Bottoming issues

[treto555]

Wondering if this is normal but every time I go to bottom even when I use toys upon the initial penetration I am overly tight but once it goes it I have major muscle spasms where the guy has to pull out but once the spasms stops I am looser and I can bottom more easily, is this normal?

Also when I do bottom I tend to cum way too fast sometimes in less than a minute without even touching myself is there something I can do so that I can last longer?

 

[flooble]

In reverse order:

You cum quickly because your prostate is being stimulated. Which is more or less the whole point of bottoming, innit? Speaking only for myself, when a guy cums fast because my dick is inside him, literally my only reaction is GO ME I AM THE KING OF SEX. Like, seriously, it's a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge ego boost. If the guys you're getting with are making you feel bad about it, stop fucking them because you deserve better.

Beyond that, the usual 'lasting longer' advice applies: have a preemptive wank shortly before you get together with someone; depending on your refractory period, why not cum twice in a single session--once by mouth or hand, again when you get fucked; when you're by yourself, include anal stimulation in your wanking and edge yourself, basically train yourself to resist the urge.

For your other issue...I have never knowingly experienced that specific sequence of events happening with a bottom, but my ex (cis male) would relatively frequently get me all the way inside him, then very suddenly need me to pull out, and then would be absolutely ready to get fucked for a long time. Maybe this is just how your body reacts?

I think a lot of queer men have unrealistic expectations around sex. Buttsex is tough! The anal sphincters evolved to push stuff out, not take it in. Small wonder that you're not reacting like a pornstar! I say accept that this is just how your body works, and any man who doesn't respect that is a man who doesn't deserve sex from you.

 

[Mister2101]

In reverse order:

You cum quickly because your prostate is being stimulated. Which is more or less the whole point of bottoming, innit? Speaking only for myself, when a guy cums fast because my dick is inside him, literally my only reaction is GO ME I AM THE KING OF SEX. Like, seriously, it's a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge ego boost. If the guys you're getting with are making you feel bad about it, stop fucking them because you deserve better.

Beyond that, the usual 'lasting longer' advice applies: have a preemptive wank shortly before you get together with someone; depending on your refractory period, why not cum twice in a single session--once by mouth or hand, again when you get fucked; when you're by yourself, include anal stimulation in your wanking and edge yourself, basically train yourself to resist the urge.

For your other issue...I have never knowingly experienced that specific sequence of events happening with a bottom, but my ex (cis male) would relatively frequently get me all the way inside him, then very suddenly need me to pull out, and then would be absolutely ready to get fucked for a long time. Maybe this is just how your body reacts?

I think a lot of queer men have unrealistic expectations around sex. Buttsex is tough! The anal sphincters evolved to push stuff out, not take it in. Small wonder that you're not reacting like a pornstar! I say accept that this is just how your body works, and any man who doesn't respect that is a man who doesn't deserve sex from you.

Good advice. Every one is different...especially when it comes to anal. Take time. "Practice" See what "works" for you when being penetrated.....play with your dildo and butt plugs.....best of luck!!

 

[Brodie888]

My suggestion is rather than pull out during a painful spasm, don't move at all until the pain passes.

Usually pain is because insertion has been too deep too fast for you to adapt to.

My suggestion is to practice with a dildo only inserting one inch at a time. A good trick is to clench your hole for 5 seconds then try sliding it in until you feel the spasm about to start. Pause, then clench for 5 seconds and repeat the process. Once it's all in you can start with slow short strokes building up to longer fast strokes.

Once you learn how your body reacts, start sex with you on top so you can control the initial phase. Once you loosen up, you can let him do what he likes.

 

[treto555]

My suggestion is rather than pull out during a painful spasm, don't move at all until the pain passes.

Usually pain is because insertion has been too deep too fast for you to adapt to.

My suggestion is to practice with a dildo only inserting one inch at a time. A good trick is to clench your hole for 5 seconds then try sliding it in until you feel the spasm about to start. Pause, then clench for 5 seconds and repeat the process. Once it's all in you can start with slow short strokes building up to longer fast strokes.

Once you learn how your body reacts, start sex with you on top so you can control the initial phase. Once you loosen up, you can let him do what he likes.

I been trying to use a anal trainer kit which comes with a set of 3 and having trouble getting to the middle one. I enjoy bottoming it's just a act of congress and not sure if it is because I have pelvic floor dysfunction or not.

 

[Brodie888]

I been trying to use a anal trainer kit which comes with a set of 3 and having trouble getting to the middle one. I enjoy bottoming it's just a act of congress and not sure if it is because I have pelvic floor dysfunction or not.

You'd be better off with a series of progressively more girthy dildoes. It will allow you to stretch deeper and allow more easier "learning curve".

 

[Brodie888]

I been trying to use a anal trainer kit which comes with a set of 3 and having trouble getting to the middle one. I enjoy bottoming it's just a act of congress and not sure if it is because I have pelvic floor dysfunction or not.

Having said that, make sure you start small enough and know what girth you are ordering.

 

[Mike Fisher]

Wondering if this is normal but every time I go to bottom even when I use toys upon the initial penetration I am overly tight but once it goes it I have major muscle spasms where the guy has to pull out but once the spasms stops I am looser and I can bottom more easily, is this normal?

Also when I do bottom I tend to cum way too fast sometimes in less than a minute without even touching myself is there something I can do so that I can last longer?

 

[Andrea79]

I don’t want to be rude, maybe this is not the right place, but i would lime to know ehat kind of toys do you like more and enjoy more

 

[Auggiecakes]

Wondering if this is normal but every time I go to bottom even when I use toys upon the initial penetration I am overly tight but once it goes it I have major muscle spasms where the guy has to pull out but once the spasms stops I am looser and I can bottom more easily, is this normal?

Also when I do bottom I tend to cum way too fast sometimes in less than a minute without even touching myself is there something I can do so that I can last longer?

I have the same problem but I know that mine stems from not being 100% relaxed and comfortable with the top. Because I notice that when I’m doing it with someone I’ve known for a while, I just open up like a flower. Lol