Boundaries in Dom/Sub Relationship

[angelo1776]

Hello everyone

Coming here out of caution and curiosity. I’m 23M, and I find myself consistently fantasizing about getting into a romantic relationship with someone at least 10-15 years older than me, and us having a consistent dom/sub dynamic. I often fantasize about my partner controlling what I wear… making me wear tight clothing, kissing, licking and spitting on me as he dresses me, making me obey orders, manhandling me… and much, much more.

However, I’m aware of the fact that there’s a FINE LINE between a consensual, safe, controlled dynamic like this, and straight-up abuse and manipulation. Especially with the authority my partner would have with age and experience, treading into this territory / relationship has to be done with caution and self-awareness.

I just wanted to ask, if any of you sexy members have a relationship dynamic that involves domming, subbing, and switching, what are your best tips when communicating this fantasy / desire to your partner to best maintain you and your partners humanity / dignity / safety? Let me know. Thanks in advance

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I guess you and I are the only subs on here. While I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship, I'm looking to have a sub/dom experience similar to yours (minus the spitting). Trying to figure out where do I even start? I'm not sure if that is something I would be able to find on a date or hook up app.

 

[brombo8]

Actually, the site is full of subs.
As long as you discuss things beforehand, and make sure your partner is safe, I think you're good to go. You can always change your mind later on.
If you want to talk more, reach out to me.

 

[Rooker]

I have done a version of this with multiple girlfriends and now with my wife. Not so much the spitting, although that sometimes happens during blowjobs. No leather or dungeons. Mostly just control. Stuff you mentioned. I tell her what to wear on dates, she has to earn points for doing things, she has a knee pillow and a leash and collar.

I think the key is that I love and respect my wife, and respected my girlfriends before her, at least those In the last five years or so before I got married. For example, she isn’t always on a leash. She’s a grown, highly confident woman. We conduct many activities like any couple.

I was never into the dating apps or random hookups, so take that information as you want, but I think the key to a good relationship with this dynamic is to start with the sweet stuff and expand from there. You need that foundation in place. At the least, you need to know that your partner isn’t a selfish, narcissistic asshole.

I can respond here or to a DM if you want more information. But really, I think it’s probably easier to get someone who cares about you to spit on you then to get someone that wants to spit on you to care about you.

 

[Oldcowboy]

Im straight—-but have an abundance of fine cocksuckers—-most of whom are male.

Im only interested in their mouth—my cock—-which I make clear upfront.

It’s a subservient act—many “want to have -0- control” as they find it liberating. I like getting into their heads and having them “imprinted” on my cock. For several it’s the only one they’ve ever tasted.

Knee pads, collars, choke chains, dick slapping, teasing, denial and rewards—are some things used. One new cocksucker asked to be restrained—and “used hard”—-when he came thru the door I put him against the wall, cuffed his hands behind his Back, Choke chained, leashed and hooded him—put him to his knees and led/drug him over to my chair and leashed him to the arm—with very little slack. Hadn’t said a word. Went and freshened my drink, sat down and mind fucked him for a bit—-then pulled his hood off and very slowly introduced him to my cock.

I am strong and quite controlling physically—definitely in charge and they definitely need to have pleasing me—and my cock—their priority

But—-there has to be trust— they know I would never truly hurt them

I offer validation, appreciation and respect…..and I really try to get into c.s. head—-and give them what they want/need—-although they might not know it yet.