I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. With my first relationship, I was the top. That lasted a few years. Then I was in a relationship for 10 years as a bottom. Now I'm back on top. I like doing both.
I also don't understand how a guy can get fucked without being hard. Sure, I see all the time that the bottom is soft, but I know every time I was getting fucked I was as hard as a rock. Usually just the anticipation would get me aroused. The best is getting pounded and jacked off at the same time. I'm a dribbler, but that would often get me to shoot onto my chest.
I like the porn with the bottom staying hard. Seems like you know he is enjoying it.