sometimes. I will say that there is great variance in my experience in the skills of those who participate in oral sex, and there is a helluva lot of difference from one bottom to the next. It certainly has convinced me that there is as much skill in being the receptive in anal as there is in trying to be a "good top."

If I were in a same sex "relationship," I'd probably see the importance of the versatile role. If it's just about sex, though, I am a 100% top. In hetero sex, I'm 100% top, too. If I'm honest, there is probably something about dominance in there. Although, I do enjoy a "me on bottom" position in both hetero and same sex intercourse.

 

[14x8thck]

I am 50/50 love them both! But it takes a GREAT BOTTOM TO MAKE A GREAT TOP ! Someone told me that a long time ago and I truly believe it.

Pretty true!:biggrin1:

I know this is my own quote but I love both as does my partner. There are times when one of us wants to top or bottom and the ITCH needs to be SCRATCHED! Someone said speak not of what you do not know and it is true. I cannot imagine my life without either. And both are out of making love.Well sometimes it is just a raw FUCK but...........................

 

[Vices2Habits]

assertive "power" bottom... and have no interest in playing top role.