Bowel movements

[B_Stronzo]

There's a wonderful old advertisement slogan here in the States to do with the unsung virtues of a good bowel movement.

The product is "ExLax". It helps when one can't get rid of the shit. The slogan goes "smooth move ExLax".

It was too!

Of course inevitably the slogan resurfaces now and again to take on more subtle meaning with great success.

So, after a good trip to the old crapper and having rid myself of the superflous waste material of a good night's sleep, I say again;

"Smooth move ExLax"!

It was too. Well done!

Anyone else want to describe ridding him or herself of the shit?

Here's your chance.

No fart jokes please!!:biggrin1: :wink:

 

[tripod]

Well Ex-lax is a fairly dangerous medication to take on aregular basis, but I presume that this was a one time expulsion! Your carotenoids and essential lipids take a huge dive after the "smoothe moove", so Have some fresh Salmon tonight and eat lots of berries (blue, ras, or black) Stronzo!
It reminds me of a tea I used to sell when I ran a vitamin store back when I was 20. It's actual name was "SMOOTH MOVE" I always thought that a menthos style commercial would have been perfect for the tea, but alas... it's success was by word of mouth.

Smooth Move Stronzo... Smooth Move!
:Flush: :Flush: :Flush:

 

[B_Stronzo]

Well Ex-lax is a fairly dangerous medication to take on aregular basis, but I presume that this was a one time expulsion!

Oh let's hope so tripod!

I don't think the asshole can stand much more uninvited activity. Yewotch! :redface:

 

[Pecker]

Well, there was that constipated accountant who couldn't budget.

The constipated composer couldn't finish his last movement.

And the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.

 

[B_Stronzo]

Ah Pecker!

All the while I had several "number twos" handy.

All I needed was a good dose of lead - not all those nasty chemicals.

I'll be sure to call on you next time 'round. God knows there'll be one.

 

[Gain on 10]

After my first colonoscopy in '05, I started taking metamucil.

They don't advertise this, but when you take the sugar free metamucil 3X a day, after about 2-3 days, it's quite possible to have a shit that surpasses 3'.

That cracks me up. It's something I wonder if college fraternities would have fun with. The biggest turd contest.

Funny side effect of that medicine.

 

[Gisella]

:tongue:

Hmm..I dont know about this product but for sure regular bowel movements are necessary for body get rid of toxic waste..eka..just imagine the situation the waste sitting there ...just like a car the body start to react to that...energy levels, skin and etc shows the situation inside...

Eating fibers and natural foods without crap body cant diggest or get rid off, water water water your being too...and leave your before hard empty daily number 2 apointments happy aliviated dancing and singing:

YouTube - dj bobo - what a feeling

:arms: Have a happy day everybody!!!

 

[speshk]

What does moving one's bowls have to do with Exlax? I thought everyone kept them in a cupboard or cabinet.

 

[B_Stronzo]

What does moving one's bowls have to do with Exlax? I thought everyone kept them in a cupboard or cabinet.

Point taken!

That reminds me speshk- I need to clean out my cupboard of superfluous and mis-matched crockery and chipped glassware. Those annoyingly flawed items are beginning to make my supper table look ill-suited to my superb good taste.

Thank god the Porcelain God is in fine shape and doesn't need an update however..

 

[Lordpendragon]

I am wondering whether Stronzo is more fastidious about his bowels or his vowels.

 

[B_Stronzo]

I am wondering whether Stronzo is more fastidious about his bowels or his vowels.

Both, I'm happy to report, are now flowing freely and without any indication of prohibition. :wink:

 

[Lordpendragon]

Both, I'm happy to report, are now flowing freely and without any indication of prohibition. :wink:

So you finally managed to extract that large spiky object then?

 

[B_Stronzo]

.... 'large spiky object'? Hmmm... :33:

**checking**

Yes! Yes I did. Seems to have been eliminated with no residual recurring side effects. I'll keep you posted.

Hence (as was my intent in my OT) the virtues of the bowel movement.

Mum says; "perhaps dahling you need a good trip to the bathroom. A 'clearing of the decks' may well be in order".

When will I learn to listen to my mother? :redface:

 

[tripod]

I am wondering whether Stronzo is more fastidious about his bowels or his vowels.

Well they both sound the same when spoken with a Spanish accent!
:chairfall:

 

[Pecker]

I think I may have found your problem, Stronzie:

 

[B_Stronzo]

Thanks.. but no Pecks. It's an interesting theory but it's a more 'bunged' than "bottled up" problem ..

In fact I think it's more 'spiky' an object than that as LPD's suggested.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Seems like every guy in my office has to take a dump around the same time every day. Each time I attempt to sneak off to the men's room to pinch a loaf, just about every other guy on the floor arrives there at the same time. Sometimes I have to stand in line. What should have been a pleasant few minutes reading the newspaper on the commode ends up turning into a harried chore punctuated by all the pleasant sounds and smells of bowel movments.

 

[Gisella]

Seems like every guy in my office has to take a dump around the same time every day. Each time I attempt to sneak off to the men's room to pinch a loaf, just about every other guy on the floor arrives there at the same time. Sometimes I have to stand in line. What should have been a pleasant few minutes reading the newspaper on the commode ends up turning into a harried chore punctuated by all the pleasant sounds and smells of bowel movments.

:lmao:

I can imagine...and it burn my eyes just to imagine the afliction and toxic situation...eka!

 

[Pumperthumper]

When I saw the title of this thread I knew right away that I had to come and participate.

I really feel sorry for those people who fight and wars and stuff who lose the ability to have bowel movements. There's nothing quite so satisfying as dropping a nice steaming duke. Personally, I'd rather lose my enormously massive penis than go through life without being able to take a nice relaxing crap.

The only thing that sucks sometimes is that my penis is so big it gets in the crappy toilet bowl when I don't feel like having it covered in crap at that particular moment.

 

[Nitrofiend]

Seems like every guy in my office has to take a dump around the same time every day. Each time I attempt to sneak off to the men's room to pinch a loaf, just about every other guy on the floor arrives there at the same time. Sometimes I have to stand in line. What should have been a pleasant few minutes reading the newspaper on the commode ends up turning into a harried chore punctuated by all the pleasant sounds and smells of bowel movments.

Just yesterday I went to go take a dump and I had filled out the last of the 3 stalls in the bathroom. So it was the three of us, blind to the identity of each other and each composing our own shit symphony. This other guy came in humming to himself, and we immediately recognized his voice and he was like "What the fuck, I've never seen 3 pairs of feet here, everyone's taking a shit?". So he knocks on the first door, and then mine. Finally after a brief pause, he kicks open the stall next to mine and the guy starts yellin' at him, it was fucking hilarious and we both shit ourselves laughing (literally). So I finish first, closely followed by the guy to my right who I recognize as one of my friends down the hall. So I go to him "Ha-ha, I win, and you guys got a head-start!" to which he replies "It's quality over speed."

:lmao: